everything i want to say

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 08, 2017

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Submitted: February 08, 2017

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“I AM SORRY” I scream, my chest shatters on the floor, my wilted rose of a heart crumbles into little smashed up petal pieces.

“I am so sorry.” I now whisper, falling, letting my body melt into the cold ground.

“I am so sorry I am so sorry I am so sorry.” I mumble over and over again until it is just a hum of jumbled together syllables.

There will never be words to explain how my heart feels, how broken it is for how I was.

How will I ever forgive myself,  for treating the person I am in love with, less than they deserve and losing them for eternity because of that.

I never will.

I am stuck in the memories and the way he used to look at me and kiss me and talk about me I am so sorry I am so sorry.

I am crying now.

You look down at my open chest, the smashed petals. The hollowness in my eyes and weakness in my movement.

“I could never be more sorry in my entire life and I know you have no reason to believe me other than that I have messed up so terribly and I hate the person I was.”

“I HATE YOU” I scream to my brain, to my dead wilted heart.

“You mess up everything you touch you lost the one thing that meant it all you fucked up you FUCKED up.” I scream so hard my brain becomes liquid.

“I look at you like you are the sun in the sky and I will never be the same person again. I hate that person. I hate them I hate them I hate them” I whisper to you, my my voice cracking.

“I would spend my whole life proving it to you every day because I know I can. I know how it was to lose you I am in a living hell every day and god I am SHIT I AM SHIT I will never be that person again.”

“I am so sorry I am so sorry.” My brain whispers on repeat every hour of every day.

“ I don’t deserve anything from you. Not even forgiveness but god I am in love with you and this is so hard I am so so sorry.

“Someone once told me to never stop fighting for someone you can’t go a day without thinking about but you occupy every second of every day I fucked up i messed up I love you so much how can I make this up to you? Please tell me I can make this up to you.”

“Please come home.” I shiver.


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