The Trials and Tribulations of a New Age HELLACIOUS Groupie

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Chapter 1 (v.1) - 1

Submitted: January 05, 2017

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Submitted: January 05, 2017



The Trials and Tribulations of a New Age HELLACIOUS Groupie


I have been a huge HELLACIOUS fan my entire life. I had a stay at home father, and a lot of times when we were at home he would blast HELLACIOUS music. My first show was in Buffalo, New York in 2000, on the World Rock Tour. By the end of 2016, I will have seen the boys somewhere between 30 and 35 times. I’m only 23. HELLACIOUS has always been my life. Yeah, when I was younger they were always around, but 2011 is when things began to change.

I graduated from Samander High School in Buffalo, New York in June of 2011. My father, who lived in Minnesota at the time, called me one day a few weeks prior and said, “Guess what I got you as a graduation present?” That’s when I found out I was going on the inaugural HELLACIOUS CRUISE, hosted by Sixthman and the band themselves. I was absolutely stoked. I’d never been on a cruise, and I’d never been to the Bahamas.

One morning, my dad and I were heading from our room to the tender boat to get to shore. As we walked up the stairs, who do I see standing by the elevator but Alexander Thompson.

Before I go any further, this needs to be said. I first saw Alexander perform with HELLACIOUS on the Still Got Class Tour in 2004. Prior to that show, I didn’t have a favorite band member. When I still wore HELLACIOUS makeup to shows, it was ALWAYS the Thompson makeup. My dad always put it on for me, until I was old enough to start doing it myself.

So, I see Alexander standing by the elevator, no body guard, no nothing. I started smacking my dad in the shoulder saying, “Daddy! Look!” As best I could since I had lost my voice at the show HELLACIOUS played the day before on the pool deck. My dad pushed my arm off his shoulder and said, “Well go say hi!” My heart was pounding in my chest. I’d seen HELLACIOUS about 10 times at this point as was absolutely freaking the fuck out. I walked up to Alexander and sheepishly smiled. “…Could I have a hug?” I cracked out. He laughed and held his arms out as I turned bright red. I backed up and asked for a picture, and my voice cracked again. He gladly obliged. The rest of the first HELLACIOUS CRUISE was a blissful, drunken, blur… but I will never forget that day for the rest of my life.

HELLACIOUS CRUISE II I had the opportunity to get my picture taken with the band. Once again, I was absolutely losing my shit. Everyone had to go line up on one of the top decks and wait to go get their picture taken. My dad booked a balcony room with one of the friends we made on the first cruise, and booked me in a room with some other friends, so I was in line with them. The other three women and I all had different favorite members, so thankfully, there were no arguments as to who stood by which band member. When it was out turn, I bee lined straight to Alexander and turned around to face the camera. He leaned down over me and put his hands on my shoulders. My 19 year old heart was fluttering. My idol was touching me!

Later that night, I was sitting in the atrium drinking with my friends when Alexander’s guitar tech at the time, Jackson Berger, walked up to us. I have the word “Prost!” which means cheers in German tattooed on my upper thigh, and since Jackson is German, he came up to me and asked me about it… in German. He hung around and asked about my other tattoos. When I got to the Thompson makeup tattoo I have on my back, he asked me if I wanted to meet Alexander. I said I’d met him already, on the first cruise, so it wasn’t necessary, but thank you for the offer. To this day, I still kick myself for that.

Even LATER that night, in my drunken stupor, I wandered from the casino to the bar in the atrium to get tomato juice. Why I wanted tomato juice at 4am, I couldn’t tell you. As I was walking back to the casino, some guy stopped me to hit on me. I’d love to say this was an uncommon occurrence on the HELLACIOUS CRUISE, but when you’re young, attractive, and half the age of most HELLACIOUS fans, it’s pretty damn common. Having dealt with this multiple times before, when he asked if he could accompany me back to the casino, I responded with, “Yeah dude, whatever, I don’t own this ship.” Not getting the hint, he followed me, and because of that, I proceeded to get even more drunk. Drunk enough that when he asked me if I wanted to go back to his room to get stoned, I didn’t think twice about the actual implication and said yes.

We did, in fact, get stoned. He had some pretty damn good hash. But, because of the amount of alcohol I had ingested, and my bright idea to “get crunk,” I don’t remember anything beyond that. I woke up the next morning in a pool of my own blood. Now, that sounds far worse than it actually was… but it was still pretty bad. This guy pulled my tampon out while I was sleeping. I don’t think he fucked me, I didn’t feel any different, aside from slightly violated since he removed my tampon. I quickly called down to my dad’s stateroom and asked his girlfriend to discreetly bring me a tampon. Ten minutes later, there was a knock at his door, and not only was Rachael there, but my father was too. By far one of the most mortifying moments of my life.

