january 29th, 2015

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 27, 2017

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Submitted: January 27, 2017



January 29th, 2015

I couldn’t sleep the night before.  My outfit for school tomorrow was set out; a royal blue shirt, jeans, white Keds, and a blue ribbon to tie in my hair.  This day has seemed so daunting until now. I have to put a smile on my face and show everyone how strong I am.  You wouldn’t expect having to go through this during your senior year. I walk into my high school and everyone I see is wearing blue. Everyone knows what is happening today, and I can’t bring myself to imagine that today is it.  I look up, continue walking, and smile at everyone who is supporting the one I love.

School starts and I am already dreading being here.  I get to leave in a few hours but my heart is in my stomach from the start of my day.  I meet all of my friends who are my second family before our first class.  We all hug one another and give reassuring smiles to tell each other everything will be okay.  School begins and all I see is a sea full of royal blue.

Back up to the beginning of senior year. The boy I have been dating for almost two years was diagnosed with cancer. When he told me, he gave me a choice: to leave or stay by his side.  There was no thought of ever leaving him because I knew that he was the one I loved.  Collin made the best out of this unexpected adventure as he called it.  He made a foundation called Collin Cares Cure Cancer to not only fundraise for himself, but for others struggling with issues as well. He will defy the hand he is dealt, but he has to endure treatments and multiple surgeries to overcome his obstacles.

The surgery began around 5:45 am on January 29th, 2015.  For most people this is just a normal day, but for me, I was on the edge of my seat all day.  I hated thinking that Collin was going through such a horrible thing.  This surgery was to remove all the cancerous lesions and tumors in his abdomen, so this was a very intricate surgery. The morning of, Collin and his parents woke up and left for the hospital. Since they didn’t pack anything, I went to Marshals with my mom, Collin’s aunt, and his cousin after my lunch period. We bought pajamas and also purchased snacks to put in their hotel room while they waited for Collin to get out of surgery.  This made me feel like I was helping out with something, instead of being useless. When we got to their hotel, we had issues getting to their room. The concierge would not authorize us to place the items we had bought in the room. The bellman understood and let us walk into the room.  We need to make sure it was the correct room and I knew it was. On the chair straight ahead of me were Collin’s shoes and clothes wrapped in a bag. This made my heart break, I wanted so badly to be near him, when in reality I wouldn’t talk or see him for about a week.

Throughout the day I was able to get three updates.  After leaving things in the hotel room, we went to a restaurant to keep our minds busy at what was happening at the hospital. Collin’s aunt received the updates from Collin’s mother, but they weren’t often.

At 3:32 in the afternoon, he had already endured ten hours but had three hours of surgery left. They were working on his kidney and after he still needed to have a chemotherapy wash throughout his entire abdomen. I was happy to have an update but still knew there was so much more to accomplish. So many things could go wrong, giving him life long complications or a longer procedure. I also made sure to put the information on social media to inform everyone who wore blue, how Collin was doing.

At 8:27 pm, we were updated that he should be finished in a couple hours and everything was going according to what the doctors expected. They also mention everything was looking great, which made me feel somewhat, relieved.  While sitting in a restaurant, I couldn’t help but wish this was all over and to have him in my arms once again.

At 10:55 pm, the sixteen-hour surgery had come to an end, Collin was doing well and his parents would be able to see him soon. I was at home thinking to myself how amazing this person is.  I was so proud of my boyfriend and how he handled everything so smoothly.

After days go by, I get a few updates here and there; Collin stood up today, he walked a few steps today, drank a sip of water yesterday, his hair was washed in the sink (I got a picture of that moment), or he walked a couple laps around the floor. These little things don’t seem like much, but when I heard how he was slowly getting better, it made my heart happier each time. Collin texted me on the fifth day and told me he was ready to see me. I was so static that I needed my mom home right now so she could drive me to Cleveland. She was out running errands and didn’t get back for at least twenty minutes after I told her the news. I needed to get to that hospital as quickly as I could and the thirty-five minute drive there didn’t help.  Before we left out hometown, we went by the store to replenish all the snacks for his parents. We jumped in the car and I had the biggest smile on my face. I really get to see him. We were halfway to the hospital and I looked down to see that Collin had texted me. “Hey. I’m not feeling very well, I really want to see you but not today anymore. I’m sorry.” My heart shattered.

If I just would have left earlier I would have been able to see him. We didn’t drive fast enough. Those twenty minutes ruined my chance of seeing him. What could have I done differently?

We arrive at his parent’s hotel, which is attached to the hospital. We were able to place everything in their room with no problem, except the fact I wasn’t going to see Collin. My mom knew I was so disappointed, so we decided to find somewhere in the hospital to eat. We are walking down the hall and we take a right, but that didnt settle with what my heart was telling me. We turn around and go towards the right. My mom and I were talking about what we wanted to eat and I look up. Collin’s mom is walking towards us and it was meant to be. If we didn’t turn around, we would have never seen her. She was the closest thing I could get to Collin and that first thing I did was give her an enormous hug. We stop and chat with her and she mentions she is going to the hotel room and then back to sit with Collin. She shows us where the best places to eat are and just talking to her makes me feel like I am closer to him. She decides to get going, so we say our goodbyes and she walks off. I was being selfish, but I didn’t want her to leave me.

I sat down with my food and I ate with my mom. We were talking about how fate led us to her. I knew that we needed to go the other way; it was just my gut feeling.  About five minutes into eating our food, his mom called my mom.

“Collin wants to see Hayden.”

Are you serious? I was just crying about how I couldn’t see him. I throw the rest of my food away and find his mom right away. We get on the elevator and go up to floor six. The bright white halls are what you would think any hospital would look like. We turn the corner and his room is the first one on the left. I walk in and his dad is sitting in a chair reading a magazine. Walking past the curtain I see Collin. His pale face gives me a soft smile and I can believe I am in this moment. I kneel next to his bed and hold his hand. He was slowly coming in and out because he had just taken pain medication but this was all I needed. To see him. He pats the bed and I gently sit down where he wants me. He starts talking about the nurses and how he gets ice chips once in a while. He is supposed to put them in his mouth and spit them out, but Collin tells me his more rebellious story of eating them instead. Five minutes passed and it was time to say goodbye. I kiss him on the forehead telling him I love him very much and he says the same in return. I get up but he isn’t satisfied he didn’t receive a hug. He sits up while having no abdomen muscles to use, and gives me a hug. I get up and leave the room. I have held myself together, but as soon as I step out of his room, tears start running down my face. Collin Kiousis is one of the most inspiring individual in my life.

How can someone go through six rounds of chemotherapy, a sixteen-hour surgery, start a foundation, still attend school, and be involved in other activities like snowboarding, lacrosse, and backstage crew. Collin amazes me and works hard towards anything he puts his mind to.  He now attends The Akron University fulltime, while still receiving treatment. Even though we attend different schools, we support each other everyday and plan on continuing for the rest of our lives, but I will never forget the sea of blue. 

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