Diary of a Clairvoyant

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
Some people turn dreams into reality; some people dream of reality.

Submitted: January 20, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: January 19, 2017





Time log entry 9/15/xx

I only started this journal today. Sometimes, I’ll write about my events; sometimes, I’ll forget, and then I’d have to record everything on the next entry. To be completely honest, having clairvoyant power sucks. A LOT. You lose all expectation, it’s just repetition of whatever you’ve done or will be done, almost like a predetermination sort of thing, something you just can’t change for better or worse. Final destination-type shit, if you know what I mean, except I don’t die (I haven’t seen myself die yet so I have no clue). It’s almost as if you can’t change how the gears of fate would turn. If my dream sucks, life would suck too. It’s almost like groundhog day but reliving everyday twice over. The only upside to this is that you can do everything with twice as fast because you’ve already lived “tomorrow” and you can’t change the outcome. For example: If I take a test, no matter how much I study the morning after, I will never get full score on it. Why the heck not? Well, that’s because dreams are extremely blurry. You can never fully memorize exactly what you dream about the morning after. Specific things such as test questions slip from your mind. You don’t get to remember everything until you feel it, kinda like Deja Vu.

I woke up today…again…and I saw myself in the bedside mirror (again). I should start omitting that word, it’ll get annoying when I read this back to myself, if I ever do. I’m holding this book, wearing my white sleeping t-shirt, a little too big for me, and baggy gray sweat pants. I try to fix my brown hair to the side, just like in the dream. And now, I’m writing in this journal. To sum up the significant events in the past 21 years, I’ve relived the death of mom twice over, and I have not failed to tell her that I love her a shit ton. I still can’t get over the fact that mom’s been gone for 9 years and counting. Dad was a filthy drunk, piece of human garbage, I lived twice through violent days and, of course, his committing suicide. Both times, I’ve never tried to stop him. I think that was the right choice, but I couldn’t have avoided it anyway. I was adopted by my older sister who moved out when she was 19, had a stable job, took care of me when the shit-for-brains died. I love her so much. She reminds me of the time I got lost in the woods, or when I dropped my superman action figure, or when mom died in that accident…she was always there for me. Anywho, let’s talk bidness.

Today’s forecast is a shitstorm with a side of sunny. I’m going to fucking embarrass myself in front of everyone today. I forgot how but it’s going to happen but I’m gonna be lying in my own puddle of vomit. At least, it’ll be better in the end because I get my paycheck today. It ain’t worth being a sober college student.


I was right. Today was just craptastic. I can’t believe I passed out in my own puke on the floor at a party with dicks drawn all over my face. Fuck my life. At least that’s over. But something odd just came up. There’s this girl, I’ve never seen her in my dreams before. I’m asexual, like a super self-replicating amoeba kind of person, because I have never been able to develop feelings for anyone in my entire life. I mean, I kinda masturbate to everything, but that’s not the point here. I’ve seen her without experiencing any flashbacks. She has the most peculiar black silky hair, long and flowing past her shoulders, and her wide eyes are like glass covering a carefully varnished antique oak table. Her nose was the perfect size to match her diamond face. Her cheeks are plump, and her cheekbones fit her face perfectly. She may have looked interracial, as if she was a cross between Asian and Caucasian. We bumped into each other, dropping our things by chance. We awkwardly apologized and went our ways afterwards. I want to see her again.


Time log entry 9/16/xx

Today, I didn’t see the girl in my dreams. It was as if she didn’t exist. There is really nothing worth mentioning for today. I go to class, work my part-time job, go home, and sleep in my cramped ass dorm room. I still hope I get to see that girl again.


I saw her today, and I got her number! Her name is Destiny. I’m just that fucking awesome! I asked her if she wanted to get a coffee or something sometime. That definitely means she doesn’t have a boyfriend or anything! (I hope!) She’s definitely going to change my life around, somehow. Maybe she’s my “Destiny!” I’m so fucking bad at puns! BUT I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY!




