Being Single

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Yesterday News
This is the poem that I am submitting into my school's poetry contest. It's not much, but why not? I don't even know if this counts as humour.

Submitted: February 28, 2017

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Submitted: February 28, 2017



Being single is not that bad.

I mean, a significant other is merely a fad.

When I wanted advice, I consulted my dad,

And as I expected, he wasn’t very mad.

Well, there is one thing that would make me feel sad.

If I was swingin’ singly for the day of my grad.

I would feel kind of lonely. Maybe just a tad.

But nevertheless, I want a comrade.


You see, the fact of the matter is the matter of fact

In order to keep your emotions in tact

You don’t need a mate, you should just watch how you act.

I want to live my life without getting sidetracked

And my heart not to be ransacked

It would leave my life cracked

A relationship is too much like a bad contract,

But don’t mind me, I tend to overreact.


What bothers me is the fact that I still care

It’s a harsh and sad loneliness that I just can’t bare.

Okay, it’s not near that bad, contrary to what I declare.

I feel quite free, and my mind stays elsewhere,

So to my future mate I shall warn you to beware

That if it gets a bit awkward, I won’t even dare

To try to get back together, so be aware.

But so far nothing is fulfilling my half-desperate prayer.


But look at me, drenched in this rain.

There is no end to this endless pain.

Wait, hold on… Why should I complain?

There are unmarried people who work hard with no gain

People whose best friend is cheap champagne

And people who have food that’s impossible to obtain

I wouldn’t survive if my parents looked at me in disdain.

I’m still extremely lucky, but I can’t get that through my brain.


Okay, never mind. This is my cue to stop.

I clearly have no life, that’s why I made this slop.

I mean, are these my true feelings, or just a backdrop?

When it comes to life in general I feel like I’m on top,

So if I ever feel lonely don’t expect one teardrop,

And i you try to clean it up you’ll be left with a dry mop.

But, if you’re wondering, I am an open shop…

Man, this poem is a flop.

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