Show Me Your Soul

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Chapter 16 (v.1) - Nightmares and Cupid

Submitted: January 15, 2017

Reads: 594

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Submitted: January 15, 2017



~ Nightmares and Cupid ~




I woke up, panting and with my hair plastered around my neck. My chest was soaking with sweat.

A nightmare. Fuck.

I sat up and looked around this hotel room. The sun wasn’t up yet.

I haven’t dreamed about him for so many years, but I guess talking about it must have brought some memories back.

I looked to my side and saw Cec sound asleep next to me. Her chest was slowly rising and falling, she looked as peaceful as an angel.

Her blanket was on the edge of the bed and her t-shirt skidded up, revealing her underwear. She was wearing a plain slip, the fabric worn-out, still, I couldn’t look away. I stretched my arm and let my finger slightly brush her hipbone. She rubbed her face against the pillow and I thought I just woke her, but she just rolled to her back and kept her eyes closed.

I bit my lip and breathed deeply.

She’s a virgin.

The thought darted like a flash in my mind, together with the picture of Cec’s scarlet face at the party when Karen had assumed it. I had never thought I would still meet a virgin at college. I can’t think of one girl that didn’t lose her virginity in high school… but then, I always looked for the other type of girls. I didn’t want to get involved with any virgin. It would have been a pain in the ass explaining to her why I wouldn’t call her back, why I wouldn’t take her out, why I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her. They were looking for love and a relationship.

I surely didn’t want any of these.

And I was right.

Love meant weakness. Love entailed hate. Vulnerability. And trust.


Such an underrated, annoying thing. People said it all the time and they got screwed. And yet, they didn’t learn from their mistakes, they just continued falling in love.

I leaned back on the soft mattress, shutting my eyes closed in an attempt to maybe find some sleep. It was still dark outside and our first course started around noon.

Too early to get up and definitively too early to think about philosophical meanings of love.

It’s just a stupid, unnecessary feeling. 

No one ever touched her.

Probably she does once in a while.

I wondered what her face would look like when she’d climaxed, the sound she would make when she’d be in ecstasy while pushing her finger inside her. The way she would bite her lip when she’d come. Those lips… every possible thing I could do with those lips crossed my mind.

I pulled her shirt down before I could get a hard-on. Just thoughts made me horny?

I definitively needed sex. ASAP.

I stared at the ceiling, counting the crystals on the lusters to distract myself. Why the fuck was that thought preoccupying my mind, anyway? Since when did I become so obsessed with a girl? I shouldn’t get involved with her.

I listened to Cec’s steady breathing. She moaned and shifted her leg. She was restless in her sleep.

I turned to my side and propped my head up on my elbow, looking at her untroubled face.

She had listened. She had really listened. I could see that she was fighting the tears back and I’d expected her to run away after I had finished, I’d expected her to give me the same loathsome look she had given me in the basement back then after Victoria had shown up, I had expected her to leave and drive back to her house.

But she stayed. And she listened.

This girl never stops surprising me. Confusing me entirely with her actions, her answers, her behavior.

I could see Cec’s eyelids flutter, her lips slightly parted when she spun to her side and moved her arm around my waist. Her grip tightened when she pressed her body against mine, rubbing her face against my skin. A sigh escaped her mouth, almost inaudibly. I looked down at her body. I was astonished how her body fitted against mine like a puzzle.

Oh, perfect.

I exhaled deeply, watching her hand slowly moving up and down, matching my breathing.

Just when I wanted to disentangle myself from her grip, she rolled to her back, lying still.

I couldn’t help but utter a faint chuckle at her movements. At least she wasn’t kicking me.

Tugging at the sheets, I tried to cover her up, hoping that will stop her from moving. Just when I brought my face closer to her body, she stretched her arm and to my horror she wrapped it around my neck. I cursed silently and sighed so she could eventually wake up. No, she was still sound asleep. Well, if she woke up now, it would be a little hard explaining to her why I was on top of her. Her grip tightened and she mumbled something. Her voice was soft. Foreign. Was that even English? Maybe she’d said something in French. Suddenly, I wished I had paid more attention during French class. I had mostly slept and just a few words stuck in my brain.

I looked at her for a few seconds.

Whatever, I thought and before my rationality could tell me what the hell I was doing, I placed my head carefully on her chest.

She didn’t move or flinch. She just continued breathing calmly, so that I could hear her heart beating slowly. I put my arms around her and let her soft body be my pillow.

