I Watched the Sky Move

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A girl who reminisces on the feelings she has for a boy who is no longer in her life.

(Based on true events about a friend of mine who said I could write about this! Added a lot more into it and changed the names and such :) )

Submitted: January 18, 2017

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Submitted: January 18, 2017

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I watched the sky move.

My eyes gazed in awe at the beautiful shades of blue and white collide with the yellow and orange of the sun descending from its pedestal.

Everything was happening so fast, so sudden. And I couldn’t stop it.

It moved steadily, fearless.

 

The world moves quickly. You blink once and suddenly the moment you once knew is gone. Like sand slipping through your fingers. Then, before you know it, another moment occurs and the one previously is left behind. You anxiously try to savor it again, but to comprehend that you won’t be able to grasp it like you did before is impossible. Nothing but a memory.

 

We develop more and more memories - about people, about places, things, events. Life doesn’t slow down - it won’t ever slow down; it keeps going.

No matter how much we plead, no matter how much we cry or pray, in the end, it’s hopeless. And I would know. I’ve pleaded and cried and prayed more than anyone.

I let my hand feel the rush of air from out the window. The breeze engulfed each finger as it intertwined itself between each crease.

Someone came into my life and left as quickly as he came. He is now only but a memory that lives on in my mind forever. One of the hardest things to understand is that memories and moments don’t change. But people do. Instantly.

“Hey, Tessa, mind giving me a ride home after we finish setting up?”

“Yeah, Beau! No problem!”

“Thanks!” He flashed me a smile of appreciation.

I blushed. “You’re welcome.” I took my keys from the table. “I finished everything here so just meet me out by my car when you’re done.”

“Okay,” He replied, setting up a few more chairs.

I stole a sharp look at my crush. Beau, a junior boy who worked with me as an assistant. Beau, the most incredible being I’ve ever met and have grown to truly care about. He’s unlike any football player or jock I’ve ever talked to. And I loved him. I smiled at the pure thought of him before turning around and rushing out the door.

I walked out of the building and to my car. I take my time unlocking its door before opening it and disappearing inside.

Moments later, a hand reached for the handle on the passenger side and fidgeted to get the door open.

I laughed and smiled at Beau’s adorable, silly face.

“So this is just an option, but my brother has a basketball game at the sport arena right now. If you want, you can drop me off over there or you can even stay and watch the game for a while too.” He remarked, taking a seat inside the car and shutting the door with a loud “slam”.

“Of course!! I mean, I get distracted with sports so it’ll be pretty hard for me to not want to watch.” I continued to try and find the words to say. Instead, I looked at him, witnessing a beautiful smile appear across his face.

“Perfect!”

And from there, the car ride was filled with laughs, smiles, crazy music jam sessions, an almost accident on someone’s bumper, and the most meaningful compliment I’ve ever received.

“What?” I laughed.

“I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you. You’re weird, you’re different, you’re beautiful, you’re unique.” He said with a charming smile and blue eyes gleaming.

“Aw thank you! You’re pretty weird too!” I laughed awkwardly.

After another twenty minutes or so of laughing some more and missing the wrong exit, we arrive at the sport arena. I got out and walked inside with him. I stayed for a little while, watched the game, talked with both of his parents and his other siblings, and decided that I should get going.

“Are you sure you don’t want to use my phone or Beau’s?” His mom said.

“Aw thank you so much! It’s okay! My phone is just being weird. I’ll find my way home!” I replied. But what I never told them at the time was that I had no clue on where to go from there nor how to get home.

“I’ll walk her out.” Beau said to his mom.

“It was so nice to see you again!” I smiled. “I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“You will! I won’t be there with Selena till the end but I love to go and see the ending!” His mom smiled.

“Okay, well thank you so so much!!” I began to walk away, repeating a similar “thank you” and “see you” spill to his sister and father.

Beau walked me to my car, said goodbye and left. As I started my car and backed up, I had rammed into another person’s car. This man came out yelling and screaming at me, swearing hysterically. I remember not knowing what to do nor how to handle anything. I got scared and small as this man continued to bully me and scare me. Moments later, I see Beau coming back, concerned. When he looked at me and noticed tears were about ready to stream down my face, he took hold of the situation. He comforted me.

With open arms, he took hold of me. My small frail body against his much taller and muscular frame. He squeezed me for so long - I wanted it to last forever. I was shaken, scared, and unstable. But that hug evaporated all of the tears I thought would fall. Someone really cared about me that much. I returned his hug, digging my face into his chest. The warmth of his body was overwhelming. I had never felt so safe and secure with someone else in my life.