HELLACIOUS CRUISE III took place in 2013. I had spent May through September of that year working at a theme park in Orlando, Florida. The preparty that my dad had been hosting every year since the first cruise had finally gotten big, and we had a lot of huge things happening. I showed up a little late, having been in Orlando earlier that morning visiting friends, but it was still a fantastic event. 2013 was the first year I was thrust into the spotlight with the party since I had to do some Emcee work, but having to work alongside my father doing this, along with the help of multiple volunteers, allowed me to become friends with multiple artists relevant in the 70s, 80s, and today. Some of the best contacts I have in the business come from working these parties.

The cruise was fun, but pretty uneventful, all in all. The fourth cruise was far better. Somehow ended up flirting with the singer from ActionPacked, a band that plays our preparty every year. The entire cruise, I was sending him sexy pictures from my penthouse stateroom. The 2014 Cruise was themed after the HELLACIOUS album, Dressed to Impress. Obviously, then, one of the theme nights was a Dressed to Impress night, and your group photo with the band was the same theme. The band was in suits to pay homage to the original Dressed to Impress album cover. My group decided to embrace the theme and dress up as well. As per the three cruises prior to this one, the closer we got to the front of the line, the more freaked out and star struck I got. When it was our turn, I bee lined to Alexander, as expected, and quickly turned around to get into position.

As we walked out of the lounge, I turned to my dad and started jumping up and down and yelling, “ALEXANDER GRABBED MY ASS!! ALEXANDER GRABBED MY ASS!!” At that moment, I didn’t think I could ever be happier. That was the first time that I ever really got it in my head that I really, truly, wanted to fuck him, not just worship him as the rock god that he is. It was also the first time I thought I maybe, possibly, by some shred of goddamn magic, that I had a chance. A slim one, but a chance nonetheless.

On the last night, a group of my friends and I were sitting at a bar on the deck above the pool. A few of the male friends are totally stuck in the 80s, but I love them for it, and hell, half the time, I’m stuck in the 80s, too. One of these guys didn’t know how to reapply his eyeliner, and the dude who was trying to do it for him was no better. As I was doing it, I hear, “Holy shit! Alexander just photobombed us!” I look up, and sure as shit, there’s Alexander, standing there with a body guard. I walked up to him and said, “Excuse me, Mr. Thompson, could I please get a picture with you?” Normally I wouldn’t ask for the picture, I liked to give them their privacy when I see them on the boat, but since he was already photobombing people, I figured it would be okay. He gladly obliged.

HELLACIOUS CRUISE V is when things really started to get kind of crazy. Of the five cruises, it was the only one where we went to the show on night one instead of night two. This was only because night one had spots in the pit still available when we booked, but two didn’t. I was okay with this, since night one’s show was on Halloween. How many people do you know that have seen a HELLACIOUS concert on Halloween, and wore a costume that WASN’T HELLACIOUS?

The process that they use for the pit is super interesting, There’s like 80 spots, and everyone is given a number 1-80, prior to sailing. When it’s time to line up, the company hosting the cruise puts signs up diving the numbers into groups of 10 people. Then they let you in, numerically, in these groups of 10. When I got in, I put myself right where I expected Alexander to be standing, and there was only one person in front of me.

It was an absolutely fantastic show, and Alexander kept staring at me all throughout. I thought I was crazy until about halfway through the show, when I was staring at him and licked my lips to wet them again after all the singing I was doing. He licked his lips too, super sexily. That’s when I knew for sure he was looking at me the whole time.

The next night was my group pictures, and after a handful of these in years prior, I was a professional. But this time I had a curveball thrown my way. When I got in position, Alexander put his hands on my hips and pulled me tight back against him. I didn’t know how to react. He then started grinding against me. At this point, I don’t think there was a coherent thought in my mind. I was in HELLACIOUS heaven. And when he started caressing the inside of my hand, I’m honestly surprised I didn’t absolutely lose my shit. This all happened so quickly that I was in complete sensory overload. You only have about 60 seconds, if that, for pictures, so I didn’t have time to process it at all. Once again, I ran outside, and starting to my dad about how Alexander was grinding on me. He rolled his eyes and said, “Now I have to kill the Thompson.”

Right around Christmas of 2015, I tagged Alexander in a tweet saying, “All I want for Christmas is an announcement that Alexander Thompson will be at the Hellacious Expo.” Much to my surprise, he tweeted back, “Let me work on that. Merry Christmas!”

