Heart to Heart

Heart to Heart

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

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Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Houses:

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Summary

One-shot writing practice. Gary and Jake have recently started a relationship with each other but they're not sure what to do with each other yet...
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Summary

One-shot writing practice. Gary and Jake have recently started a relationship with each other but they're not sure what to do with each other yet...

Content

Submitted: February 19, 2017

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: February 19, 2017

A A A

A A A


The night breeze was cold, crisp: a stark contrast to the hot, stuffy room in the main building of the university which they had left a mere 15 minutes earlier. They would usually talk with their tabletop friends for a while… maybe even hours after their games had finished but Jake had suddenly announced partway through the session after checking his phone that he needed to get up early for work the next day so he wouldn’t be able to stay past 10. And so here he was, sitting quietly next to Jake as the wind rushed by and the hedges and corners were steadily swallowed up, deep in thought and trying to settle his nerves. Strangely enough, the journey up until this point was fairly silent.

“Hey Jake…?” he finally said.

“Yeah?” somehow, Jake sounded a little gruff but he supposed it was his imagination, given the sound of the wind.

“Is there something on? Do you want to talk about it?” he persisted.

“Mmm… it’s nothing big or anything. Well… I guess it is but…” Jake’s voice trailed off.

It was a good opportunity to be assertive here, he didn’t like seeing Jake like this.

“How about we stop somewhere and tell me about it. There shouldn’t be any secrets between us, okay?” despite what he said out loud, the words didn’t sit right with him. A sentence that didn’t ring true with him, but he couldn’t think of any other way to get his point across.

Jake complied without much reluctance, steering the car off to the side of the road at the first available opportunity and Gary wondered whether he was ready for whatever Jake had to say next. Before he could really prepare himself though, Jake had switched off the ignition and already started:

“Well, as I said before, it’s nothing much. Just stress… everyone has stress though.” he casually laid his head on Gary’s shoulder, “but you know… I was just wondering if we could…” he trailed off again.

At this point, Gary was mostly used to casual contact, including the whole being used as a headrest thing, but his chest had started to tighten at the potential implications of his lover’s words. His heart must’ve skipped a nervous beat somewhere and maybe needed some catching up to do. The silence following the awkward half sentence was deafening.

“The stars are really pretty tonight huh?” he managed before looking up to see his mistake.

At this point, Jake burst out laughing, a hearty, disjointed melody penetrating through the night. As much as Gary was embarrassed by his blunder, he couldn’t help feeling relieved to hear him laugh, he hadn’t seemed to be enjoying himself much today during the gaming session and that was a bit weird to see.

As Jake wiped the tears from his eyes, he couldn’t help a small tease: “That was the worst attempt at diverting a conversation I’ve ever heard, you ginger tabby.”

He felt his face heating up and hoped that Jake couldn’t see it in the darkness, but he had a feeling… he knew.

“Wha? Since when did I become your ‘ginger tabby?’”

“Oh come on, you’re ginger and you’re cute. What’s the problem with a fitting term of endearment?” he chuckled.

“And you’re one helluva handsome stallion, I can almost feel your mane blowing in the wind against a backdrop of you standing proudly at the edge of a cliff.” he tried.

“That was weirdly specific, you still roleplaying or something?” at this moment, as if answering Gary’s call, a cold breeze whipped into the car, rustling Jake’s hair. They blinked at each other momentarily.

“Captain Hammer’s here, hair blowing in the wind/breeze~…” they burst out laughing again as they realised they’d started singing in unison.

“How does that seem to happen all the time?” Jake giggled as the wound the window back up and turned on the car to start up the heating again.

“Oh, we are just that much in sync.” Gary offered in a mock seductive tone and gently placed his hand on Jake’s shoulder and leaned in, staring into his eyes.

He found he still couldn’t do this sort of thing without resorting to the kind of mindset they used to have years back, when it was still just a joke. Something that made the psychology lessons a little more entertaining. It ended differently nowadays, but the challenge was starting it and his one-upping nature just wouldn’t let him admit that his heart was bursting from the nervousness.

Jake licked his lips briefly: “Oh Sqwelchy… you’re just asking for this…” and leaned forward to meet his lips.

