How i met my wife

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
A man's story as to how he found true love.Breaking stereotypes about arrange marriages.A look into the eastern culture for those who wonder.

Submitted: February 11, 2017

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Submitted: February 11, 2017

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“One more house to visit,then we will be done for the day”, my auntie assured me as I sighed in exasperation. I resigned myself to her wishes,and leaning against the car seat closed my eyes. This wasn’t new to me. The whole last month I had spent roaming around town. The reason is not quite what you would expect; I was looking for a wife! Based in Kenya,there weren’t a lot of people of my community over there ,that is Asians.We people are big on same caste,arranged marriages,so I had to take my search to someplace where I will have an abundance of Asian women willing to take me as their own.

My uncle is based in Multan, Pakistan and that is where I was now, roaming around town with my auntie. I was looking at prospective suitors. One would imagine that in a country full of women I will find a girl for myself with ease, but one is grossly mistaken. Girls were there, but to find the right one was the real problem. I had acquired the help of a well-known elder of the community who had taken upon himself to make matches, he was Sardar the Matchmaker. He grilled me thoroughly first, physical appearance, job, assets, family he noted everything in a big book of his. Then he matched me with girls registered on his book and the process started as we did rounds visiting all of them one by one. Some rejected me, some I rejected. Some had looks, some had family background and education, some had everything but not what I was looking for.

Because I ,my good folks was looking for a fairytale lovestory.Shocked? That is expected. People don’t generally think that arranged marriage and love marriage can go hand in hand, but they can. I can assure you today they can. Ever since I attained puberty and guys around me started chasing girls I had known. I had known that true love had to be pure. There was absolutely no point in chasing around after girls for meaningless superficial relations, when I could hold on. My culture and religion also dictated it so that is what I did. Waited and prayed to God that when I see her, I recognize her, my one true love. So, that was the problem now, I wasn’t feeling that connection with anyone. There were no sparks flying anywhere. I was starting to lose hope, the process of going house to house becoming tedious and a bit soul crushing. Every time I came out of a house I broke a bit from the inside, fearing that I will never find Her.

I came home empty that day also. My aunt really liked the girl that we saw, she was well educated and pretty. I really didn’t notice much as there were no sparks. I retired for the day and prayed to god not to break my hopes. I had waited too long, saved myself for my one true love. I feared I was going to have to settle. I prayed for my heart’s desire. The next day was quite eventful.

I got a call from an old lady who said she got my number from Sardar. Apparently, she had a granddaughter and was calling in regards to a marriage proposal. Their family wanted to come and see me. I was a bit taken aback. The norm in that culture is for the boy and his family to go and see the girl and not the other way around. But I talked to Sardar and he was adamant that I do what those people say. This made me curious because normally Sardar is quite stern with people and does not entertain any demands. Anyways I agreed. The girl’s family was set to come that evening.

I informed my aunt and uncle and even they were not quite pleased with the idea of the girl’s family coming. “You entertain them yourself, we aren’t going to do anything”, said my cousins. “I will do it”, I shrugged and walked out to the bakery, where I bought some refreshments for my guests. They were due to arrive at 7 and it was already time. I still needed a bath and to shave and make myself presentable. I didn’t get to do any of those, as I was told of my guest’s arrival. I quickly washed my face and ran out to receive them. My beard was overgrown and unkempt and I was tucking my shirt into my trousers, when I saw them walking towards me. I saw their expressions and noticed the rejection on their faces. Lost without even a chance of a fight, I chuckled to myself. They were a well-groomed lot, two men, one quite young and handsome and two women. They came inside, sat and talked a bit. I served them myself, being as polite as I could.

They left after a while, taking a not so good impression on their minds about me. My uncle looked at me and mouthed, “Not a chance”. I agreed. They were good decent people. I hadn’t even seen the girl and I liked them. “Why don’t I ever get good people like these? “a mouthed a silent complain at the skies.

The day passed normally, I had forgotten all about them, sure that they had forgotten me too. Imagine my surprise when I got the call. Come see the girl, we were told. When I informed, that I will personally come, a bit of a tension was created, as in some of these Asian, specifically Pakistani households, the boy does not personally see the girl, only his family does. I stood my ground, I was the one going to be married for life, I needed to see. Even that roadblock passed and I too was invited.

