Love and Anxiety

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
i got inspired to write this book based on disastrous realtionship i had while dealing with anxiety disorder
this book i hope one day gets readed by my ex who was eagerly curious to know my twisted mind and what happened to our love

Submitted: December 15, 2016

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Submitted: December 15, 2016

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Chapter one

Watching Lucy with Berny and my sister babi, the surround sound is very loud the screen is too bright, almost everything is unbearable for my anxiety but im trying my hardest to deal with it, i remind myself it's friday night i should relax and just have fun. The movie ends and we head outside, aghh fresh air feels so good in my unable and highly dysfunctional anxious lungs. we get inside of the car and we sing all the way home. while we almost there eamon song Fu#k it comes on and i burst into screaming; i love this song! My friend understands clearly that i love this song he turns left and drives around until the song finishes.While singing we see an awful accident on one side of the road. There's a pole crashed in half from the car ,There's blood on the windshield,policeman taking notes and searching for i have no idea what.Ohh my this is too much for my anxiety, i try hard to control the panic when my friend asks me if i know who's car is that. I look at him confused as i say NO. With a weird and scared look on his face he tells me it's my exes car. A cold breeze rushes in my body and i get so intense and paralyzed from fear my spine aches.I scream What? trying to get him to assure me that's true.He ensures me it's his and i die inside a little,Ive broken up with him like four months ago, i still love him though i haven't heard from him since then, i'm shocked to finally found out what he's been up to. Ohh my i can't stop the thoughts racing like a wave after waave drowning me little by little. my heart pounding my lungs desperately trying to catch a bit of breath.Is he dead? Coma? ohh my this is too much. Isn't my anxiety hell enough and i have to take this too? Don't you know that anxiety people already have awful feelings for no reason, a big reason like this could give me a heart attack. I go home try to sleep but i can't i keep asking myself should i call him or not? Goddamn i just want to know if he's alive.I make the desicion to text his best friend asking him if my ex is alright and of course i go to bed with high anxiety and now of course a sleepless night.I wake up exhausted, shit i need to go to work how am i going to work with these three things in my head ANXIETY, EXHAUSTION and WORRYING THOUGHTS.I go to work trying to hide the insecurity, the sweaty palms and the nervousness in my eyes, he hasn't replied yet. I tell my colleague everything that bothers me and she advices me to relax tells me that probably nothing happened to him, i try to believe her and try to get to work. I barely make it through 8 hrs and head home. i try to sit down with my family and try to eat something. Pointless i have a lump in my throat thinking about my ex and checking my phone every two seconds waiting for a reply...

To be continued...


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