Sure as shit is brown, a few months later there was an announcement that Alexander was going to be at the expo. I immediately went to go take off work, and was told I couldn’t. That weekend was graduation weekend, and we were going to get absolutely slammed. I was heartbroken. My dad was going to be there, and it was on his birthday, too. Alexander aside, I was extremely disappointed that I wasn’t able to go and see my dad.

The night before the expo, my dad called me and told me to keep my phone on me the next day. I assumed he was going to just take pictures and send them to me. Instead, I got a message saying “Calling you shortly. Be sure to answer.” When my phone rang, I stepped outside the kitchen and picked up.

“Hello?” “Rebecca, I’ve got someone who wants to talk to you.” “Okay….?” I was a bit confused but went along with it. “…Becca?” My eyes went wide. “Alexander…?” “Yeah! Hey! Where are you today? Why aren’t you here?” That was it. A shit eating grin spread across my face. “Stuck at work. I cook at one of the top restaurants in Buffalo, and this weekend is graduation weekend, so I’m stuck here.” I replied. “Oh, I’m sorry, that really sucks. Well, I wish you were here!” Alexander responded.

Now, I forgot to mention a couple things. One is that HELLACIOUS announced the 2016 School’s Out Tour dates on April 8, 2016, also known as my birthday. The presale was four days later, and my dad got me tickets to the Buffalo show for my birthday. In addition to that, a few days prior to the expo, I had tweeted saying that I heard Alexander was offering kisses for a $1000 donation to the Oregon Military Museum, and asked if he’d kiss me for a smaller donation. The day before the expo, he retweeted me, saying “Of course, Becca! ;)” Okay, back to our phone conversation.

“I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing, and why you weren’t here.” “Ha, thanks Alexander. Hey! Real quick before you go… how much did you want for that kiss?” I asked, coyly. He laughed, and in a damn sultry tone I can’t forget said, “That’s negotiable…” I thanked him for checking in and happily wandered back inside to finish my shift.

Fast forward to August 7, 2016. I was at the end of my shift and hauling ass to get off work to get to the hotel the roadies and techs were staying at to drink with them. I had recently started talking to Jack’s bass tech after pocket adding him a few weeks earlier, and he invited me to the hotel, so there I was. And you know who else was there? The creepy roadie from HELLACIOUS CRUISE II who pulled my tampon out. I talked to him and played nice for the sake of the evening. But he’s not my favorite person, even still.

When the hotel bar closed around midnight, Jack’s tech, Redd, one of the lighting guys, Sean, and I were gonna leave to hit up a dive bar. Redd got stuck talking to this chick who knew him from a Sixx AM tour that was basically stalking him, so Sean and I went to the bar instead. I ended up way more drunk than I ever intended to be that night, and ended up screwing Sean. He woke me up the next morning to tell me that he had to leave for bus call, but that I could sleep as long as I needed to. I ended up going downstairs to smoke a cigarette, and when I got back upstairs, I saw Redd had messaged me about some shit that had gone down with the creepy stalker chick after Sean and I had left the night prior. I went up there, we talked about what happened with her, and the next thing I know, I’m bouncing up and down on his dick. We finish up, he leaves for bus call, and I went to take care of all the shit I needed to do before the show that night.

A few hours later, as I’m getting ready to go to the show, I get a message from Redd saying he managed to score me passes to get my photo taken with the band before the show. I finished getting ready and went to meet up with my out of town friends to drink before the show.

I was pretty tipsy by the time I got to the Stanley Center that night. I drank three Mike’s Hard Lemonades after three double vodka cranberries. Suffice to say, come photo time, I was extremely tanked. I don’t remember it at all, and it’s a horrible picture. After the show, I was standing in the aisle with a friend of mine trying to figure out what we were doing next… drinking or eating more. As we were contemplating, Craig Kenneth, the guy who runs the HELLACIOUS site and the HELLACIOUS Twitter and facebook pages walked up to my friend and I and said “Hey! Follow me!” and took us backstage.

Craig told us to stand in a specific part of the backstage area so we didn’t get run over, and that we were going to wait and see if the guys came out. A few minutes passed, or that’s what it felt like since I was still kind of drunk, and then I saw Sam, Jack, and Eric slip out a side door. I went back to talking to my friend, and then turned around again to see Keith standing there talking to Alexander. I freaked out a little bit. Then I saw Craig point at me. I freaked out a little bit more. When Alexander, standing there in only a bathrobe, waggled his finger at me in a “come hither” motion, I damn near lost it. I gave him a huge, and he kissed my cheek and grabbed my ass.

Ok, this time I knew I wasn’t crazy.

