By Any Means Necessary

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is a story about my father and his life.

Submitted: February 13, 2017

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Submitted: February 13, 2017




I didn’t have a normal life but it wasn’t awful. I never knew my father and I was raised by my Grandma because my mom was only 15 when she had me and didn’t have enough money to take care of me when she had me. While I was staying with my gram my mom had two more kids and they were both girls. Kellyne and Brandi. It wasn’t until I was 12 when my mom came into my life. We didn’t talk that much at all until I was 13.

When I was 14 I was already driving. My friends and I were pretty crazy. In the winter we would tie each other to the back of my car and drag each other through the ice.

When I was 15 I started stealing but not from my family because I mean there wasn’t much to steal because my mom was a single mother raising 3 kids with 1 job. I stole from Shaw's, Cars, I would pickpocket people eventually I did get caught and was put in the Woodside Juvenile Rehabilitation Center. That time in Woodside the one of the worst weeks of my life. People were crazy in there. I had heard a lot of rumours and stories about prison and they all happened here at Woodside. When I got out it didn’t seem like my mom was all that happy. She seemed kinda disappointed not in me but the fact that while I was gone it was one less mouth to feed and now then I was back and she had to make more food for dinner.

By 19 I had a son we named him Jackson. I dropped out of highschool and was barely making any money working at Price Chopper felt bad for Abbie, I dropped out of highschool and she graduated early. You could tell she was worried how Jack would turn out.

 When I turned 21 I found out I had another kid, a daughter. Her name was Haleigh. She was going to come live with us because her mother had died in a fire.

Then with both of the kids staying with us we definitely didn’t have enough money. So I called up some of my old buddies and asked them for some help. The next day my old friend Chad came up and we talked for a bit and then he handed me 3 things. The first thing he handed to me was a pad of paper that was full of locations, names, and how much they needed. The next thing he handed me was a bag full of powder. I asked him what it was and he told me it was heroin.

The first job was easy the guy looked calm and normal. I went up to him and shook his hand. He handed me the money, Then I “Fell” on the ground and he stuck out his hand to pull me up. When he did I gave him the drugs. Some jobs weren’t that easy. Sometimes the people were desperate for it and tried to get the process over with. Sometimes people would pull knives on me but that wasn’t a big deal when I had a gun. When they saw my gun they’d usually sprint away. Nobody else ever had a gun because they spent all their money on heroin. I did this for 3 years and while other people got addicted to heroin I was getting addicted to money and I was definitely getting my hits.

When Abbie found out about this she said she was going to divorce me. When she did I fought for custody of Haleigh. I knew I wasn’t going to get Jack but Haleigh wasn’t Abbie’s kid at all but she was my kid. Abbie had a fair reason for trying to keep Haleigh. Jack and her were best friends and she didn’t want to split them apart. Even though Jack and Haleigh were best friends I didn’t think Abbie would try so hard to keep Haleigh. Abbie and Haleigh were not good together. It seemed like Abbie hated Haleigh she was always screaming at her and accusing her of doing stuff. In the end I ended up losing her.

The day I got caught was on a landlord inspection. They found 6,000 dollars worth of heroin and a small quantity of cocaine. I wasn’t living in the apartment which is the main reason I got caught. That apartment was holding all of my heroin and was paid for by heroin money.

For a while I was being held in the St. Johnsbury correctional facility. They made us do community service before they sent us all to Kentucky or Tennessee. I was doing community service in Montpelier. I got in contact with Chad and I started dealing to the other prisoners. I was living large. I was at kingpin status. Eventually they opened up investigation when 2 prisoners had OD’d on heroin. I knew I was gonna be caught.

When I was caught they decided to put me on the early bus to Kentucky. Before they put me on the bus I swallowed 2 plastic bags of heroin so I could sell drugs in jail but before I got on the bus they made me poop in a bucket. When I did an officer started digging through it. After he found the drugs I said to him, “Is this your job? Do you dig through prisoner’s shit every single day? Do you go home every night and tell your wife that you dig through people’s shit everyday?”

After I said that he threw me on the ground. With one hand he held one eye open and he used his other hand to pepper spray me. Then he threw me on the bus.  I told them they needed to let me shower within an hour of pepper spraying me and they said, “Bring it up with the officer in Kentucky.”

On the bus we were all chained together like in the movies. All of got off at Tennessee and the people who were supposed to go back on the bus to Kentucky were brought back. I was not one of them.

Now Tennessee was a pretty scary looking prison. They make you take off all your clothes and all the guards had wooden sticks and to show you that they would use them they would hit you on your way in and if you stopped walking or fell over they would hit you again and harder. Then after they hit you they would spray you with ice cold water and then they did roll call. After they didn’t call my name they sent the scariest looking guard they could find and had him yell at me and within the next 5 hours I was back on the bus… but I was still naked and cold.

