grand children

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 06, 2017

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Submitted: February 06, 2017



Grand kids

It is interesting to me that at this late time in my life, I still, periodically think fondly of my Grandparents. I was fortunate in my childhood days, to visit with them perhaps only a hand full of times but it was intense enough that it left such an imprint on my memory bank. 

I remember vividly looking at them both, when they were talking and explaining things to me and like a sponge I took it all in. I so loved my grandparents and I so miss them 'till today. Perhaps that they were the only people in my life not like my parents, were not judgmental or punishing me or even reprimanding me for misbehaving some time.

They were warm and I felt safe, secure and loved with passion coming from a warm heart. They were not educated folks but they had an abundant amount of wisdom that they shared with me and it followed me thru my life time.

We did not have computers and tablets, e mails and texting, cell phones and smart phones not even a telephone to be able to reach and connect.

We did have pencil and paper however, something I never mastered simply because I was not introduced to it properly I supposed.  Even reading was a taunting chore, until I realize that knowledge comes from wise and knowledgeable people who share their expertise trough books. I then understood that I must read on any subject that was of interest to me in order to educate myself.

I frequent libraries on monthly bases searching for answers to many questions that I was confronted on daily bases and to me the library was a place to educate myself in many respects. Reading, spelling, understanding the meaning of words and discovering answers to subject only those of high end education are privy to.

I went as far as purchasing the entire Webster dictionary on $12 dollars a month payments when we did not have money for food to eat. That is called determination.  My-self imposed system  of learning, was indiscriminately opening a page anywhere in the dictionary pointing to a word, learning to pronounce it, write it, and spell it.  I did this to ten words every day, using "pencil and paper"...

 As years past, my grandparent and I were oceans apart literally. I regret very much not making the effort to write to them and trying to keep in touch.

It was definitely up to me. The young should approach and care for the old and not the other way around. In the old school it is called respect your elders, and for good reason.

And now at my new found age of 78 I find myself very lonely of my grand kids.

Two of them are very far far away and the other two, I get to see more often but very little communication between us. I live in an era of major break trough in communication, everything is high tech. We are so "connected" that I feel we are actually "disconnected". We are disconnected from reality of real day to day life, we are disconnected from each other in a personal way, like touch, see, feel. "They" walk the streets looking down into their smart phone, bumping into people, driving cars causing accidents simply because they are looking down to their smart phone and total disregard of the traffic around, no peripheral hearing or vision what so ever, consequently getting mugged, robbed, raped, and worse; getting killed.

We put out there everything private and very personal to the world to see, for what reason I don't know.

It is inconceivable to me, that with a smart phone glued to my grandkids hands 24 hour a day 7 days a week, there is no time of one moment a month to text "how are you grand pa or grand mom".  For months on end.

I am venting here of course but that is how I feel. However I also feel that if I am not in their heart, than they are right. No need to communicate.

On my part I just don't want to get an insincere I love you as a response to a lengthy text or e mail.

When I kiss and say to my grandkids "I Love You", I actually feel a melting sensation emanating from my heart at that moment. I do get back, "I Love You To”, but it is mechanical.

 I often take bus trips and most on these trips are retirees like me, we talk about many things as we socialize and spend time together and of course the subject of grand kids comes up often and I hear the same concerns from most.

To play the devil's advocate here, I must say in the grandkids defense that I perhaps not as invested as I should be and perhaps my excuses are not as valid as I feel they are. I don't know.

© Copyright 2018 manny k. All rights reserved.

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