If I remember correctly, he asked me how I was doing and how I liked the show. I told him I was good and that I enjoyed it as always. I do remember that we sat down on a table and he asked what my plans for the night were, all the while rubbing my back. I told him I was pretty sure we were gonna go eat with Craig. He said if he got done at the venue early enough, he might come join us. I was ecstatic.

When we got to the restaurant, I tweeted Alexander and told him to message Craig about where to go if he did in fact decide to come out. Dinner finished rather uneventfully and my friend and I went back to my house to get stoned. As we’re sitting there smoking and recapping the night and how cool it was to go backstage, my phone vibrates with a message from Craig.

“Alexander is asking for your phone #”

My heart damn near stopped. What? Lil’ ole me?!

I gave Craig my number and said “You better not be joking Craig!” He said he wasn’t but I figured I’d believe it when I saw it. Three minutes later, my phone vibrated again with a text message from an unknown number bearing a Los Angeles area code. The message?

“hi Becca, its Alexander”

This time I DID lose it. I couldn’t stop repeating “Oh my god!” I quickly messaged him back. “Oh hey! I hate to sound like an asshole but is this really you?” “Ha, yes!” “Oh it was really awesome seeing you guys tonight!” “What are you up to?” “Nothing. Nothing more important than you.” “How far from the Marriott are you?” “About five minutes.” “You should come over” “Seriously?” “Yes!” “Ok. Let me drop my friend at the hotel and I’ll be right over.” I jumped up, grabbed my backpack, and looked at my friend. “I’m taking you to the hotel. Now.”

After I dropped him off, I went to the wrong Marriott. I only knew because Alexander called and told me so. Up until that point, I’d still been a little skeptical that it was actually him, but as soon as I answered that phone call, I knew for sure. I quickly drove to the right hotel and ran inside. I looked up, and there he was. Sitting in the main foyer, lounged slightly stretched out, chin on his hand, staring at the door. He was waiting for me.

I gave him another hug, which would not be the last of the night, and we went upstairs.

Within seconds of getting to his room and setting my bag down, we were making out. Every single one of my nerve endings was on fire. My idol was standing there making out with me! What the fuck! He pulled back and started rubbing my arms. “I’m sure you know we’ve both been meaning for this to happen for a long time…” I giggled like a school girl and of course, cue hug. I was trying really hard, okay!?! He laughed, said, “You are such a sweetheart! Do you wanna go take a bath?”

Who the fuck am I to say no to Alexander Thompson?

As quickly as we were naked, I was on my knees with his cock in my mouth and his hand resting at the base of my skull. After a bit of a tease, I wandered to the bathroom with him in tow. We turned the tub on, and while waiting for it to warm up and fill up, he bent me over the bathroom counter and fucked me from behind. I distinctly remember looking up at the mirror in front of me and not believing my eyes. Here I was, completely naked, bent over a bathroom countertop in a hotel room in downtown Buffalo with my idol, who happens to be the lead fucking guitarist in HELLACIOUS, of all bands, is completely naked, behind me, railing the fuck out of me. I don’t even think there is a word to fully encompass exactly how I felt in the moment, but part of me felt invincible.

After we finally got in the tub, we were sitting there, curled up together, just talking, while I was idly playing with his cock. I hugged him… again… goddamn I was drunk…. And quickly sat up. “I’m sorry, I have to fan girl for a second here. You have literally been my favorite HELLACIOUS member since I first saw you on Still Got Class when I was 11. This is ridiculously surreal to me right now. When you were rubbing the inside of my hand during the group picture on the cruise last year, I thought I was delusional.” He laughed and pulled me back down into his chest. “No, you weren’t delusional, and I hope it was okay that I did that.” I told him it was and turned around to kiss him. He grabbed the soap and we both stood up to soap each other up and down. It was surprisingly romantic, actually. Of course, from my experiences with him on the cruises, and my friends’ experiences with him in various places, I’ve always thought he was a class act. We rinsed each other off and stepped out of the tub. In another romantic gesture, we proceeded to towel each other off and wander to the bed.

We get to the bed, and it was mostly a blur…. Missionary, doggy style, reverse cow girl, plain old me riding him, so on and so forth. But it was absolutely fantastic. As that part of the night came to an end, Alexander pulled out and shot his load all over the Thompson tattoo.

Oh yes. He did.

