The urge

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 19, 2017

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Submitted: January 19, 2017



The urge, it consumed him, it spoke with seducing words. He knew it well, it was the same every time. It caressed his conscience, still managing to sound reasonable. What was one exception after all? Just one more time and then he could stay true to his promise. Just the last time. But he knew. If he gave in now, as usual, it was not going to be the last time... far from it: it would simply become more difficult to resist, in the coming days. That was the case now too. The moment he has doubts, he reminded himself, was the moment he was going to fail. He started to think about it.. so strange.. after all he should be able to control his thoughts and desires. Yet this urge, knew him well, because it was a part of him, and so it knew his weaknesses and how to convince him, how to compromise. In view of this, resisting was an already lost game. Even its seemingly present losing state was probably just an illusion.. to what end? Indeed. The thing is, he didn't really want to hold on, he liked the feeling when the urge overcame him, sad as it may be. Overall he knew he couldn't win and that he couldn't ask for help. He also knew he could wait, until someone happened to come across his way, and then the urge may disappear for some time, be suppressed, replaced by more real thoughts, more real needs. To eventually return, of course, but still some peace is always better than relentless pushing and pulling. Thus he waited, hoping to hear steps in the distance, hoping, while keeping it at bay, hoping, while knowing victory was impossible.

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