A Thought About My Life

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just had a few thought about my life that I needed to get down and I felt like sharing

Submitted: February 06, 2017

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Submitted: February 06, 2017



It’s funny how I’m always reaching for something else. Searching and wishing for another time. I consistently stuck in a day dream about the future instead of seizing the now. I find that I’m never living in the moment, so to speak. Instead I’m drifting off into another existence. A universe where I’m happy and living the dream. Living this certain lifestyle that, perhaps I heard about from an old friend or watched in a movie. Nevertheless, this lifestyle doesn’t truly exist and I think I tend to forget that I actually have to work for things if I want them to happen. If I really wanted to live a life in which I am completely content I would have to strive to make myself happy with the things around or bring things into my life that I know would enlighten and excite me enough that I become joyful.

I remember being in primary school and wanting to be in high school. I remember being in high school and wanting it to be over so desperately. I remember finishing high school and wanting it to be time to travel so badly, while I was busy saving money for it, that I drove myself crazy. Then I remember traveling and wanting to be back home. I remember getting home and wanting to leave for university straight away even though I had a few months before I could. I remember moving for university, I hadn’t even started the classes yet and I already wanted it to be over. I imagined myself in the work force, in a corporate area of a big city, wearing a pencil skirt and blazer.

How stupid is it that I’m just never enjoying myself. That I’m never just grabbing my life by the throat and changing all that needs to be altered so that I am living the life that I imagine for myself. Why do I always want to escape myself and my own life? Why am I always running? Why do I think it’ll be any better in the future if I don’t make it right for myself now? Why do I sit here being miserable and wanting everything to be different, for myself to be happier but just not do a single thing about it? I need to pounce on my life with the full force of a lion. I need to strive to make myself happier even if it seems impossible sometimes. I need to start enjoying the now. Why wait. Why am I waiting? Why not seize the day? Carpe Diem, right? Don’t like something? Change it or a at least improve it and if you can’t change it then make peace with it otherwise it’s going to plague you your whole life. You can’t really change the shape of your body but you can make sure you’re healthy and fit! I might not be able to change my personality but I can work on my anxiety, help myself to socialise better.

Life is what you make it and it’s important you don’t just wish it all away.

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