What Does it Mean to 'Have a Merc'

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
People are always telling me that they 'have a Merc', I always wondered what that meant, so I found out.

Submitted: February 16, 2017

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Submitted: February 16, 2017

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You may have heard some people talk about 'having a Merc'. And if you're wondering what that means, don't fret, the meaning has almost been lost to time, but I'm here to explain it.

 

Merc is a shortening of the word 'Merc-edes', who is actually the Greek god of logic and reason. They say that any time someone has an idea or solution that is because of logical choices, that Merc-edes, or 'Merc', is guiding their hand and bestowing the gift of knowledge to the world. This was commonly known as 'Having a Merc'. The meaning was lost with the fall of the Greek Empire in 1984 when Troy fell to Oedipus. But this is getting off topic.

 

The word was adopted by German engineers in the 19th century who were looking for a new way to store refrigerants, they called their company 'Mercedes B', the 'B' obviously meaning the 'bulk refrigerants' they were buying and selling. However the market saw them lose business to US based companies whom didn't use deadly ammonia. Then the lead engineer, Bernard, crashed his Ford car, he tried to fix it but accidentally made it better by leaps and bounds. He brought his skills to work with him and the company changed directions and became simply, 'Mercedes'. Then Bernard was appointed CEO, he added that the company's choices were only logical, and that his Merc helped them to become the automotive company they are today. Because the Merc was Bernard's, or Ben's, they decided to add the CEO's name to the company title, renaming the company, 'Mercedes, Ben's'. This had the obvious meaning that Ben had a Merc, however it was misconstrued as Ben owning the Greek god, so the puncuation was lost and the 's' was turned into a 'z' because "it looked cool". And thus, the company we know today was born. The only hitch being that Ben was an absolute cunt, and he made a statement that "anyone who drives my cars has to drive like [a cunt] to keep our brand exclusive and my image upheld." This statement was much like Google's "Don't be Evil", in that it was a little secret, but it got very public and became a staple in the way that 'Mercedes Benz' sold their vehicles.


And now you know why KYLE-42 was such a cunt on the M4, it's because he is. And you also know what happened to the phrase 'having a Merc', the history of Mercedes Benz, and the brief story of one of Greek mythology's most underrated gods, 'Merc-edes'.


© Copyright 2017 Gilby Jones. All rights reserved.

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