In Kentucky I got a playstation and a TV because I took them from people who owed me money from drugs. I didn’t ask them for it. You see Kentucky had pretty bad security with the few exceptions of the people with very violent crimes. So when guards wouldn’t be looking I would go into the cell of someone who owed me money and just take it.  Kentucky was the exact opposite of Tennessee. Every day I would go down to the cafeteria and get a butterfinger sundae and poor some french vanilla coffee in it. I wasn’t a bad prisoner in fact I was probably what they consider a good prisoner. The reason I think I was a good prisoner is when I saw the other prisoners.

I remember one time when this guy who was about 6ft and maybe 2-3 inches was lifting weights when this other guy who was about 5’7” came over and just started punching him rapidly. Then when the small guy was all tired out the big guy sat up and punched him once in the face and dented it. Now I had seen a lot of fights in jail but never once have I seen anyone dent someone else's face. It’s fights like those that make me I think I was a pretty good prisoner but I admit I wasn’t the best.

I had this guard outside my cell and I always called him baby hitler. One day I said it to him and he said, “Mr.Surrell I will not sit here and be treated like this I will put you in Segregation!”

He wasn’t lying after 20 min of me telling him his name (Hammerand) sounded like an STD he put me in “The Hole”. Segregation or “The Hole” is a small ass room with nothing but a toilet. I would be fed through a small slot in the door and I would sleep through the whole day until Hammerand came onto his shift and I would smash on the door all through his shift. After 3 days of that he said to me, “Listen. Mr. Surrell I don’t have any issues with you and uh if you don’t mind not doing that it would be good. So umm thanks.”

Then I said, “Yeah you know I don’t have any problems with you either and if you don’t mind sliding in my food that would be good.”

As soon as he slid that food in I kicked right back at him and it hit him right in the face. After I did that he busted open the door and pepper sprayed the shit out of me. I kept doing the same thing for weeks. I was kept in Segregation for 62 weeks and I lost probably 17 pounds from skipping all those meals.

My kids didn’t see me often. They came up to visit once or twice but Abbie didn’t want them getting too attached to me when she didn’t know when I would be out.

When I woke up in Jail I would play on the Playstation. Then when they let us out of our cell I would go down to the cafeteria and grab some food and play some basketball. At night we have these people called steel door warriors. Steel door warriors yell threats to people after the lights have gone out and then they change their voice and if one of them threatens you then you're fine because the only reason they don’t say it to your face it means they are scared of you and they are protected by the walls. I won 2 packs of cigarettes one time at basketball and someone said as soon as the lights went off, “Josh i’ll cut you tomorrow on the basketball court. You better not show up and if you do you will never see your mama again.”

For some reason that was a common threat in jail even you didn’t have a mom anymore. They would still say it to you. The next day I dominated at basketball and I knew the person who threatened me was steel door warrior.

2 years had gone by of my prison sentence and I still hadn’t made many friends. Mainly because the prisoners who originally liked me had no playstation or TV because of me. Until one day I was in the cafeteria the day after the new batch of prisoners got here. One came over to me and sat down and said, “I can’t do this! I didn’t do it why do I have to be in this place?!” He was ripping at his hair and kept yelling at the air. I said to him, “Wanna a smoke?” as I held out my pack of cigarettes.

He took one and crushed it in his hand. “What the hell is wrong with you!?” I yelled.

I threw him on the ground and kicked him twice. “I don’t smoke!”

I kicked him again, “So just because you don’t doesn’t mean I should lose my cigarettes!”

I picked him up. He apologized for crushing my cigarette and I apologized for kicking him. I asked him what his name was and what he was in for and he told me his name was Charlie and he was in prison for illegal street fighting and murder but he had nothing to do with the second one.

Like me, Charlie needed money for his family. He said he was qualified for some high paying jobs but nobody hired him because he was black. Charlie got into street fighting and it turned out Charlie was pretty good. He managed to make enough money but some crazy stuff went down and he ended up here.

Turns out Charlie was great at fighting and the only reason he didn’t beat my ass in the cafeteria was because he knew he was in the wrong. Here in jail we have some fights. Charlie built up a reputation for himself. He also spent a lot of his time lifting weights and got huge. Eventually people started calling him Big C but I still called him Charlie. Charlie did a lot of fighting in jail. He won a lot of cigarettes and at first he just gave them all to me but then he started getting addicted to them. Eventually people stopped wanting to fight in fear that Charlie would challenge them. One day a man named Leo challenged Charlie. Leo was one of the tallest people in jail but he wasn’t as muscular as Charlie however Leo was known for killing people when he fought. The fight went like this.