And Gary wasn’t ready, he never was. But he reciprocated the kiss as best as he could and a familiar ache coursed through his body. Every time, he wondered how he could move his limbs at all and as usual, he couldn’t really put his mind to it, so when Jake made a small lick and started biting a little against his lips, he reeled away in shock.

“Err… that was new.” he gulped, trying to keep the raging heartache down.

“You don’t like it? I just thought your lips seemed a tad dry.” he smiled sheepishly back, “Sorry, I guess that wasn’t really appropriate.”

Dammit, Gary felt like hitting himself. He wanted to get used to it, he wanted to get better and he wanted to get to know Jake more. They were both out of their element though, both with what they felt comfortable with about themselves and also how far they could go with the other without hurting them. They had already been together for a while but they hadn’t gone far and didn’t really know what to do beyond that. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Jake, but the stigma and the preconceptions he’d held onto his entire life before they finally decided to get together was hard to shake.

“No, it’s fine. I’ve just been pretty nervous I suppose.” Gary ran his hand through his hair and after a brief moment said: “you don’t actually have anything on tomorrow, do you?”

“I guess you’d know,” Jake gave a small laugh, “I wanted to take some time to talk about… us. Because I just kind of get the feeling that we’re not in the right place with each other.”

Jake shifted a little in his seat and after a brief pause, opened the door and stepped out. Gary couldn’t tell how Jake was feeling at all, but he felt bad. It wasn’t that he’d done anything wrong but he felt like maybe he’d disappointed both of them. As Jake started speaking again, Gary slowly got out too, a slight sinking feeling in his chest afraid of what to expect.

“Honestly, I was really nervous myself. I hadn’t really thought through what I was going to say. You know how you just think about the same thing and end up going around in circles. I was half expecting to just drive all the way back and not even say anything. Thanks for showing concern about me, it kinda gave me the courage to start talking.” Jake sounded slightly apologetic.

And already, this conversation was helping, because Gary had been thinking in an entirely different direction and had hounded himself into a dead end and finally, Jake had said exactly what had been bugging him. He hadn’t felt right about it all but kind of assumed that it had been just him. His inexperience caused him to stew in his troubles alone and suddenly, at this moment, he made a realisation:

He wasn’t alone.

And in a rush of relief and emotion, gently went to hug Jake from behind.

“It’s cold out here.”

“Nah, I had the window down after all.”

A deep breath.

“I thought I was doing it all wrong. Well, I was. But I thought it was my problem, so I hadn’t wanted to say anything because I was scared to cause problems. But in the end, not saying anything was what was wrong. I’m not very good at this, am I? It’s so weird, this is probably the kind of thing that would be obvious if somebody came to me about it but in the end, I just got stuck on the wrong things and made the wrong decisions.”

 

Jake stood in stunned silence. In all honesty, he hadn’t expected this outburst when he said that. It was something that had just come out of his mouth after that kiss and had been unexpectedly heartfelt. Still, he was glad that finally, gradually, they were making a connection. He knew Gary enough to assume that talking about that sort of stuff was probably a big step for him, still, he couldn’t help making a teasing observation:

“You seem to have a habit of saying something entirely unrelated before you actually say something with substance. What am I going to do with you?”

“I say all that and that’s the first thing that comes out of your mouth?” Gary asked incredulously, trying to poke his head around Jake’s side to look at his face.

In response, Jake turned around to return the hug and craned his neck down to bury his head in the other’s shoulder.

“I really do love you, so I’m not going to do something you’re not ready for. We’re not psychics though, so we should really be clear with each other. I’ve waited for so long already, I can wait a little longer so just take your time. Besides, we’re finally together and I couldn’t be happier.”

Another discrepancy.

Just a small one. He’d left early tonight so he could have enough time to hopefully break the rest of the ice between them and maybe move onto the next stage. He couldn’t very well tell him now about what he was thinking during the gaming session. Especially as it appeared that Gary was far from the point of accepting that sort of advancement. Still, he was grateful they had a lot of time tonight to talk through this. He suspected he probably needed it too.

It was at this point that a few specks of rain began to fall.