My perfect pillow.

My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier each time Cec’s heart pounded against her chest.

The last thing I felt was her hand in my hair before I drifted into a dreamless sleep and felt my body completely relax for the first time in a while.






I woke up from a lightly knock on the door.

A maid stuck her head shyly through the door and closed it gently after having seen that Ace and I were still lying in bed.

Well, I was lying on the bed; he was almost on top of me. His head was across my chest and his arms entangled around my waist, his body cloaking mine.

He must have moved his body in his sleep. I felt the familiar heat he radiated rising from my belly up to my chest.

Every inch of me was hyper-aware of him… the way his body fitted against mine, the way his arm was around me like a band of steel, even his thick, soft curls around my fingertips

I carefully withdrew my hand and gently pushed Ace off by his shoulders, so that I could slip away from his arms. He groaned and rolled onto his stomach but didn’t wake. I released the breath I was holding and got up. I looked if he was still asleep, then turned around and took off his t-shirt. I slipped into my jeans and buttoned my blouse up.

I tried to find my damn purse on the floor but couldn’t see it anywhere.

“Dammit”, I cursed under my breath.

And then it made a buzzing sound. Crap! I looked around and rushed to the couch to turn it off, but the noise had already woken Ace up. He rubbed his eye and yawned. His other eye was still purplish but not as bad as yesterday. He looked at me and his gaze instantly changed from sleepy to frowning and tense.

“Hello?”, I said as I placed my phone on my ear.

I turned around but heard that Ace started putting his jeans on.

“Hey, Cecily. It’s me, Dexter!” Oh. My. Gosh! I have totally forgotten to meet him! I looked at my watch in panic and saw that it was almost 9 a.m.

“Hello?”, he said again.

“Yeah – hi! Um… I am so sorry, Dexter, I overslept! Can you wait… let’s say twenty minutes? I’ll be right there.”

“Okay, no problem.”

“Great, see you!”

I hung up and noticed Ace’s gaze on me. He was fully dressed and slowly walked toward me.

“You’re going somewhere?”, he said, his voice neutral.

I nodded, “Yeah, I’ve totally forgotten that I’ll be having breakfast with Dexter.” And I was already that late… great… just great.

His eyes narrowed. “So, you wanted to sneak out?” He was all poker face but a muscle in his jaw popped up.

“Uhh… yeah? I didn’t want to wake you up and I have to meet someone.”

He shrugged. “Why would you want to meet that Daniel?”

“His name is Dexter”, I corrected. “And why wouldn’t I go? He’s a nice guy and asked me out.”

I frowned, matching his stone-cold gaze. Why shouldn’t I go, Ace? Say it.

I smiled innocently. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t go, Ace.”

Come on. Say it.

Part of me was angry at myself for desperately trying to make him say what I wanted to hear.

But I needed him to say it if he wanted me to stay.

And just like that, he equaled my faux smile with his own. “No, there’s no reason. Go have fun with Dennis.”

“Fine. I will”, I snapped and headed to the door. “And his name is Dexter!”

“Whatever”, he mumbled and turned around.

I shut the door and rushed to the elevator.

Well, I just had to push it.

I sighed and walked past the desk clerk to the entrance. Somehow, I still hoped that Ace will come rushing through the elevator and telling me No, Cec, wait! I was an idiot but now I see it, don’t go because I– I shook my head and woke up from my daydream. I’d watched too many rom coms.

Such scenes only existed in Hollywood.


I arrived at Eng’s Touch half an hour later and saw Dexter sitting at the table. I apologized deeply, but he wasn’t angry at all and didn’t make an annoying comment.

Ace would have done that. The corner of his mouth would have lifted, and he would have invented every possible joke to torment me. Okay, this was a no-Ace-zone.

I focused on Dexter and listened to his story about what he had done yesterday after having dinner and what patient he was going to treat today.

“Did you have a nice evening, too?”, he asked.

“Yes, it was… the same as usual.” First date, first lie. Oh God, it felt so awful. But the truth was out of option. “Is everything okay? You seem to spaced out”, he said.

“Yes, of course! I’m fine.” I smiled.

The waitress came with our food and it wasn’t what I had expected. It tasted… different.

No, it was awful. Normally, I could eat anything in the morning (except coffee and tea, of course) but the beans were either too salty or my stomach couldn’t handle their taste. And the tomatoes were neither crispy nor boiled thoroughly… they were just stewed which was exactly the way I didn’t like them.

