bouquet

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic


commentary - I think I wrote this after my ex text me accusing me of stabbing her tire or something. I was "happy" to hear from her but it always seems like she creates reasons to act mean to me. I
also talk about one of my favorite memories ever when we took the dogs for a walk driving back from Northern California after Julian died.

Submitted: February 01, 2017

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Submitted: February 01, 2017

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Why did you text me today?

Its not that I don’t appreciate hearing from you

Its that you were mad?

I didn’t know but I did, that words like cold and cruel would get to you

Though I didn’t know they’d ever reach you

In my defense they are not from my mouth

You said I sugar coat the past?

Of course I don’t give every awful detail, I’d like to feel human one day

You thought I gave away and asked me about the dogs

But you could have called?

You know my heart and blood highways are there for you still

Though you’d rather they weren’t, but what can I do?

Do you think its that easy to forget about you?

Then you messaged someone who cares about me

Why would you do that?

To detail my horrible past and embarrass me?

Do you still love me? Do I cross your mind?

Because every time we speak, you tell me you couldn’t be happier

Some dude took you to climb rocks, and you probably lost it

That’s cool but we’ve shared Thanksgiving and Christmas

You make it crystal clear my feelings mean shit

Baby you’ve lost your tactfulness…

Because I don’t go bug you at bars, when your drinking and fooling around

Or break down your door when your giving yourself away

The wolves cant help it when they smell the meat

And of course it hurts, your not here with me

But your still mad for things I did over 8 years ago

I’m not saying they weren’t horrific, but totally I changed

If that doesn’t prove what you mean to me, idk what to say

You do wipe your ass with my heart!

One of the last times I called, you said your going on dates and fucking around with guys

In a distraught whimper, I asked “why?”

You smiled and slurred “because it was fun”

That’s why I said that, I actually took it from the show Shameless

Karen does the same to Lip, you remind me of her now

I know you’ll read this and roll your eyes, like we never spent time, like it was all some lie

I remember when we were driving back from your brothers graduation and we stopped to walk the dogs

We smoked a joint and gave them beef jerky, we talked and ate McDonalds

Do you remember the time Maggie almost ran off into the 5?

On one of those trips up North, maybe the one after Julian died

How many good memories, do you convince yourself was a lie?

I didn’t hurt you for 10 years, you make it seem like I did

After all that time we spent, it sucks you’ve went

Insert a shitty memory, so Christmas seems fucked, so you wont feel so bad, that you’ve given up

Insert a time I was bad, forget the times I treated you like a queen, cause those don’t mean anything

Insert a new reason your afraid

I’ve lost you now, and you know I’ve changed

That’s what sets me apart from them, I know what its like to lose you

Don’t be afraid, I’m simply trying to correct my mistakes


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