The Little Boy Inside Me

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
A young man who overcomes his fears by traveling to the other side of the world in search for love.

Submitted: February 28, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: February 28, 2017



It felt as if I had travelled to the other side of the world to find the love of my life.

It was a mild night again in the City. Downtown Auckland slowly cooling from the heat of the day. I had just finished showering in my flat in the upmarket area of Parnell. I had been living here since my arrival as a Graphic Designer from England. I had settled in nicely to the laid back life New Zealand offered me, working for a world-renowned Advertising Agency, but I wanted more – I wanted to find true love in my life and settle with the woman of my dreams.


It hadn’t been too difficult to begin with. After all I was an English Gentleman with a different accent which certainly helped in striking up conversation with the local women Auckland had to offer – and that was where the problems began.


As nice young man back in my hometown I had done anything to make a woman happy. Buy her flowers, make her dinner, be there on time and say all of the things which I thought women wanted to hear. I was wrong! By being too nice and sensitive I was very quickly disgarded and placed into the ‘too nice’ category. All I had ever learnt was to be nice and respect women. But I was always on the receiving end of either being dumped, lied to or cheated on.


However Kiwi women were different. I guess ever since New Zealand women had earned the right to vote in 1893 they had found their own level of independence and strength. Unfortunately they had left most of their feminism back in the same year.


They wanted men who swore, were built strong like rugby players, had dirty hands and broke a sweat. In contradiction they also required a man to dress smart, be clean, have manners and be loyal and the lists went on and on. Now I realised why so many women in their forties were single and still looking for ‘Mr Perfect’. So many men had aspired to be that Mr Perfect however each being rejected for a number of individual and sometimes trivial reasons.


I had been on many dates since my arrival, mostly through New Zealand’s only online dating website. I had trawled the many faces and selected any potential dates after further reading their profiles – it felt somehow impersonal like I was choosing sweets from a sweetshop rather than someone I may one day marry. Some were eloquently written, some desperate and some down right blunt. I felt I had to ask a few questions first to try and ween out the ones who were on a rebound from their previous relationships, and there were many. One particular long haired brunette named Jenny who seemed very keen to meet up had recently split from her boyfriend.


“So how long were you with your boyfriend for and when did you split up from each other?” I asked.

“We were with each other for 7 years, we split up 2 weeks ago but I’m completely over him now” replied Jenny.

My head in my hands I knew this was going to be a long process.

So here I was once again, looking into my bedroom mirror, although this time I was different, I had a confident grin, my face slimmer and my body completely toned. After indulging too much in the English lifestyle of Beer and Pies I had decided a change in fitness was required – Muay Thai Kickboxing! I had lost weight and also acquired self-defence skills at the same time. I was calm, confident and for the first time in my life truly felt like a real man – and hopefully the man any true lady would desire.


I slipped on my smart navy jacket and then gave another spray of aftershave to my white shirt. I was flowing with energy as I sang along to the Kings of Leon rock band – “My sex is on fire”.


After arriving in the chic Italian restaurant that I had pre booked for my date, I sat at the bar in a comfortable fashion. It was a busy evening full of smartly dressed people, some couples enjoying each other’s company whilst other groups of friends out for celebrations and gatherings. The dimmed lighting, red curtains and small glowing candle’s adding to the romantic atmosphere.


I had met Scarlett 2 weeks earlier at a speed-dating event. She was one of ten women who were there that night and we had both selected each other as being a potential match. But Scarlett was different from all other women I had dated. She was a smart high-flying business executive in the city, and was very confident and outgoing with a booming laugh. She had long natural blonde hair and a larger than average body. There was an immediate attraction between us and her beaming smile and personality had won me over.


As she walked into the restaurant she sauntered across the room. She wore a tight fitting black dress that emphasized her voluptuous body in fine detail. Her long hair flowing was like something from a movie. I couldn’t believe from the shy boy that I was how I had ended up in this fortunate situation, I didn’t care as I felt on cloud nine.


“Hey how are you Theo?” she said with a beaming smile and a glint in her eye. In the past I would have gone red at this point and turned into a mumbling weak mess. However I was now glowing with my new found charisma and confidence as I calming replied “Awesome, so I guess dinners on you tonight?!”.  I think most women may have ran for the hills at this point, however I had presented myself in such a charming manner that Scarlett just smiled.


