purgatory

Reads: 3842  | Likes: 6  | Shelves: 4  | Comments: 16

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Science Fiction  |  House: The Imaginarium

it is the year 2029 and 16 year old Jordan is visiting her grandparents. When allowed to go explore she finds a silver pocket watch that her dad meant to give her not knowing that it will effect her future but change the past as well.

Table of Contents

prologue


Hey everyone, Hblovecraft here. I know it has been a while since I have written considering the writers block that I have had but I just wanted to say that I am back and am now starting to rewrite
Purgatory. I have taken a look at some of the advice and reviews I have gotten on this and decided that I am going to start putting them to use. Can't wait to hear what you guys think about this
and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do! Until then everyone, Hblovecraft signing out.
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regret


Hey guys! Hblovecraft here with another edit to Purgatory. For this story I decided to make it into more of a third person point of view yet part is still first person that way you can learn from
the characters but see their world. Sorry if it doesn't make much sense. Anyways I hope you like this and I would love to hear what you guys think about the new and improved chapters of Purgatory.
Until then everyone! Hblovecraft signing out.
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Nostalgia

Alright guys. What has happened previously during "Purgatory" is that jordan had a nightmare/flashback of what happened to her brother. You'll be seeing a lot more of these soon but just bear with me. It's all going to lead up to the full story of what happened to him. Until then you guys enjoy the story! Read Chapter

Yesterday was history yet here I am


Hey guys. I know it took forever but I finally posted the 3rd chapter of purgatory. Leave comments below and I'll be glad to hear what you guys think of this chapter.
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Madness is reality and normal is a myth


Hello everyone Hblovecraft here. Previously in Purgatory Jordan wakes up after messing around with the watch in her fathers body. What the heck is going on with her? Was it all a dream? I guess
you'll have to find out in my new chapter. Can't wait to hear your guys thoughts on this chapter and until then! Hblovecraft signing out.
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April 15, 2025


Hello everyone! Hblovecraft here with the fifth chapter of my book purgatory. Previously on Purgatory Jordan wakes up from what seems to be a lucid dream. She remembers everything that has happened
in it yet it couldn't be real could it? I'll leave that up to you guys to decide. In this chapter we will be traveling to a different point in time. What will be happening and where will it be
taking place? That is for me to know and you guys to find out. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and can't wait to hear what you think. Hblovecraft signing out.
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Stuck between the lines


Hello everyone, Hblovecraft here back with chapter 6 of "Purgatory". It has been a while since I last wrote but I am back now and pushing through this writers block. Previously in "Purgatory" we
read what looks like a journal entry from Elijah's point of view. He mentioned how he was playing catch with Jordan but from the date we see it was the same day that Jordan went back in time. We
also see from how it was written Elijah seems to know what happened that day, the main question however is this. How does Elijah know what happened? Well that is for you guys to find out and until
then everyone this is hblovecraft signing out.
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Recent Comments

Kossettes Novellettes

VERY mysterious. This a really good start and although much of what can be fixed has been said i guess i can hit on a few points of course this is basically one large box of text buuuut meh who cares. It can he helped by being prettied up but i have the same issue with my writing on the sights. Ehhh im not the best writing critique honestly :/ but i can tell you it is a great start and raises enough questions to keep one guessing of ciurse there are errors here and there but who cares. KMU i would love to see what happens next :)

XoXo

Kossette

Sun, December 11th, 2016 10:50pm

Author
Reply

Thanks for the advice Kossette it really helps. I'm trying to think about a title for the next chapter but I can't really think of anything yet. Any ideas? Also i'm glad you liked it. I'm not that good at writing at least when it comes to writing stories so I tried my best. Hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters.

Sun, December 11th, 2016 3:55pm

Kossettes Novellettes

All above statments are meant for the prologue

Sowy

Sun, December 11th, 2016 10:53pm

Author
Reply

It's okay. Thanks for letting me know.

Sun, December 11th, 2016 3:56pm

Swormnight

Only after the first chapter I'm interested in how the story is going to play out. There were a large amount of grammatical errors. I suggest using Grammarly to fix those errors. I use them for my writing and I have a feeling it can clean up your writing as well.

Mon, December 12th, 2016 6:53pm

Author
Reply

Okay thanks for the advice Swormnight. I'll have the second chapter up soon. I'm working on it right now

Mon, December 12th, 2016 10:55am

Kossettes Novellettes

Okay so this comment is ACTUALLY meant for chapte 1 this time lol.

The chapter is well holy shit is all i can say. When the brother transformed i lierally said wtf to myself hahaha. I love how the story is going so far and will continue onward.

Now i will say as has been pointed out before. The layout of the words needs to be worked on. Granted it has no effect on how the story is as a whole alot of readers will stop mid way because the entire thing is one large block of text (lazy asses haha jk) but to be honestit would benefit. Of course i have the exact same issue a lot i think its just booksie formattinf who knows. Try and keep thedialogue at least seperate from the body most times

All in all however the story flows REALLLY well and i will def jumo into chapter 2

Thu, December 15th, 2016 9:45pm

Author
Reply

Haha. Well I'm glad you liked it. In my opinion my stories could be approved on so thank you for the advice. I have the second chapter up so you can read it. I thought it was good how the younger brother transformed in the dream because I thought it would definitely throw off the people reading this story. Hope enjoy the next chapter and I'm working on the next one now.

Fri, December 16th, 2016 11:25am

Lucas Barstow

Grammar, spelling and paragraph/layout don't matter that much as long as the content is good. This is so far and I'd like to see you follow this up.

Wed, March 22nd, 2017 9:24pm

Author
Reply

Thanks. I've had a bit of writers block for a while and am trying to come up with a few ideas for the next chapter but I'm starting to get an idea for it. I'll have a new chapter posted soon.

Wed, March 22nd, 2017 2:28pm

Red Hunter

Interesting start here. It's certainly piqued my interest and I'll be reading onward. After looking at other comments people made I'd say they pretty much hit any and all constructive criticism points. Beyond that, good job!

Fri, February 23rd, 2018 7:48pm

Author
Reply

Thanks Red Comet. I am glad you enjoyed it and I have posted the fourth chapter today! It has actually been a while since I came up with ideas for this so I hope the fourth chapter came out good as well. Thanks again Red Comet! Hblovecraft signing out.

Fri, February 23rd, 2018 12:28pm

VeraAnneWolf

So far my "feel" of your story is something supernatural or horror. I can't say it grasped my interest because you open with a vague prologue followed by a nightmare, two taboo ways for a writer to begin their story. All I have about your MC POV (Jordan) is that something happened to his brother (dream info) his parents are out of the picture (dream info) and he has a grandfather he's going to visit. Three of those facts may or may not be correct because they were presented to me in a dream. The most memorable part of the story is when his little brother goes "demon" on him. Is that based on reality? Is that his brain twisting guilt and fear into some form of punishment he subconsciously thinks he deserves? Is it foreshadowing?

I'm not saying give up on the story. Again, the potential for supernatural or horror both have their merits. But is this the best start you could present a reader. No. Hope the comments are helpful. Good Luck.

P.S. Please do not keep the nightmare/dream. Throwing your reader out of a story before they've decided if their interested in the story is a very risky move that most professionals avoid because many readers will not forgive you for it. Seriously, just google "opening your story with a dream/nightmare" and see how others feel about it.

Sat, October 6th, 2018 4:37pm

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