The fateful day came, I was waiting for another prospective match to call, as they were supposed to come. But they couldn’t make it, so we left for that house, a bit late then the assigned time. The match maker Sardar was with us. He told me “Remember these streets, they lead to your future in-laws”, I looked at him strangely. What was up with him. I hadn’t even seen the girl and here he was implying marriage. I think now, that he had a strong inkling that things are going to work out there.

We reached the house. It was a nice house, I remember looking around at the tiling and the structure, as I was constructing a house here too. It was good but not so impressive, my standards in house making were high. We were ushered into a drawing room, it was nice and cozy, beautifully decorated.

The girl’s parents appeared along with the older lady who had called me first. I found out she was the maternal grandmother of the girl. I was surprised as I had thought earlier that she was the mother and the other lady was the sister. The parents appeared quite young. We sat and talked a bit, refreshments came. I was chatting with the girl’s father about business and so on. My aunt was told to go inside and see the girl, but she insisted that she be brought here. The match maker Sardar was eerily quiet. In all other places, we went, he was so loud and authoritative, here he was quiet, I wondered why?

From the corner of my eyes I saw the door open and a figure walk inside, I knew she had come. I kept on chatting with the father. And then I looked up. She was sitting on a sofa in front of me, looking at me too. Our eyes met. And then to my utter disbelief, I felt myself blushing and looking away. What just happened, I thought to myself. My pulse quickened. I sat there trying to control myself. Then I stole another look. She was quite young and pretty. I had been told the girl was young but I didn’t know how much. She looked so innocent and fragile, unlike any other girl I had seen before. She was sitting with her back straight and with grace, I lost my heart that very instant. I remember looking at the father and cursing at him in my mind, what kind of a father is he, he can’t take care of such an angelic daughter, why was he throwing her away to a man like me. I looked at her again and then she left. She hadn’t sat more than five minutes, didn’t talk to me at all. Was talking to my aunt. I just saw her for moments but I had fallen head over heels for her. Sparks flew everywhere.

I tried to control myself. “Don’t get your hopes high”, I told myself. Soon afterwards the parents left, leaving us alone to confer. Sardar asked for my opinion and I said yes. My aunt was a bit reluctant, but I said yes, I liked her. He then went outside to talk to the parents. The parents needed some time to think.

We went home, the feeling of when I saw her still making me wonder. Was it really love at first sight, like they show in movies. No, I doubted myself, that stuff is not real. But the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I had seen a lot of women, some maybe prettier than her, but never something like that had happened to me, never. No woman had ever attracted me like that. Even if it was it didn’t matter. I didn’t even know if her parents were going to agree. Even If they did I wasn’t sure I was worthy of her. She was an angel, a blooming flower that needed to be protected and cherished. I did not think I would be able to keep her happy. At home my uncle and cousins asked how was she. I had started a game whenever I saw a pretty girl I used to categorize them as oo, ola, olala and so on. That day I said oolalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. They were shocked.

Days flew by and I finally heard from them. They had said yes. Before that day, I had stopped thinking about her, I didn’t dare to hope. But then, I was the happiest man in the world. I vowed to take care of her and make her the most cherished person in my life, I felt like God had given me this responsibility to take care of his angel. I met her once more and every time I saw her, I had the same reaction. Once I was eating a slice of pizza and couldn’t swallow it up. Arrangements were quickly made for nikkah that is the legal religious marriage. It was all very fast.

In a weeks’ time I was sitting beside her, as her legal husband. But she still wasn’t truly mine. I was to go back to my home country and come back in three months for our proper wedding. After that I would be able to take her home. That wait was the longest wait of my life. The good part was I could correspond with her through email, was even allowed to call but that was limited. I had never written such long emails in my life before, my nights were spent writing them and days spent awaiting a reply.

The time finally came, I had her and I was the happiest man alive. All my waiting and searching was worth it in the end. I don’t know if arranged marriage works out for everyone, now-a-days it is widely frowned upon, but I found my love through it so no complaints. To each there own.

 


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