Ashes In The Snow

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Other  |  House: Just an Image
There are different pain affects. And all of them lead to different endings. Don't they?

Submitted: January 22, 2017

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Submitted: January 22, 2017

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The lights flickered as I was walking barefoot in the snow. I needed agony, it helps me. When a loved one dies, you can’t help, but die inside.

The mountains surrounded me. They were up there. While I was down here. They seem like gods, I obey them. My feet were burning. I was walking on burning ashes. But what did I care? When you loose someone, it doesn’t matter. Torment helped me. As the lights flickered I laid down and looked at the stars. There were so many and they were all bright yet, I only felt agony. My pajamas where soaked. My hands were freezing. But my eyes couldn’t stop gazing up. Eyes are independent body parts. You won’t shut them out with pain. 

That’s when I remembered my mother lullaby.  

“City of stars

Are you shining just for me?

City of stars

There's so much that I can't see

Who knows?

I felt it from the first embrace I shared with you

That now our dreams

They've finally come true”

I kept humming the same song over and over again. I cried, though I didn’t feel anything. Salty water was just running down my cheeks. When it seemed like the snow was about to consume me. I stood up and started walking again. Flickering memories of my mother kept coming back. But I wasn’t walking because of her death. I was gazing at peace. Inner peace. 

I found out, the less I think, the less pain there is. My feet seemed to be on fire, while my head was clear. I wanted to stay. But this place won’t help me forget. It will only help me remember. Nostalgic feelings kept catching me over and over again. Every time they would, a hammer would hit my heart. It would pierce it with needles. It would rip it into pieces. 

I couldn’t help but scream. At the top of my lungs. All of my feelings, emotions just escaped. For so long I had them trapped. And here they are, getting lost. 

Then I just started laughing. I don’t know what, but something broke. My hysterical laugh echoed through the mountains. I fell down to the grown while screaming from laughter and rolling. My mother was gone. And it was funny for me. What can I say, humans are vacuous.


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