After a few minutes, I released his hug.

“I’m going to pull it back into the spot and turn it off,” I remarked. I walked back over, gazing at my car that was now in ruins. A million thoughts flooded my mind, including how horrified my Dad would be with me. I carefully opened the door, took a seat in the front, and shifted the gear into drive. I pulled back into the spot I was in and braked, turning the key, and the car slept peacefully. I looked over at Beau who was beginning to walk towards me. As he approached the car, my heart began skipping beats. My face was flushed and hot. I look away from him. I didn’t want him to see me. I just wanted to disappear.

“I can’t believe that just happened.” I said, staring at the steering wheel of my car. I proceeded to avert his gaze. I shifted my position from the driver’s seat so my legs would dangle out the side of my car. My hands shaking, my head down.

Beau took one arm and leaned it on top of the car where the door is. “Hey, look at me.”

I shook my head. “No,”

“Tessa, look at me.”

The minute I raised my eyes - sullen and glazed from fear - I lost all sense of self. His piercing blue eyes could see right through me. Every single secret, every worry, every fear I’ve ever had - I was completely transparent to him. Never have I ever looked into someone’s eyes so deeply.

His parents came over once Beau gave them a call. His Mom comforted me as Beau and his Dad talked to the outraged man. They managed to calm the man down and he began to cooperate.

“My dad said your car should be okay to drive since it wasn’t a whole lot of damage. Thank goodness no one was hurt. It’s good that your first car crash wasn’t out on the road.” He paused. “Do you want me to drive you home?” Beau asked.

“Ah, no it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” I said, lying.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” He repeated, clearly not convinced by my response.

“Yes,” I said, handing him my keys, eyes low.

He opened the car door and hopped in the front seat. I took a long breath before proceeding to open the passenger door and find comfort in the safety of my car, where I could avert contact from everyone and everything. I rolled the window down and look up to the sky as the car backed out of the parking space. Then, slowly but confidently, the car braced itself and marched forward. The wind of the slow movement began to engulf my hand and let the air brush against it warmly.  

Beau began to take quick glances, checking to make sure I was okay. After a few moments of this continued, he took my hand and let his fit into mine. It was like placing the final piece of a puzzle into place, carefully settling itself to complete the coveted picture.

I jumped in my chair and turned my attention towards him. Shocked, I smiled, squeezed his grip, and returned my focus to the streets passing by. Like how life does. Passes by without stopping. So fast that you don’t have a chance to really cherish it.

The lights of the city we both loved passed by as we drove faster and faster. Till they were nothing but streaks of blur and color. And beautifully, they blended together, forming shades I never knew had existed.

I watched the sky as it continued to move.

Still so fast, so sudden.

Calm and confident.

With him by my side.

Smiling as brightly as all the stars in the sky.

I look up to the dark, pitch black sky. The sparkling stars were scattered across it, each glimmering with their own elegance. My hand - it reached up to touch them, to take them. I, for so long, wanted to hold onto something, anything. But I found myself empty-handed, completely unable to grasp onto it.

Someone once told me, “Our whole lives - we want to find happiness. That’s the only thing that will bring us fullness. But it won’t just come to you. You know, you’ve gotta work for it. So tonight before you go home and put your head on your pillow and shut your eyes, think about what’s going to make you happy. Figure out what will bring you happiness in this life and then once you do that, go after it.”

And that’s when it hit me a year later.

Beau, you helped me to be the happiest I’ve been so far in my 19 years. I want to feel the happiness I felt with you. I want to figure out that feeling again. So, I am not going to chase after you because if I do that, I’m shutting out every possibility life brings to me. Whether you will be apart of my life or not yet I don't know. But I do know I trust God and I trust His plan. And something deep in my heart tells me that I'm meant for something more. I can't say I know what it is because I don't - I just feel something.

So I watched the sky move. I watched as it changed color and how it blended together. And how fast it went and how quickly it passed. I watched how fast you came and you left.

I have my whole life to find that happiness.

That’s a pretty long time.

I really want you to be apart of my happiness but only if I can be apart of yours.

I hope one day you’ll watch the sky move.

Maybe you’ll find that we both live under the same one.

Maybe you'll find that you made a huge mistake. Or maybe you won't.

I want nothing to do with you anymore. 

Because there's something out there for me.

There's someone out there for me.

And I'm going to find it.

I'm going to find him.


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