My Warrior

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: January 30, 2017

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Submitted: January 30, 2017

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It can just be an average Tuesday. Back into the swing of work but memories of a lovely weekend still fresh. Whether it's hunting round antiques shops and drinking Starbucks or going on some crazy fun adventures with our small army of amazing kids, me and my fiancé always make the most of every second of free time we get. We can have fun in an empty room as long as we're together. 
 
It's been a busy day at work and I can't wait to get home, close the door, shut out the rest of the world and just get into our little bubble again. Being with him is my happy place. 
 
Then CRASH. The plague of depression invades his head and battle commences. 
 

It's a battle that we're in together. I'm there by his side through anything he faces but, and this is the biggest 'but' ever, I'm in an unbreakable glass box. I can see him clear as day but I can't help him fight, I can't touch him and I can't hold him. I'm powerless. All I can do is watch.

 
I'm watching him fight in a dark and lonely wilderness. Where worries and fears are hitting him full force from all directions. I can see his eyes and I can see he's suffering. I can feel his fear of what's going to hit him next and absolute frustration that life is standing still while he's in another battle that he never asked for. But more than that I can see determination and strength. Everytime he's hit by another blow he gets back up , dusts himself off and ploughs head first back into the battle. He's a warrior and I feel like my body is going to explode with pride that he is my man. He doesn't deserve any of this and I hate the world for making this happen to him and not someone else. 
 
Inside the box I'm in a world of quiet calm, logical thought and rational thinking. I have happy memories of good times and a belief that the world is an awesome place and life is amazing.... all the weapons he needs in his fight. But I can't get them to him because there is a massive glass wall between us. And even though the glass box is a happy place it doesn't feel complete without him. I long for him to be in here with me and I miss him even though I can see him so close to me. 
 
In the logical world i know he's fought this battle before and I know he's going to win. So I cling onto that and just wait for it to be over so we can carry on building our beautiful life together. But sometimes the injustice and frustration is just too much and I'm screaming inside the box and banging on the walls trying to get him to look and see how amazing it is in here. No matter how much I scream he can't hear me because the noise around him just drowns out anything else. 
 
Then suddenly, almost as quickly as it all started, the noise dies down. He looks over and he sees me again. The walls of the box shatter and he's there with me. His arms are around me and we're together again. My world is complete. 
 
We don't know how long it will last. Each ceasefire is a little bit longer than the last and maybe one day the battle will be over for good. But until then I just make the most of every second of calm we have and use the down time to arm him with as much love, happiness and strength as I can in the hope that it will make the next battle a little easier for him to bear. 


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