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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 13, 2017

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Submitted: January 13, 2017



In a candlelit room, with music lightly playing in the background, she writes, as tears roll

down her cheeks.

Thinking of him, hoping that In that same moment he's thinking of her too.

At that moment nothing in the world mattered.

Her heart was so heavy, she was unsure of how to free it.

She hoped he'd call or text, write or show up, but everyday she found herself still alone,

wishing and hoping for the same thing as the day before.

Everyday felt more intense than the day before.

How could she continue to wear this mask ?

To lie to herself and everyone around her and pretend like she was fine, like she was happy.

Then to go home alone and cry, cry herself to sleep, cry in the shower, cry while watching


Trying to convince herself that eventually it'll get better, even though eventually felt like

never. Not even knowing how to ease her own pain.

Everything she did made her more distraught, everything reminded her of their past.

When would the curse come to an end ?!

Nothing was working, alcohol was only worsening the agony.

Nothing/no one could make the hurt stop. She was too afraid of suicide, so the only attempt

she ever tried was only to watch herself bleed and hope all the pain would be gone after she

stopped bleeding.

Never knew she'd ever be at this point in her life.

All she seen was darkness and swear in that time of need she literally danced with the devil


She once stared into the eyes of a man who was not human.

All she thought was "would I ever overcome this".

She cried so much, she really didn't understand how it was possible for her to still have tears


She never felt more alone in her life.

Everyday all she thought was "what was it that I did to bring this on myself?"

She forever blamed herself, even when things weren't her fault she still took blame for it all.

She neglected her own personal needs, her own conscious and everything she once believed in.

Life was no longer life, and life damn sure didn't mean a thing without him.

All she could remember was everything he'd ever said to her and how good she used to feel.

Memories on playback. How could she live ?

All she wanted was to forget.

She just knew from that point on, she'd never feel good enough for anyone ever again, no

matter what she did/didn't do or gave up.

Seemed like nothing ever counted good or bad.

In reality all she longed for was love.

She yearned for acceptance.

Hoping to be good enough for whoever said next that they loved her, needed no one else and

meant it.

She was ready for that hole in her heart to be filled. Ready for someone to show her that

everyone isn't the same.

In the end nothing could ever compare.

© Copyright 2018 Doria sanders. All rights reserved.

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