"Eya Gowt Sumpin Ta Saya!"

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
Earle Edgar Nekk is back, and he's got plenty to say!

Submitted: January 19, 2017

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Submitted: January 19, 2017



"This is reporter Blaine Charles, for WFTY Television in Jimmyville, I'd like you to watch this interview, filmed in an undisclosed location, in which I interviewed disgraced former governor Earle Edgar Nekk. I was a surprised as anyone to receive a phone call from Ex-Governor Knekk, who agreed to this interview, because, he says, he wanted to say something. So, without further ado, I present this exclusive interview with Ex-Governor Nekk:


"This is Blaine Charles reporting for WFTY Television, and I'm here with disgraced former governor, Earle Edgar Nekk--hello, disgraced Ex-Governor Nekk."


"Whayat, Disgrayased? Thiss isa awtaak jurnolisum, Eye aint diyasgrayed, ya pis-pour, sory exguise fer a libarel, buyassed jayakayes. Yer da owenly sow-cawelled reepoorter wo's nayam Eye culd amemor owef-hayand, ass Eye tooned da uthers owat, buyat ifn ya donut wayent da frikin iyentravew, Eyed bee mor dan hapy ta giv iyat ta sumbuddy eyeles!"


"No, I want to hear what you have to say."


"Weyel, owekay, ifn ya poligyes fer sayin dat disgrayased shiet."


"I apologize to anyone who might disagree, or was offended, by my calling you 'disgraced,' governor."


"Dats mor lyk iyat. Owekay, Firss owef, Iyed lyke ta say, afour you bomblste mee wid yer assonine questons, dat Eyma dishartend two heer sow mani peepl bichen an complanen bowt dis Trumpe gui bein lecktid--juss shuwat yer py howels! Eyea meen, Amarka wayas les dan grate, an hees prowamist ta mayk iyat grate gain, nnoww Etyea ass ya, watyats wroweng wid dat?"


"I'd just like to ask the governor, why he thinks America was less-than-great?'


"Dayam, da you gow agane, ya lybaral baserd, inurupin me, lyke mi stayatmint aint importint!"


"Well, Governor, I'm sure our viewers want to hear why America is no longer great?"


"Acaws Trumpe sayad sow, owaka, an wat Doweneld Ja Trumpe sayas, ya kin tayak tew da bayank. Beesydes, iwat sayes sow ryt owen hys hawat, an wud hee puwet iyat dare unles iyat wer tru?"


"It's just a meaningless slogan to win votes, Governor."


"Buwalsheit! Ya Lybarawal aleets juss kayant axsept da fawakt dat yewal towek iyay inn da shorets, awaen lawest. Dares a neew sherif iwen towen, an yewal kin suyak itt! Wee one, an yall lawest, deel wid iyat!"


"The way you just said that is demeaning to Democratic voters, and is the reason no reasonable, constructive dialog is possible anymore."


"Two friken bayad, an two dowes owev ya woo miyat bee defended, I gowet sumpin fer ya!"


"Governor, that's childish and rude."


"Wats dat? Yew saa ya kant heer iyat? Weyal den, leyat mee turen iyat uyap fer ya! Eaw, huw, huwah!"


"Governor Nekk, that is inappropriate and rude, besides making you look like an elementary school bully."


"Dayats iyat, dis dam iwenerveew iyas ovar, Eye ayant dewin nutten da presdent eleckt ayant dun, iffen ya dowent lyk iyat, yawl kin kiyes myy ayes!"


"Well Governor Nekk, would you like to say anything else?"


"Owa, Eyea gess, Eyed juss lyk tew saya, 'tewmarow, biches!"



"Well, there you have it, a stark reminder of just why a man of such limited intelligence should never be elected to office, although, if president, why not governor? This is Blaine Charles reporting for WIFTY Television."









© Copyright 2017 Mike S.. All rights reserved.

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