Fallen Star

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A short story narrated by an unpopular high school girl who's dealing with the mental degradation of being unnoticed by the boy she loves.

Submitted: December 28, 2016

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Submitted: December 28, 2016



I sat there in the empty locker room and screamed "NOTICE ME" at the top of my lungs as my nails clawed my thighs until they were tender. Tears streamed down my face while reality settled on its unfortunate truths. Every class we share, every moment we pass, I yearn for your eyes to stray towards mine with the slightest hint of recognition. I just want to be a blip on your radar. Even for that one second, there, then gone, I would be eternally stored in the 35mm footage of your memory. Your dreams may use my face as the stranger you don't remember but you've seen before, for dreams cannot make up their own people. Dreams cannot make things become real either. I for one, know that to be so infuriatingly true. For so many nights you court me to some place I've never been, down endless hallways where lights illuminate as we pass, only to fade away in the trail of our footsteps. Our hands locked so tight I don't know where I end and you begin. We walk and walk and not a soul or noise distracts our unity while the smile on my face feels strange and foreign like it belongs to someone else. Where you are leading me and I follow without a single word so not to ruin the moment with a dumb word. A word that means nothing when silence means everything. I take a large stride and you sweep me around to the front. You lean down and kiss my lips, unapologetically. You're not worried by what others will think because there are no others to spoil this. Your lips. Your lips are the atmosphere I burn through as I enter your mouth in moment of bright then dark. My room is dark. I am awake and I know now it wasn't real. Isn't it better when we're sleeping? Sometimes I think it's better if I never wake up. You'd notice me then. I'd be the talk of the school. Everyone would claim to have been my good friend "though we didn't hang out much, we got along very well in gym class last year and I was only kidding when I directed jokes towards her." They'd sell t-shirts with my name on it and some quote that I put in my elementary school yearbook that my mom picked for me and I never truly knew the meaning to. You'd notice me then. You may even come to my wake and look at the pictures of me growing up wondering what had changed from when I was small and smiling until now. Maybe you'd cry. The tables would turn as would the world and I'd finally have what I wanted. I'd have your full, unadulterated attention. Then like the shooting star across midwestern skies I'd soar on by. You'd grow old and marry some woman who doesn't understand your genius but makes you happy. And though you'd probably never revisit the moment I appeared in your life, I'd always be there. As fast as I came, I had gone. Your fallen star. 

© Copyright 2018 Evan Saint-Laurent. All rights reserved.

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