I had been developing my inner strength by reading many books on psychology and the dating game. I had intentionally flipped a switched in Scarlett’s mind that no woman would have ever expected. I had done the unconventional thing by having the cheek to ask Scarlett to buy me dinner. After all it had always been expected that men always pick up the bill, a compliment through the centuries which expressed the chivalry and wealth of a suitable gentlemen.


However times had changed, women were now at the forefront of the working industry just as much as men had been. They had their own independence, money and houses, and many lived like they no longer required a man in their life.


We sat down at our table for two by the window, a neat white cloth, two gleaming wine glasses and silver cutlery dressed the table.


“So…how has your week been?” asked Scarlet with her well spoken kiwi accent. She certainly wasn’t the shy type considering she was from a remote rural part of New Zealand and conversation flowed easily and joyfully along.


“I’ve had a great week, I designed the graphics for a Jumbo Plane”, I said proudly.

“Wow” as her eyes immediately dilated towards me.


The only thing I didn’t mention to Scarlett was that the plane graphics I had designed was for toddlers, it was a tiny wooden plane that slotted together. I had created dials made from Donuts, Lollipops, Licorice and other edible goodies. Would she think I was a fake when she found out? Well, it was the truth even though a little far stretched! We reveled in my success for the time being as a bottle of New Zealand Sauvigon Blanc arrived at the table.


Scarlett had grown up on a farm, not the usual working farm however there were a few animals. She had been well versed in changing tractor tyres and working the fields. It was comforting to know that high flying, high earning  business women weren’t all bitches that I had presumed. I was beginning to like the new adventure I was on, some how I always knew deep down that I could associate with smart beautiful women even if I had not portrayed that before.


As the weeks passed I had seen more of Scarlett and had invited her around for dinner. I had been honing my cooking skills ready to give a full presentation of my speciality – Chill Con Carne. I cooked the rice to perfection until the water had evaporated, which left the rice nice and fluffy. The Chilli had been simmering for around 40 minutes in the pan when the door bell rang.


I ran down stairs but as soon as I got there realised I had done so rather too quickly. She may think I was too eager. I decided to count to ten. One...two…three…fuck it…TEN!  “Hey” I said, my heart racing as the door swung open.


“Were you expecting me?”

In the rush of preparing dinner I had forgotten to put my trousers on, so there I stood in my pyjama bottoms.


“Oh…just thought I would get ready for bed early”. Damn I thought, before I could take the words back I had just made a complete knob of myself.  Scarlett went red.


“Would you like some more chilli?” I said as Scarlett scoffed down the last on her plate. “Yes please, this is really good food for a man, better than expected!”, she was being serious. I knew that Chilli Con Carne was pretty much all I could cook so was unsure about what to do for the next occasion. Scarlett was a fantastic cook, in fact no other woman had presented me with such fine home cooked food.


I could tell that Scarlett liked me and even though I did occasionally say the wrong things I blanketed them over nicely with my new found confidence. After Dinner we settled in the living room in a 2 seater sofa, it was small to begin with for just myself , but made the perfect closeness to be accompanied by Scarlett.


Things had never gone this smoothly before in fact the girls I had dated in the past had probably got fed up waiting for me to take action. There must have been so many potential lovers lost over time that I didn’t even realise. Like when a girl I had dated in England invited me in to her house for coffee at the end of the evening “But its nearly midnight, and I have work tomorrow” I said weakly.


After a short while talking with Scarlett, I made my move. Running my hands through her hair, I gently kissed her. Things developed rather quickly as we embraced each other in a full passionate kiss.


“So where’s your bedroom?” she asked.

“Gosh, you are keen!” I excitedly exclaimed!

“No I don’t mean that, I was just wondering about the layout of your apartment and where things were.

“Oh right, let me show you”


I took Scarlett down stairs by the hand one level and into my bedroom. She looked over some of the items on my desk, a picture of Shamus my Irish Jack Russell Terrier, a quote in a plaque my Grandmother had sent me and my latest personal development books.


As she sat on the edge of my bed and gazed into my eyes, I gently pushed her back this time caressing her body sensually. She slowly unbuttoned my shirt and as one thing led to another we spent the night in bed together.


The fears of inadequacy I had felt since I was a little boy had been eradicated, I had conquered my fears and finally become the man I had always wanted to be.

© Copyright 2018 Theodore Davies. All rights reserved.

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