things we could never forget

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
this is a book of poems all about my life. some of them i very sad.

Submitted: January 19, 2017

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Submitted: January 19, 2017

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Things we could never forget

A book of Poems

By Jewel Zordel













 

Chapter One

 

In the Darkness

When I see close my eyes,

I see his face.

I smell his breath.

I feel his hands touch my body.

I can’t breath.

I can’t scream.

I can’t move away.

When I close my eyes,

My body is shaking.

My heart is racing, I try to push the thought away, Try not to see his face.

 

Pain In Her Eyes

Run, run, run.

As fast as you could go.

Don’t let them hurt you,

Don’t them near you.

 

Hide, hide, hide.

Don’t let them see you.

Don’t let them hear you.

 

Scream, scream, scream.

Don’t let them get you.

 

Fight, fight, fight.

Try to get away.

Try to run away.

 

Kick, kick, kick.

Try to get them away.

Try to stop the pain.

 

Cry, cry, cry.

Let the tears fall,

But don’t yourself fall with them.  













 

 Little Girl

There is a little girl,

She doesn’t know who she is,

And doesn’t know where she is going to go.

So confused about everything.

Sh has wanted to die,

Wanted to say goodbye.

She’s a lost girl.

Wanting to fly far and wide.

Be a bird.

Fly beyond the seas,

Beyond the horizons.

 

Only to have an elephant by her side.

She runs away from judgement,

And heartache.

Running away from her pain.

 

Lost within her own mind,

She doesn’t know how to escape.

She is battling herself.

Pushing others away.

Fighting the demons clawing at her mind.

 

She doesn’t know where she is going.

She is trying to find home.

Thing is she doesn’t know she is already there.,

She has only made herself lost.

 

She tries to run away from the pain that chases her.

She doesn’t know she has to face it face on.

She doesn’t know she isn’t alone.

But she will soon know.

 

She is fearless and strong.

She has people all around her.

If only she can fathom right now how far she will go.

Going beyond.

Reaching new heights.

 

Once she is not longer  little girl anymore,

She will see.

See how different her life will be.

I know this because that girl was me

 

 Why Do You Do this to Me?

You are my mom,

But you treat me other than your daughter.

You beat me and curse at me.

Why do you do this to me?

You have said you love me.

But why do you treat me this way?

Treat me like I am nothing,



 

Light Above

I see a girl,

She is sprinting faster than air.

The warm breeze hitting her face.

Her arm is running with bright crimson.

She looks behind herself as if someone was following her in the dark of night.

She runs with greater speed afraid of what she sees.

They are chasing after her;

Claws and fangs drawn.

She screams trying to hide.

They know every step she takes.

She weeps she is afraid.

They say words of evil.

As a light shows up above.

They all fanish.

And she is left at peace.


 

Tears

I have tears streaming down my eyes,

I don’t know how to get you out of my mind.

I tell you I love you,

But you seem not to hear me.

You only care about getting your next high.

You don’t care about anyone except your dealer.

You go missing not caring about the pain you cause.

You let your demons control you.

You’re a puppet to them controlling you every step of the way.

Your demons have their claws around you,

Whispering lies in your head.

I’m pleading you to look into my eyes.

Be the true strong woman you are.

Turn away from what controls you.

Follow me; it’s your choice.

But why am I pleading to you,

You can’t hear me.

And now I have tears streaming down my eyes.








 

He Took Me Home

Sitting waiting for someone or something to go by.

I sit here pondering how no one could see this.

Flowers are always in bloom and the sky is always blue.

The only sounds are the birds in the air.

And the breeze rustling in the trees leaves.

But sometimes I sit here alone;

The animals don’t come out to play.

I’m feeling sad with nothing to keep me company.

I cry and scream, I’m running.

I’m running back to reality.

My body and lungs scream

But I only keep going.

I’m running, and running.

I won’t stop till I am back.

I don’t want to be sad anymore.

Don’t want to be lost and lonely.

I am running, running in circles,

Lost I fall to the ground.

And I sit in silence

I cry feeling so alone.

Only as I feel a hand touch my shoulder.

Rising feeling frightened.

I see a man and He opens his arms as for embrace.

Going into his arms I am no longer alone.

And he takes me home.

And I no longer sit in silence.

I am no longer alone.

 

The Guitar is my New Skin

When I strum a guitar,

It is an attachment to my voice.

It speaks for me when no words come out.

When I play the guitar it expresses how I feel.

It cries for me when tears can’t fall,

And it screams for me when I have no voice.

When I play how I feel; it is felt by the listener.

A guitar is an attachment to my body.

Releasing sound,

Becoming my skin.





Alone

She is all alone,

She digs in the bathroom cabinet.

Taking ambien downing them fast.

She goes in her room alone.

Feeling her heart slow and she feels no pain.

Waking up she swears in the air.

She tries to be normal.

Trying to be happy,

She puts a smile on her face.

She thinks no one sees how strange she could be.

But she tries and tries.

She walks in front of cars.

Not caring about a thing.

She takes a knife in the bathroom,

She sees blood escape her body.

She feels too much pain.

She ties to suffocate herself  but someone came in the room.

How do I know all of this you may ask?

Because that girl was me.

And the reason I never died is because there was always someone there watching me.

Looking down from above.

Only as for He has a purpose for me.

I won’t let that go away.  And no one to take it.

 

The Guitar is my New Skin

When I strum a guitar,

It is an attachment to my voice.

It speaks for me when no words come out.

When I play the guitar it expresses how I feel.

It cries for me when tears can’t fall,

And it screams for me when I have no voice.

When I play how I feel; it is felt by the listener.

A guitar is an attachment to my body.

Releasing sound,

Becoming my skin.

 

Without Sound

Silence is like not being able to feel.

The waves of music not to be heard.

No pounding of the heart following the beat of the base.

No excitement for the next beat.

Not being able to hear to me would like not being here.








 

Pain Beyond  Awareness

I still smile even when my heart is aching.

I put on a brave face because don’t want any sympathy.

I say I am okay even though reversed I feel that I am suffering.

The agony that is within; makes me bellow.

Although you have a paddle in your hand.

What I am always aware of the excruciating torment I feel inside.

The distress you cause me is a mental wound.

Although you are the one that abuses me I inflict my own pain.

Your physical beating are nothing compared to my mental pain.

A pain I do not know how to rid myself from.

To be free, would be more valuable than gold.

Letting go will be like opening my eyes for the first time in a long time.

Mother you have me in an entrapment with your own demons.

I am wrenching away.

Taking my life back,

Leaving you behind.

My past anguish far behind me.

I am stitching myself back together.

Ridding myself of you. Cause, all you do is cause pain beyond awareness And now as moments pass I am free.

 

La Vie Est Belle

Life is beautiful,

Life is great.

Look all around you and see;

See all the wonderful wonders all around you.

The flowers over there,

And the dew in the air.

Hearing the waves crashing against the shore’s rocks.

Soaking your feet,

Your feet sinking in the sand.

Looking at the lush vibrant grass,

Grass as soft as rabbits fur.

Looking at the sky so giant and blue.

Looking all around you.

Thinking to yourself

‘La vie est belle  ‘Tis, this is true.  



Beating Myself Up

I try to let go of everything that has happened.

I beat myself up.

Feel as if it was all of my fault.

How do I change this?

How do I change myself, I would always think.

Think and wonder why do I beat myself up about things so small.

Beat myself about nothing.

 

Without Sound

Silence is like not being able to feel.

The waves of music not to be heard.

No pounding of the heart following the beat of the base.

No excitement for the next beat.

Not being able to hear to me would like not being here.

 


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