The man who started the fight would always make the voice from the video games like Street Fighter or Mortal Combat. He said, “In this corner we have Muerte”

Which was Leo because he was one of the only people to ever kill someone in a jail fight the max someone usually ever does is put them in the infirmary for a week even though I thought Muerte was a stupid name that's what they called him,“and in this corner we have Big C.”

Leo swung first hitting Charlie right in the stomach but Charlie didn’t budge. Charlie grabbed Leo and started dragging him through the sand and rocks. Then lifted Leo up by his arm and with his right hand Charlie punched him in the face. Leo stayed down for about 4 seconds and then he stood up and started hitting Charlie in the face. The first 2 punches Charlie wasn’t being affected but then it started to look like he was getting hurt. I started to get nervous when out of nowhere Charlie kicked him off of him and Leo stood up and ran at Charlie. Charlie doged Leo’s punch and tripped him. Charlie stomped on Leo’s stomach and was going to let Leo live but Leo got up and ran at Charlie again. Charlie was winding up his fist as a warning but Leo kept running. Then it all happened so fast almost everyone was confused. Niether Leo or Charlie were standing. Everyone was confused blood was everywhere. Leo looked dead but I went over and felt his pulse and he was alive. I looked over at Charlie and It was hard to see at first but he had a screwdriver in his leg.

I went sprinted to Charlie and he asked, “Is he knocked out?”

I said, “Yes he is knocked out.”

“Well at least i’m going out with a victory.”

Charlie shut his eyes. I screamed for the paramedics. But I felt his pulse when they got there and Charlie was dead

I needed to get revenge on Leo. I was going to stab Leo.

I was going to wait until Leo was weak after his fight with Sam.

Leo grabbed Sam and threw him on the ground and kicked him. Leo had no idea what was going to happen. Leo picked Sam up by his hair and Sam gave Leo a grin. At that point Leo and I both knew he was being set up. “Shit!” Leo yelled. He ran but Markus leaped at his feet. Leo fell to the ground as Carlos picked him up and held his arms behind his back. Then Markus stood up and kicked Leo in the stomach. Leo tried to fall onto the ground but Carlos kept holding him up. I dropped my knife. Then it was Sam’s turn. Sam decided to grab the sides of Leo’s face and shoved his thumbs in Leo’s eyes then took his head and rammed Leo’s face into his knee. Then Tyler the leader of the group asked me, “You wanna swing?” I told him, “No i’m fine just watching thanks.” At this point a lot of prisoners had gathered around to see Leo get his ass beat. A lot of people had died at Leo’s hand and their friends wanted revenge. Many people started flooding in just to get one punch on Leo. In the end Carlo’s the person who was holding Leo up the whole time threw him on the ground. Leo was very weak at this point and tried to stand up. Carlos was a very good friend of Charlie’s. Carlos looked into Leo’s eyes and said, “This one’s for Charlie.” Guards rushed over to try to stop what they thought was a regular fight but as soon as they got there Carlos had already lifted his foot. A guard dove for Carlos but it was too late. Carlos had already smashed in Leo’s face with his boots.

I spoke with Tyler about what that was and he said, “We met Charlie 3 days ago and he said if anything like this happened we needed to kill Leo.” I smiled. Charlie was great.

Carlos was never seen again. Some people say he was brought to Tennessee. The rest of jail was pretty boring I did my regular routine and they still had jail fights they just weren’t the same. There was a lot more killing in the fights. I never knew anybody in jail as well as I knew Charlie unless you count all the lies drug addicts told me when I stole their stuff. I was counting down the days until I got out of this boring place.

When I did get out I was staying in a crappy apartment above positive pie. Jack was only allowed to come over once every other month and he didn’t even get to spend the night. After a while I got a job at the co-op. Then one day I ran into someone who I hadn’t seen since high school her name was Dalice. She was a girlfriend back in high school I really liked her and we could have had something back then if it wasn’t for that kid I had with Abbie.

After 2 months of talking we got back together. She had a kid named Cyrus and I was taking a risk because it was no money + kids that got me in jail. Years past and Cyrus was 2 when Caspar was born. Then Dalice and I decided to get married. After we got Married we got a place different place in Montpelier.

I still got in trouble with police after that. Sometimes cops would park right behind me just so when I left the store they could chase me but I would stay in the store for hours waiting for them to leave. Then they would just give me a ticket. You see I didn’t have a problem with getting a ticket I just didn’t want them getting the pleasure of catching me. Cops don’t like me and I hate cops.