After helping me clean up, we got to talking again. He asked if I was single, to which I said yes, that I’d gotten out of a really shitty relationship about six months prior. He then told me, “Just so you know, I don’t want this to be a one night stand. I have fun, but I don’t really sleep around.” I don’t remember what I responded, but it was something to the effect of “Well good! That’s good to know!” I think. I proceeded to tell him that I had gotten time off work to go to the Bridgeport, Connecticut show, and that I was going to buy my tickets the following week. He said, “Don’t worry about it. I will take care of everything for you.” My jaw dropped and I told him no, absolutely not, I wanted to pay. We went back and forth a couple times until he insisted that I let him take care of it. Defeated, I agreed. We talked a bit more before I got dressed and headed for the door. As he and I walked toward the door of the room, he turned to me and said, “Maybe on the cruise we can sneak away… now that we’re friends and have each other’s numbers we can talk whenever we want, too. I’m in town tomorrow, so maybe we can hang out if I’m feeling up to it. Are you parked somewhere safe?” I smiled. “I’m off work tomorrow so yeah maybe we can hang out. And yeah, I’m parked a half a block away, I’ll be fine.” “Alright, have a good night then, send me a text in the morning!” He then kissed me, and sent me on my way.

You best bet when that elevator door closed I did a happy dance.

A few days later, I decided I was going to go to the Rockford, Illinois show on August 20, 2016. I shot Alexander a text telling him of my plans, and that I’d be buying my tickets the following week, and would let him know where I would be sitting. Once again, he insisted on taking care of everything. I grudgingly allowed it.

As August 20th came closer, I began to get worried as to whether or not Alexander would actually come through for me or not. I figured he would, but how foolish would I have looked being in another state for a HELLACIOUS show that I couldn’t get into?

Two days before the Rockford show, I sent Alexander a text asking if he was still intending on doing that for me. He said yes, he was, and that he would leave two tickets and two passes to the acoustic show, meet and greet, and photo. I thanked him and continued to pack.

The morning of the show, when my brother and I were driving through some really nasty rainstorms on the way to Rockford, I got a text from Alexander telling me where the passes were and the phone number of Alan Crass, who I should call if I had any issue getting in.

My brother and I got to the venue and waited with the other meet and greet people. When they let us in, they asked us to have the ID of whoever’s name the package was reserved under handy. I handed Alan my ID and he goes, “Oh! I just saw your name!” I sheepishly smiled, gathered all my meet and greet swag, and waited for them to let us upstairs. After we got up there, we waited around a little longer before the band appeared. They all came down along the barrier and shook hands or fist bumped everyone. When Alexander got to me, his face lit up, and he said “Oh hey!” and fist bumped me. If you ever find yourself in a situation where you are discussing if it is awkward to fist bump someone you’ve slept with, the answer is yes. If anyone ever tells you different, they’re lying to you.

Throughout the entire show, Alexander kept looking at me and smiling real big and extremely sexily, which in turn made me do the same. At the end of the show, we all lined up for the guys to sign our merchandise. I had everyone sign my arm, and when I asked Alexander to sign it, he looked me dead in the eye and said, “Why don’t I do that later?” I smirked at him and agreed. We left the signing and went back to the hotel so I could change and we could drink a little bit more.

When we got back to the venue for the picture, it was a race against the clock. The line was long as hell, and was all being funneled into one entrance. We needed to be in line by 8:15, and we made it inside by 8:08.

We cycled through the picture line, I was by Alexander, he was happy as hell to see me, it’s all old news at this point. He tucked me into his arm and held onto me nice and tight. As I was walking out, he spanked me. It was great.

The show passed rather uneventfully, and I didn’t meet up with Alexander that night because, as I understand it, HELLACIOUS politics happened and he had to deal with that. That’s okay. The band comes first. I mean, yeah, I was disappointed, but it won’t be the last time that happens, so it’s okay. It needed to happen. He did text me the next morning though. He asked if I planned on getting the autographs on my arm tattooed. I responded with “Hellllll no. I hate that. I have enough HELLACIOUS autographs I just finished out my backpack and got my arm signed.” He responded, “Good, I’m glad to hear that. You’re such a beautiful girl, and I think those kinds of tattoos don’t look good.” I thanked him and he responded, “You’re a beautiful girl, tattoos or no tattoos.” I sent him one more message right before we left to go back to Buffalo that said “I don’t know if you liked the mesh shirt I changed into before the photo, but just in case, here’s a lasting image.” Twenty minutes later….

“Love the pics. Maybe you can send me something sexy later?”

I sent him a couple before I had to go to work and promised to send more when I got off. I stayed true to my word, and we teased each other most of the night. The next night we were sexting, and he was asking when I wanted to ride his cock again, and saying he wished he was with me so he could fuck me hard. We have plans to fuck again in Bridgeport in a few weeks, and again on the cruise in November. I’m so excited, but we’ll see how this groupie works for me.

Until then, I’m off to take more pictures for Alexander.


© Copyright 2018 Rebecca Jadofsky. All rights reserved.


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