Love and Sustainability

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Real problems of real people in a real relationship.

Submitted: January 31, 2017

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Submitted: January 31, 2017



It has been a whirlwind five months for us. Despite the fights and the distance, here we are, still together.

It has not been easy though. There are things that I still could not say or don't know how to say to you. I think this is the problem with us (or is it just me?). I want this to work so badly, that I gave you the almost perfect me. I want you to love that "me" so much that when you see the different me, the ordinary me, the moody me, the me that cannot do household chores, you'll have no choice but to accept me.

My plan is stupid. I know. Little by little, you saw pieces of me that I really don't want you to see. Yet you're still here. I don't know why, but you seem to accept me. And you still tell me you love me.

That's the problem though. Because I don't know if can accept "you". All of you. The imperfect you. The romantic me who wanted to conjure a knight in shining armor boyfriend straight from my daydreams but have gotten a real person instead. The me who dreamed about romantic dinners, road trips, take care of me when I'm sick moments but had gotten busy schedule and long distance instead. Don't get me wrong. I love spending time with you and I cherish the memories that we had together. I just don't think they're enough to sustain what we have.

If two people love each other, they have to sustain that love. They say love is a decision, and I chose to love you. And for this to work, I have to accept reality and shatter whatever preconceived notions I have about relationships. I have to stop thinking about settling and I have to tell you what I want. I want you to hold me when I'm sick and not just text me to feel better. I want you to be there with me, beside me, even for just five minutes. I want you to surprise me and not just go along with my plans. I want you to take charge because in order for me to give you my undying love and devotion, I have to believe in you - that you can handle me, us.

I love you, but I really really want to fall head over heels in love with you.

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