Okay, it wasn’t poor Dexter’s fault that I was so annoyingly choosy with my food and I didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable or offended, so I swallowed every bite without chewing too much and focused on whatever he was saying.

Okay… it was just blah blah about college. So, yeah, I sometimes really spaced out. No-Ace-zone was hard to maintain. Not only couldn’t I catch up with Dexter’s stories, but thinking about last night made me lose my appetite within a second. Which was in fact not that difficult given that I was already forcing every bite in my mouth.

“Are you listening?”

“W-What?”, I stuttered. Oh boy, that was the third time that he had to repeat a sentence! “I’m so sorry, I was so focused on my meal”, I lied.

He smiled and said, “No problem. I’m glad you like it.”

“Yeah, totally!” Lie Number Three. “So, what did you want to know?” Now he had my full attention.

“I said, what courses do you have this semester?”

“Only a couple. Ortho, clinical chemistry, pharms and stuff.”

College already consumed too much of my lifetime, so I didn’t need to be constantly reminded of it.

He gave me some advice how to learn for each subject. He even offered his notes with was nice but… argh! He was so overambitious and committed that it made we want to vomit. Studying to pass an exam was fine, but studying too much was pathological.

He should see someone who was as dedicated as him. Someone who deserved this kindness and shared his commitment towards studies and patients. Someone like–

“And that’s why he decided for a Camlog-implant instead of–”

“Oh my gosh! Do you have plans this Saturday?”, I yelped. “Oh God, sorry for interrupting you.”

I chewed on my cheek and cursed myself for my rudeness.

He looked to his side and took a sip of his coffee. “No problem” I sensed he was slightly annoyed. Oops…

“Um… I’m sorry, but I just remembered that I have a friend – Anna – who’s very good at clinical chemistry. She’s in my semester and as ambitious as you. Also, she’s a great teacher.” He arched his eyebrows, looking surprised; I had awoken his interest. He wanted to know more, so I talked positively about her for a while.

Saturday was okay for him and I promised to text him if Anna has any other plans. But I don’t think she actually has. Most weekends she spends with studying.

He insisted to pay for my meal which I reluctantly accepted and we headed to the subway station.

When we arrived at the clinic, we parted because he had to go to the changing room and I headed to the stairways.

I can’t believe that I’m going to set those two up. I’ve never done that before, that was usually Cassy’s field. I smiled as the thought crossed my mind that I’m becoming Cupid.

I was still smiling like a stupid school girl, but the moment I looked at him, it vanished.

I was so lost in thoughts that I didn’t even see Ace coming my way. He wasn’t wearing the same jeans and t-shirt anymore. Probably, he went back to his place and changed them.

“I see, apparently, you had a nice breakfast”, he observed.

If he wasn’t so damn arrogant, I would’ve told him the truth about how awful it had been but my ego would never allow that. I straightened my head and walked past him, saying, “Yes, it was nice. And this Saturday, we’ll see each other again.”

His eyes glistened for a moment but then he just narrowed them so they almost shone onyx black instead of blue.

“Fine. Have fun with Damian.” He shrugged.

I moved my lips closer to his ear, my feet on tiptoes. “Oh, I will have fun. Who knows, maybe I will have real fun and feel… pleasure.”

That wasn’t even a full lie. I was going to meet him this Saturday, the real reason was just not that I want to feel anything with him.

He opened his mouth but I quickly disappeared inside the huge amphitheater.

I sat next to Cassy, Ruby and Anna and focused on the girls’ chat.

When Cassy finished talking about her date with Michael a couple days ago, Ace walked past us and sat on the other side of the amphitheater. Everyone was staring at him – probably because of his purplish eye.

“Oh my, what happened to his eye?”, Anna whispered.

Ruby and Cassy turned around and were as shocked as Anna. Then, they turned their eyes to me as if I had the answer. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to look just as flabbergasted.

After they finished their theories, I told Anna about Dexter and asked her if she could help him out. She looked surprised but as kind as she is, she agreed to meet him with me on Saturday.

The professor entered the room and I leaned back, letting my thoughts wander instead of hearing what she was saying.

It wasn’t a lie, I reminded myself.

Then why the hell am I having a bad conscious for telling Ace “the truth”?


© Copyright 2018 Mirette Cordelia. All rights reserved.


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