One time Jack and I went to Walmart and some guy parked a car that looked just like ours next to us and the only difference was the license plate. I asked Jack to get my cigarettes from the car and he said they weren’t in there and so I got in the car and started looking in it and found out it wasn’t our car. In 3 minutes cop cars showed up. I called Abbie to come pick Jack up. After I got it all sorted out I called Abbie and the police had called back Jack who was 10 at the time and he was in 5th grade and they yelled in his face and made him cry and continued to yell in his face. Yeah cops are assholes.

We stayed in the house in Montpelier for a while but the landlord was an ass so he kicked us out. We didn’t know where to go at first but with 4 and sometimes 5 of us we needed to find somewhere fast. We then got a house in Plainfield

2 years passed and we didn’t have enough money to pay for the house so we were out of there. So with Cyrus, Caspar and sometimes Jack living with us we tried to find somewhere to live quickly. We went to Dalice’s parents’ house. They told us we could stay in the trailer in the woods. Nobody had lived there for 3 years. We went down to the woods to check it out but it’s not like we had much choice. So within 2 weeks we were living in the trailer. Summer was fine during the day.The kids would play frisbee in the woods and Dalice and I would just sit and relax.The nights were bad. Nobody slept there was only one small bed for all 4 and sometimes 5 of us. Sometimes I slept on the 1 and a half feet wide couch.

Winter was dreadful. We had no heat for half of it. Both kids would cry every night so we gave them all the blankets. Dalice and I were freezing and would try to cover ourselves with pillows and Jack was covering himself in dirty clothes so the little boys could keep the blankets. After we got through the winter nights were better by comparison.

We stayed there for almost 2 years but we couldn’t go through another winter. Every night in winter Dalice and I would fight so I don’t think the family could have handled the fighting and the cold. So we saved up all of our money and got some money from Dalice’s parents. Then we got a house in Montpelier so Jack could come over more. After we got settled in the house we had another kid. We named him Caio.

I think we have a decent life. Obviously it could be better but I have these guys. I don’t really like my job in the beginning I thought it would be fun but now I think it’s crap. People treat me bad like the other day. I was towing this guys car because sometimes that’s what we had to do and the man came to get it and he yelling at me he said, “Yeah you're real tough up there in your tow truck aren’t you?”

After he said that I got down from the truck and rolled up my sleeves. He was standing by the gate and I knew how tall the gate was so I knew how he was. He was a pretty small guy. I was standing by the tow truck and that thing was pretty big anyone would look small next to it. I walked up close to the guy who was about 5”8’ and as I got closer I think he started to understand that I was huge compared to him. I am about 6”1’ so when I got up to him he was looking up to me and I said, “Yeah and i’m real tough guy out of it to.” The guy looked scared for about two seconds when he squinted and said “Why don’t you prove it?” I hit the guy in the gut and my boss Charlie ran over just as I was about to punch him the face and Charlie grabbed my fist and held it back.

“Josh stop! What does this guy want?” Charlie asked.

“A fight!”

“No Josh seriously why is he here?”

“I towed his car here and now he want’s to fight me it’s not my fault he’s weak!”

Charlie grabbed the guy and brought him inside and worked out a deal with his car. I almost got fired but they can’t fire me. Before I started working there they sold about 7 car batteries a month and now with me here we sell about 25. I got the award for selling most batteries in a month twice and I have only been working there for like 5 months.

Cyrus is in 1st grade now and Caspar and Caio are in a daycare. Haleigh is a Freshman in Highschool and Jack is an 8th Grader at Main Street Middle School.

One day I got back from work and as soon as I tried to lay down Dalice came into the room. Caspar’s day care called said he was misbehaving. I called her back.

“Hey Ila it’s Josh.”

“Oh hello Josh can I talk to you about Caspar’s behavior”

“Yes of course that’s actually why I called.”

“Well today he took Joseph’s sled.”

“Oh was Joseph on it?”


“Did Caspar already have a sled?”

“Where was Joseph when he took it?”


“Oh so Joseph brought it from home?”


“Then what the hell is the issue here.”

“He’s also smart Josh… It scares me.”

“What do you mean it scares you! Ila this call is a complete waste of my time see you tomorrow morning when I drop my dangerously smart kid off.” I said and hung up. Some people are just so ridiculous. Like when I post ads for cars on Craigslist and people text me stuff like “Was it ever smoked in?” I respond to stupid shit like that with stupid shit like this “There were some dead racoons in it I don’t know if they were smokers. The point of this is that I hate stupid people.

We have a better life compared to the when we lived in the camper. It’s not a great life but it’s not bad. I have 5 kids and have to pay child support on 2 of them and one of the kids I pay child support for I don’t even get to see and we have barely any money and if I hadn’t been caught selling drugs I would have a better life with only two kids but I love my all of my family and i’ll stand by them and protect them By Any Means Necessary.



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