The Truth of Being a ''Genius''.

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 01, 2017

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Submitted: January 01, 2017

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My origins were nothing of note.  My mother was a nurse, and my father was a blood technician.  There were oddities here and there in adolescence.  I was an fearful and emotional child, but more then that I was curious.  I was often found to the diswmay of my parents of taking apart anything I could to see how it functioned.  They even got more fustrated when I learned how to get through any lock.

While at school I faced daily discrimination based on the colour of my skin.  As a mixed child I never understood the concept of racism; as my parents sheilded me from it.  The cruelty of isolation at such a young age would naturally cause a fracturing in mental/emotional development.  In school my academics suffered as well.  Though, when forced to go through placement testing due to me failing each subject; I, at age 12 tested at University level mathematics, and reading.

This baffled my teachers and even more so my family.  So they tested me again, and again, and again.  Each test matching the same result as before.  They put me through therapy, consuling, and the like.  Everyone trying to get a answer.  The truth is; I just never had any interest in academics.  I comprehended anything I came across.   I was also exceedingly impatient.  Often I would read text books in the first week and finish assignments given inside the text.  I failed because I would either forget to hand them in, or just not care.

They for a period of thime also tried to put me on medication.  I either felt like a zombie, or I became violent.  I was moved from school to school due to violence and insubordination.  My home life wasn't much better.  My father with hidden jealousy of my talents and looks also became violent towards me. It became too much to bare.  I decided to quit taking my medication.  They were simple push capsules, I would unscrew them,empty out the contents, and run the sink to get rid of the evidence.

I thought I was strong enough to handle the side effects; I was wrong.  One day while walking to school I stood at a paticular corner where a driver can't see around the corner. I wanted to kill myself; and I succeeded.  I blasted my headphones and with the sweeps of guitars in the backround I closed my eyes.  There was a loud crack; then there was nothing.

 No heaven, no hell, no life passing before my eyes; there was simply nothing, and that nothingness was the most peaceful moment I have ever known.  But, then; I awoke.  I was surrounded by strangers.  And as if a parent punishing a child the first sensation I was to know again in this world would be pain. A true agonising pain which only grew with each second like mountain fire. It literally took every ounce of my soul to keep myself from going into shock.

I decided at that moment never try that again, because the pain was something I would never want to go through again.  Time passed and I grew into manhood.  I eventually passed Highschool, and even attended college.   I have lost a wife to cancer, a girlfriend to heart issues, and a little sister to drugs.  I would never take back any of those experiences with them because they made me who I am; in their own way.

I came into writing and have published many things.  Poems, Short Stories, Even a Academic Thesis in Philosophy.  Funny, the only true talent I have is making worlds I wish I could live in myself.  I often go into states of deep depression and self medicate with alocohol.   At one point I decided it would be best to seek help.   Just more test, more pointless conversations.  One of the test my therapist gave me was a strange one.  It had patterns and puzzles; It was a I.Q. test. My result was 145 a ''Genius'' result.

When I was told that I just laughed, and then I cried.  It was the last time I let myself truly cry.  What good is such a thing if it can't change anything, or bring back the people we love.  Those who meet me see me as highly charismatic, but the truth is everyday is  painful.  The world is so slow, and devoid of passion.  The people are careless, and fashion trends and propaganda are the absolutes in authority.  Let me tell you the one honest truth of being a ''Genius'':  ''The intelligent will never know happiness, and being a genius is as useful as matches in the middle of the ocean''.

Oh, and for some strange reason we are all night people and drinkers; I always found that comical.


© Copyright 2017 Gabriel Woodworth. All rights reserved.

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