“Looks like it’s about to rain, let’s talk about it in the car. I came out to clear my head but I think I should be okay now.” Jake smiled reassuringly as he reluctantly broke the hug.

“Yeah, sounds good.”

So, Jake wandered to the back-seat doors and sat himself in and Gary hesitantly followed suit.

“Why are we sitting at the back?”

Without giving it much of a second thought, Jake leaned down and rested his head on Gary’s lap:

“So that the gearbox and the handbrake don’t get away,” he sighed, “So tell me, what’s troubling you about us?”

Gary raised his eyebrows: “I thought you were gonna get the ball rolling.”

“Not when you’ve said what you did, c’mon.” he rolled around on the seat so that he was facing up to Gary, proffering a coaxing hand to his face.

“Well… it’s a bit embarrassing but I’m still trying to get used to kissing and that kinda stuff. I never thought I’d end up being in a gay relationship, much less with a close friend from secondary school. I guess I’m still trying to get over that. I doesn’t mean that I don’t love you or anything, just that I’m still trying to get this entire thing around my head.”

“Yeah, I guess it’s kind of a lot to think about.”

“I wanted to think that it’s just a normal romantic relationship but when I think that, it becomes more like: holy shit, I’m in a relationship with Jake, and then it’s the same thing again. Then I realise we’ve been going out for a while so suddenly, I’m thinking that there’s stuff you might be expecting from me, especially after we first kissed and… and it just ends up going around in circles. Would I have this much trouble with this all if I had found a girl to love and…”

At this point, Jake hushed him with a finger to his lips.

“Gary, you’re babbling, calm down.” A reassuring smile graced his lips, although he wasn’t sure if Gary could see in the darkness.

“It was so much easier when we used to just joke about it. But it’s different now, the feelings involved. It’s to the point I feel overly conscious about the stuff that we had joked about.”

Jake wondered what he should say to this, considering he felt that talking about his desires here definitely seemed inappropriate. Now it was his turn to feel like diverting the conversation. However, that was probably even less appropriate, given the nature of this talk. It wasn’t like he was able to make anything up on the spot either as the thoughts filled his head and in his indecision, he ended up keeping his silence instead.

“Haha, I guess this isn’t like the movies where the characters always seem to have the right things to say to each other. I should probably remind myself that we’re both pretty new to this huh?” Gary looked down at Jake and gently stroked his hair aside.

“Sorry,” Jake mumbled tilted his head off to the side, he felt like Gary might have seen right through him anyway, “I suggested that we talk to each other about how we were feeling but I ended up letting you do all the talking…”

“Hmmm? Does this mean I’m doing better in this relationship than you are?” Gary quipped playfully.

And suddenly, the mood had lightened all at once.

“Hey! What do you mean by that?” Jake laughed with a gentle punch to Gary’s chest.

“I mean this…” and all of a sudden, he felt his body being lifted up and before he could register what had happened, their lips had already met.

But the kiss wasn’t what surprised him the most. What really got to him was the way it felt so different to how it had been before, a naturalness he didn’t know had existed until now. It felt tender yet carried an air of curiosity, as if Gary was finally interested in getting to know him. As they broke away from each other, Jake stared transfixed.

“Was that really so surprising?” Gary grinned.

Jake grinned back and without a word, propped himself up, turned around and hugged him. Everything was alright in the world for now. There wasn’t any need to rush, they had time to work it all out and things would naturally fit into place. In a moment this perfect, there was no reason to doubt that.

...___...

Author note: Hi guys! It's my first post on Booksie as well as my first attempt at writing a serious romantic scene. I just wanted to write a heart to heart but as for why it's of a gay relationship is a mystery even to me. These are already partially fleshed out characters which is why some parts might be jarring where there might be a tad bit of overexplaining. Criticisms welcome! Bring it on! Grammar nazis and storywriting elitists! (I'm jk plz don't kill me) So long as you're trying to be helpful, it's okay :P Also, I haven't read fluff (or lemon/smut) in ages so please forgive the abhorrent lack of it. All tips and tricks are appreciated (whether in storywriting or Booksie usage).

Thank you for reading!

TinyMunchkin


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