Time log entry 9/20/xx

Today is a Saturday. Something weird’s going on in my dreams. I can no longer dream of anything besides being with her. I don’t remember seeing myself doing anything alone or writing in this journal. I don’t see myself alone in any situation. Every scene focuses on the both of us. Strange... but I’m sort of happy reliving happy moments.


I’m so fucking happy. I think we’ve officially became boyfriend and girlfriend. We had so much fun together at the carnival. It went just as planned in my dreams. This absolutely has to be written down: I was kind of embarrassed when I accidentally farted out loud. Everyone looked in our direction on the train. But instead of being disgusted, Destiny let big one rip! SHE’S A KEEPER! Oh my fucking gawwddd, we laughed our asses off the entire train ride. I won her a giant stuffed animal, took her to a fancy café, and even kissed, but only once! That was the first time I kissed anyone in the mouth! I hope we stay together forever.




Time log entry 10/3/xx

Shit…today is going to be freaking awful. Destiny and I are going to have a fight. I don’t know what we were talking about or how we got into that conversation. Please, dear Lord, don’t let her leave my side. She’s the best thing that ever came out of my mundane life. Mom, if you’re there, please ask God to help me keep her. Things have changed ever since she came into my life. Fuck this, I’ll try changing this around. I can’t afford to lose her.


It fucking worked! I don’t know how it did, but Jesus Christ! It was a miracle. God Bless. The first thing I did was buy a bouquet of flowers with a card and attached it to a teddy bear. When I came over to her apartment, she broke down in tears BECAUSE IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY! AND I DIDN’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE IT WAS HER BIRTHDAY! SHE NEVER TOLD ME!!! Still, we went out for dinner and got her a whole birthday cake with the last of my last paycheck. We took the rest of the cake home and shared it as we spooned to “How I Met Your Mother” on Netflix. One of the best days ever.




Time log entry 10/20/xx

Today was our one-month anniversary (and I didn’t have a clue this was a thing since it’s my first time with a girlfriend) and I missed it because one of my co-workers called in sick while I had to fill in the shift. Why the hell would I do that? Destiny is way more important to me than that shitty accounting job. But it’s my only line of stable income. How the fuck am I going to solve this? I’ll call in sick before the other guy does. It’s not like I used any sick days yet, and that other asshole never goes to work on time. Fuck that motherfucker.


I’m a piece of shit. Why did I do that? I was just told by my assistant manager that my asshole coworker quit in the middle of the job because his sick mom just died. That explains all anger management issues that I had to deal with last month. Fuck me. This guilt is going to haunt me. I just traded someone’s mom to save my relationship. I’m a fucking douchebag. I’m gonna rot in hell. Fuck…




Time log entry 10/31/xx

I woke up feeling nauseas. I’m currently writing this at night but at this time, I couldn’t remember anything that happened but it was a trippy as fuck. The only thing I saw in that dream was a bloody hand. It wasn’t mine but I was holding onto it. I just hope nothing bad happens to Destiny. Nothing like that happened today so I must have changed something again.




Time log entry 11/8/xx

Jesus fucking Christ…Destiny, she keeps dying I my dreams. What the fuck am I going to do? Every time I sleep, I see her die somehow. Either she’s laying in my arms or dead on a sidewalk. What the fuck is going on? Am I dreaming right now? Please tell me this isn’t a dream. I keep writing in this journal but some of the entries are missing. What the fuck is happening? Please don’t disappear! PLEASE! IT’S MY ONLY PROOF THAT SHE’S ALIVE YESTERDAY! I CAN’T LOSE HER! I WON’T LET YOU FUCKING TAKE HER!




Time log entry 11/15/xx

I don’t know if I can save her anymore. I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not. She keeps dying. We haven’t even had sex together yet. We didn’t get married yet. We didn’t have children yet. Please, we haven’t even lived yet. Don't leave me, Destiny. I don't want to live without you.





Al, I didn’t know you were going through this much. I honestly don’t know what to say. You haven’t answered your phone for 3 days, and I haven’t seen you in class. I found this under your bed. Please, whatever you’re going through, we’ll find a way to get through this together. Please call me if you read this. I will always love you, no matter what.

Your's always,




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