Era Extrana

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

commentary - as I read this today (10/30/17) this is one of my favorite pieces I've posted. although, I don't like how I try to pass the blame to her as to why I didn't stop smoking and being lazy
(lame). I love the county fair memories in this, that will always be one of my favorite days ever.

Submitted: February 03, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 03, 2017



You’ve been weird since we first started talking

That loneliness pulled us together, and sadly pulled us apart

Why cant you believe that me at 30, doesn’t know the guy who hurt you so badly?

I know you can find a million guys, who’d treat you right

But baby I’ve loved you for most of my life

I wish I could pack away your memories of me hurting you

I pray every night that you can see past those black clouds

If you ever come back, you’d not know this man

The past 5 months have been horrible for me

I wake up alone, I cannot sleep

After all the times you were my left and right

Now I don’t know where you spend the night

But that’s how you want it, me alone smoking cigarettes

You used to care about me, now we don’t even speak

You wondered if I sold the dogs

But where were you? Why don’t you call?

Supposedly we were family, me you and the dogs

But me and them could be dead

And your just out, all night long

I know you believe I kept you prisoner, but that’s offensive

We were both high as fuck watching Netflix

You said you were afraid of me, but I hadn’t been awful in years!

You saw and heard the moments I wanted to quit smoking

Why didn’t you say “yes Rich, lets stop this shit”

You waited till you found your apartment, than left

You need to move away from Southern California because this is my turf

Your from the North, you make my pain worse

I’m sure that line makes you wanna stay down here always

Your so cold and you think its payback and I guess it is

But you’re a grown woman, hurting me for something I did as a kid

19 and 20 is still young, I didn’t know shit

I couldn’t control my emotions, I wasn’t in the right mind

You make it seem like I --- --- all the time

Nothing makes what I did right, I will always be in the wrong

I will always have that shame and you will always have that pain

Is there anything I can do, to reach you?

I would reach into your fire anytime

What I did wasn’t right, I wanna pay you back

Even though you say its too late

I would kill myself to have you plan my wake

If I had mountains of gold, they’d go to you

If I had the funds, you’d know its true

I wanna buy you that house with a beautiful kitchen

I can hear you say “I’ll build it myself”

But girl you know I love you more than life itself

My death sentence is thinking of you loving someone else

I can be that guy, I wont ever fight your wishes again

I’ll go to work everyday and behave

I can be positive and make better waves

Not yell in the car, always want you to stay

But you say its too late

I pray one day, that could change

Do you remember that time at the L.A. County Fair when we saw that dog show?

And the dissected body showcase thing?

I wish so bad I could relive that day, we laughed so much and ate

You almost passed out from the heat, so I bought some booze and we watched kids ice skate

You were wearing this red dress, and bought a Rasta style bag

We snuck into the music show that night

I drove us home in your old van, you passed out in the seat

Months back at Redondo beach you offered to share the blanket you had over you

Then the next day you said, you felt nothing

You made me feel like a fool

Why would you offer that gesture if you didn’t think it was cool?

Then you word it like you did a pathetic person a favor

That’s not right, I thought we had a fun night

You said we were always boring, so that’s why after dinner I wanted to take you to see the ocean!

You always keep these dark thoughts inside your head

You make me feel like my heart beats are a mistake

I know your moving on, but please be kind

I was a monster but I do have a soul

Its really hard for me to let you go… 

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