Chapter 19: Secrets of life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Reads: 442

He checked his watch, 3 pm it read.  “Shoot, I need to head to Confession.  It doesn’t take long mind you; but I don’t want you to feel obligated to wait.  If you’d like I can call you later this evening.” Jay said to Cassandra as they moved down the main street past the shops and restaurants. 


“Confession I never really understood that.  So I guess I can assume you’re Catholic.” She smiled


“Indeed I am, Roman Catholic to be specific.  The word Catholic really just mean ecumenical or Universal; there’s lots of different practices within it, Orthodox ecetera.  I mean really by defined Theology there are only really two Christian faiths; Protestants which would include Non Denominationals, Baptists, pretty much all of the Non Catholic Faiths that recognize Jesus Christ.  Then Catholicism.” He said feeling some pride in being able to show off his knowledge of the internal workings of the Christian Faiths.


“You know, how about I come with you and you explain to me this confession thing, I never quite understood how telling another man your innermost secrets could somehow ‘abracadabra’ make someone ‘all better’” she lifted her hand and wiggled her fingers


“So I think the easiest way to explain confession is a metaphor like a modern counseling session; people will pay to tell some stranger they don’t know their life’s problems and pay them well mind you to listen.” He chuckled “You see, I’m just as goofy as everyone else; I need to tell someone how screwed up I am to feel better about myself.”


“I’m not Christian per say” Cassandra mused “I believe historically there was some dude, yes.  I believe the dude, convinced a bunch of people he was some messiah; but didn’t Hitler do the same thing?  I believe in something listening to the things we say beyond this world sure.  But do I believe there’s some bearded gentleman sitting around managing a bunch of wishes for a bunch of whiners?  No not even a little bit.  So I can assume you believe in some spirituality then?”


“Agnostic, nothing wrong with that.” Jay smiled as they kept moving towards the Church only which was only about a half mile from the Downtown area, “I do believe in something Supernatural, I choose to call it God; as I view it you could call it ‘tree’ and it would be the same thing, it’s just a label.  So here, let me try to add this element; the ancient Druids believed that when one caused harm to another, they then held the responsibility of that deed until they themselves chose to fix it.” He took a deep breath


“I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and in my words, in what I have done, and in what I have failed to do; and I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and you, my brothers and sisters, to pray for me to the Lord our God.” Jay states slowly accentuating the words brother’s and sisters


Raising his index finger “What does this really mean?  I interpret it to mean that not only am I responsible for my own transgressions that are secret to me; also my transgressions against my brothers and sisters of mankind.  By confessing I allow myself self-reflection on who I may have hurt, even in passing ‘my words’ or ‘thoughts’ can absolutely cause harm.  You see if you believe that thoughts become words, then words must become action.” He stated in a pragmatic tone.  “Therefore I’m responsible, whether intentional or not.  If I hurt someone; then I myself should make amends.  God isn’t going to just give me a hall pass, it will still be on my conscious thoughts.  Unless of course I have some sociopathic tendencies or something.”


“Oooooohhhhh now we’re adding logic to the Supernatural and Preternatural belief system eh?” she mocked playfully, “So that begs the question, how many people have you hurt?” she winked flirtatiously.


Jay sighed heavily; it was obvious that her question hit a place within him that may have been well scarred but was an easily opened wound.“More people than I could ever hope to make amends with or for.  People who loved me, people who were kind to me; for what?  Just because of my small self-centered perspective.  You see Cassandra, that’s why I confess.  Not because I’m without sin.  Because indeed I’m the worst type of sinner.  I am quite aware of my flawed nature, besides what’s the harm in reminding myself I’m human or being reminded I owe someone an apology?”


She could sense the modern temple as they approached.  She could enter if she chose.  One of the great secrets of mankind and she knew it “We are all created; from the great creator.” She thought. 


“Nothing, nothing at all; did you make that up or did you study on it some?” She was quite careful to note every line in his face clear as he spoke; this one wore his pain for anyone to see.  Like the decorations of the Soldier he once was.  He allowed anyone to see him exactly for what he was.  Most of his kind would peacock or try to show off for a pretty girl.  This one was quite comfortable with himself, far too bold, far too trusting but quite aware. 


The creator wasn’t something Cassandra understood other than ‘it’ had been in many universes long before she could fathom or her master had knowledge of.  “Master, what a waste of a title.  Another worthless creature brooding over Daddy kicking him out.” She would often say out loud.  She especially loved using these types of words with the Monkeys’, they were so naïve; she could spin any amount of belief with her deceptions.  But not this one; there was something overly commital about this one.  “He just knows.” She thought.


“I’lll wait here.” She smiled as they reached the grounds of the church.  “Wouldn’t want me to burst into flames or something.”


As Jay left her making his way to the doors his phone buzzed, stopping to check it the green light blinked. 


The text read:  Hi, I know you probably don’t want to hear from me.  But I need to speak with you.


“Fuck of course now she decides she’s going to text me.  Chick has some sixth sense of me having a decent day” he thought.

Submitted: December 15, 2016

© Copyright 2021 J Woods. All rights reserved.


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