Relationships

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic

Submitted: February 15, 2017

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Submitted: February 15, 2017

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Relationships

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There was a time I wanted to get rid of my parents. So I contacted an agency and they sent prospective me’s to my parents house. That worked for 2 days before they caught on. There was an extensive test to prove that it was me and all of them failed. But everyone had fun and my mom and dad made a few friends.  So I am not worried about them anymore.  I tell them I am eldest child so I have taken care of you all these years with my time and money and my kids. They admit I have.  I felt the same about my husband. So I have tried to get rid of the relationship without a divorce.  I am now in a non-relationship relationship with all of them. Of course they latch on and I can’t get rid of them. Once in a while on Census day my husband remembers I am his wife. That’s about it. At all other times he is surprised if I seek his company for companionship. As for my mother, her son is the darling of her life. But she never forgets me. A few days without a phone call and she calls me up.  I have to talk to here at least a few days a week. And then she starts on when are you going to visit us. After years of being there for them, no matter what the difficult, I no longer travel to see them.  It’s not that I can’t be bothered. I just don’t have the energy to make the journey. I leave it to God to decide my next journey. When I have the energy. They are not going anywhere.  At my wedding my husband got this advice from my Dad, no matter what happens , don’t leave her :-0.  I was already planning my exit strategy. I told him I already had 2 kids from my 2 guy friends. He just nodded his head. I said I won’t give sex. :-0. He nodded to that. I told him I would have guy friends American style. He nodded to that. And ‘a walk out whenever’ I want exit strategy. I told him  I would do what I like, no questions asked. And most important of all, no beating me, even if he feels macho and wants to beat somebody up. He nodded to that.  He is a really nice fellow except I was not interested in sex. So he married me, I did not marry him. In Hindu weddings that’s what happens. The Guy marries the girl. It was a contract marriage that could be annulled anytime since I was married already.  I married myself. There is nothing in the law that says you can’t marry youself . He should never leave me. He nodded to that. He is a distant relative by marriage, not a blood relative.

I adopted American children, always came back to America no matter where we went, made good money and he is still in my life. He is registered as my relative.  We have not got around to getting an annulment yet.  He flirts big time and I gave him sex just once, since he was my guy friend and the Indian Hindu wedding is very elaborate and has rules for a relationship.  I now have many Guy friends. They are all very handsome guys. Tall and handsome. My now relative is not tall.  Otherwise he is ok. A good friend.

Recently I lost my memory but I know for sure I never married.  I recorded all the facts as I knew I was losing my memory.  However I am registered as married. Some bureaucratic bungle which is impossible to fix. I meanwhile went ahead and had a 3 year affair with a friend I have known for over 10 years.  Mind you it was a purely emotional relationship. He is the best thing that happened to me.  At my age you may say. But I found love at 43, the romantic kind.  Unfortunately for me he found a fantastic job in New York and moved away. So I am on my own now with my relative husband.  It has taken me 3 years to get over losing him to a job.  We are a family.  We have raised the kids since they were out of diapers. They are the President’s kids. They lack for nothing. They are very happy in their lives. They see us as mum and dad. I asked them if they wanted a different mom and dad but they said they were fine.

I became Australian recently and am trying defactos , Aussie style :-0. It takes a little getting used to.  I have even moved to Australia.  Moved most of my guy friends and girl friends with me.  They are happily trying out the laid back Aussie life style.  All I do now is eat , sleep, cook and go stand out on my drive way , looking for any prospective defactos and friends. I also have my meeting spots.  I get a tad lonely sometimes, very painful. I am on the look out for a nice Guy friend, must be tall, attractive  in a nice way. Need not be handsome. Do you know anybody ?  But my Aussie friends say, that’s American. Try out defactos. And that’s what I am doing. Still it would be nice to have a guy friend who doesn’t live in another city. 


© Copyright 2017 Katherine Kelly Lang. All rights reserved.

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