Just Ask Charlie

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Flash Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
Just a 1,000 word silly story about a guy and his friend, a parrot.

Submitted: February 14, 2017

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Submitted: February 14, 2017

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John went to a ball game with his friends that Friday afternoon and they decided to go for drinks afterward. They certainly didn't need more alcohol, but their team had won the game and that was cause for celebration.

Sometime around midnight a bartender, or John, decided John should go home; and with the help of that bartender he managed to call a Cab.

A quick ride to his downtown apartment and he was snug in his bed, with one sock and his pants still on.

 

(A few hours passed by...)

 

"Rise-N-Shine Bird-brain, Rise-N-Shine," the raspy and shrill voice called out.

John rolled over in the bed and thought, "Dam, I forgot to cover the bird cage."

"Hello, --- Rise-N-Shine, Rise-N-Shine! Was the next series of phrases coming from the front-room, and then came the screeching and some very load whistles.

"OK, Charlie, OK, --- I'm getting up! John replied as he staggered toward the bathroom.

After a welcome pee, a quick hand wash, and some water splashed on his face, John headed to the kitchen and started the coffee maker.

"Gem-me-goodies," the bird said several times in the same raspy voice, and then came the screech that only could be likened to the sound of bad brakes on a cement truck.

"OK, --- OK," John whined as he covered his eyes. "Here, have a peanut while I get your breakfast ready."

John dug into the refrigerator and came out with three eggs, some turkey sausage, and left-over green-beans.

In a micro-wave bowl he emptied one egg and made a half-hearted attempt at beating the egg. The fork was one that he had already used once, but it looked pretty clean.

Into the micro-wave went the bowl, with the lid slightly on, and the micro-wave was started.

As soon as the micro-wave started running, Charlie started whistling a medley of songs, songs that he has heard on TV. Songs like the Andy Griffith Show's theme song. 

Out of the micro-wave came the bowl, John spooned some of the egg onto a paper plate, tossed on a couple of green beans, and put the plate back in the micro-wave for another few seconds.

John taste-tested the concoction for temperature and then he served Charlie his breakfast on the breakfast bar.

"Gimme, Gimme, Oh Boy!" Charlie said as John placed him on the bar surface to eat.

"Can I have my coffee now, big guy?" John said as he poured himself a cup.

John tossed the rest of the eggs into the Micro-wave bowl, whipped it up, tossed in some sausage and cheese, some taco sauce, and some spice mix; oh yes, and the rest of the green beans were added just because they were there.

John sat down at the breakfast bar and turned on the TV, to the news station. 

At that moment the news-commentator read off the Lotto numbers and John grumbled to Charlie, "Well we lost again buddy." Then John questioned, "Why don't they pick my numbers Charlie? Just once would be enough."

"You should play my numbers for a change," Charlie replied.

John nearly fell off the bar-stool when Charlie spoke that way.

John asked in a disbelieving voice, "What numbers would those be, buddy."

"The winning ones, John, I always pick the winning numbers," Charlie replied.

At first John thought that he was having some sort of hallucination, but after a few moment of conversation with the bird he became convened that Charlie could carry on normal conversations; if and when he wanted to.

"How do you know that you pick winning numbers, Charlie?" John asked.

"I pick numbers and when you have the news on I find out that I picked the right ones, it happens all the time. Why don't you write down these numbers and play them today? Then you will see," Charlie replied.

I guess it can't hurt; my numbers aren't doing too hot anyway. I'll get a pin and paper," John said.

John wrote down the numbers and played them, actually he played those numbers in every arrangement that he could, just in case. And when the next day rolled around he found that they had won, just as Charlie said they would.

The $42,000,000 jack-pot, $20,000,000 after taxes, left John sitting pretty. He bought race cars, a Rolls-Royce, and a big house in Laguna Beach, California. He hired maids and servants; he even hired a butler just because he always liked the idea of having a butler.

Yes, everything was going great for John. He finally had everything that he always wanted.

Yes, everything was going great until the day John walked past the Library.

"Hay, John!" a voice called out from that massive room. John stopped and then entered.

There was Charlie over by the Library windows, just sitting in his golden-leafed cage with a wide assortment of food and toys all around.

"Oh, Hi Charlie," John said. "Did you call me?" John asked rather sheepishly.

"Of course I called you. Do you see anyone else in this room?" Charlie questioned.

"Well no." John replied. "You seem rather cross with me. Is there something wrong?"

"Really, is something wrong you ask?" Charlie replied, "I never see you anymore, you never fix my breakfast like you used to, and we don't watch the ball games together either. I am lonely and I don't like that you are rich, --- so wake up."

John looked confused and asked, "What Did You Say?"

"I Said, WAKE UP!" Charlie screeched in that raspy and shrill voice.

John rolled over in the bed and thought, "Dam, I forgot to cover the bird cage."

"Hello, --- Rise-N-Shine, Rise-N-Shine! Was the next series of phrases coming from the front-room.

After that came screeching and some very load whistles.

"OK, Charlie, OK, --- I'm getting up! John replied as he staggered toward the bathroom.

After a quick pee and a hand wash John headed to the kitchen and started the coffee maker.

"Gem-me-goodies," the bird said in a raspy voice, then came the screech that could peal paint from walls.

"OK, --- OK," John whined. "Here, have a peanut while I make your breakfast.”

All of a sudden John stopped and looked at Charlie, as if he had suddenly remembered something. That is when John said, "Boy Charlie, I had the strangest dream and in that dream you picked winning Lotto numbers. We were rich!"

"That's silly," Charlie replied, "but if you turn on the sports channel I'll tell you which horses are going to win at Santa Anita today.

 

D. Thurmond / JEF  ---  02-11-2017


© Copyright 2018 D. Thurmond, aka, JEF. All rights reserved.

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