Finally

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 03, 2017

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Submitted: February 03, 2017

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It’s a blustering cold Saturday evening. The sky's a deep blue, scattered along it are thin pink clouds.  A blurry outline of the sun peeks out between them, casting rays of gold into the sky. The colors reflect onto the fresh snow, I look up into the sky, into the millions of tiny snowflakes falling down. I reach my hand up, letting the cold delicate patterns melt onto my warm fingertips. I am lost in the silence of a winter night.

I stand there for a couple minutes, letting the snowflakes tickle my cheeks and cold reach my toes inside my boots. I let my brain run free, my thoughts dance through my head and sprint in every direction. They always end up on the same dream.

In the dream I am looking into the sky. I see nothing but bright white constellations, I hear nothing but the faint buzz of bugs around me. I am completely relaxed. In the dream, my brain has stopped running. My thoughts have calmed down, my entire being is loose and mellow. The weight of my body sinks in the moist ground. The warm summer night air blows sweetly against my face.

My toes wiggle in the wet grass, my body curls up into a fetal position and I lean to my side. I smile, my eyes are closed. As I lean over to my left side I feel the presence of someone else. Because this is a dream, I know who it is. The heat radiating off of their body pulls me in. I reach out, and like I have done a million times before, I wrap my arms around his waist and pull myself closer. I lay against his back, my chin falling into the curve in between his neck and his shoulder.  It feels so familiar, so right. I feel his body flip over, so he faces me. I look up, mesmerized by the soft curves of his lips and sharp line of his jawline. I remember every detail precisely, yet everytime I see him I fall in love all over again.

The magnet pulling me towards him leaves my body helpless. No matter how close I am to him, how pressed up against him I am, I can never get close enough. Tears fill in my eyes, trip down my face soaking into his t shirt. I am finally at peace, finally complete. The overwhelming sadness inside of me is gone, I am home.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

A voice wakes me up from the daydream. My mother is standing next to me. Her eyes are towards the sky, watching the golden rays fade and snowflakes dance. She reaches her arm out and puts it around my shoulder. Her touch is warm and affectionate, but my body rejects it like an organ that doesn’t belong. My body is missing my heart, missing a piece, missing another soul and nothing can replace it. Every emotion, touch, memory, is empty and meaningless.

I don’t remember the last time my sleep wasn’t filled of nightmares and false realities. I don’t remember a moment in the past several months that wasn’t glazed over with a daze. I look in a mirror and I don’t recognize the person I am seeing anymore. I am empty.

I think back to this time during the previous year. I was falling in love for the first time. Every experience was so new and colorful and magical. I was floating on a cloud, letting love guide me in whatever direction he wanted to take me. Letting his embrace become my home, his words become by happiness. I let his soul intertwine with mine in a way I coud never imagine it breaking.

But he left. His soul unwinded from mine, leaving it only a halve. And until my other half comes back and fits back in with me, that is all I am.

A half of a person, a half of a soul. Dreaming of my magnificent other half, dreaming of his embrace and the way our souls fit as one.

“Breathtaking.” I answer.


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