Billybob Joe's Reports

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Yesterday News
Billybob Joe is a reporter for Yesterday News, who has the best articles by far. In my opinion, that is. For more information, you can no longer visit the website, at

Table of Contents

Violent Crash on Highway E-39

Submitted: December 03, 2018

Violent Crash On Highway E-69 by: Billybob Joe A fatal pileup occurred on highway E-69 connecting Africa to Saskatchewan the... Read Chapter

Age Limit Set on Playgrounds

Submitted: December 01, 2018

People above the age of thirteen were recently banned from local playgrounds. You may think, “Who cares?” Well, WHO (World Health O... Read Chapter

Laws of Physics Won't Apply in 2021

Submitted: December 15, 2018

If you want to write for Yesterday News, just say so! Message me, and I will send you the email address to submit your work to and a Discord invite.
Read Chapter

Seven Children Mysteriously Attacked

Submitted: March 03, 2017

This beauty was in the second edition of Yesterday News, and was brought up in an article which will be shown later in this book. Read Chapter

Purple Banana Finds "Magical" Water Bottle

Submitted: March 03, 2017

This article was in the third issue, and it led to creation of a radio show which flopped dramatically due to the incompetence of the voice actors. Billybob Joe wrote most of the script, and also played two roles in the voice acting, including Purple Banana himself. The radio show has disappeared, except for the full uncut version, which was left on the hard drive of a computer that had crashed. Read Chapter

Eight People Spontaneously Combust

Submitted: March 05, 2017

Spontaneous combustion was always a hot topic in Yesterday News, and this article is from issue 4. Read Chapter

Black Cancer Epidemic Now Confirmed!

Submitted: March 05, 2017

This lesser article was also featured in issue four, and reflects Billybob Joe's addiction to the X Files. Read Chapter

Magic Ring Found in Hawaii

Submitted: March 06, 2017

This was when Billybob Joe was getting better as a journalist. It was featured in issue 6. Read Chapter

Series of Robberies in Hawaii

Submitted: March 06, 2017

This was the follow up of the previous article, also featured in the sixth edition. Read Chapter

Yesterday News Banned

Submitted: March 06, 2017

This was Billybob Joe's sixth article in edition 6 of Yesterday News. It is based off of the radio show created by Billybob Joe, and also the fact that Yesterday News has a lot of haters. Read Chapter

Man Implodes Due To New Spontaneous Combustion Cure

Submitted: March 14, 2017

This was featured in issue seven, and is an example of how spontaneous combustion was a hot topic, and still is. Read Chapter

Anti Yesterday News Group Obliterated

Submitted: March 24, 2017

This was in the first issue of the academic year of 2016-2017, otherwise known as issue 8. It was part of the fact that a lot of people hate Yesterday News. Read Chapter

Obama's Thoughts on the Kazakhstan/Easter Island Wars

Submitted: March 24, 2017

This was also featured in issue 8, and is an example of how Yesterday News attempted to report on politics, but clearly has no knowledge in the matter. Read Chapter

Illegal Rare Materials on the Rise

Submitted: March 24, 2017

This was featured in issue 10, the Dank Meme Edition, and shows the dangers of being a journalist. Read Chapter

Leader of Illuminati N00bscoped

Submitted: March 24, 2017

This was also in issue 10, and shows the importance of MLG, Donald Trump, and the Illuminati. Read Chapter

Yesterday News Attacked By Aliens!

Submitted: March 25, 2017

Issue 11 of Yesterday News took five weeks, so this was the excuse of why it took so long. Read Chapter

Man Killed in Tsunami Shootout

Submitted: March 25, 2017

When issue 11 was published, it was a tough time for Yesterday News, and it still is. Yesterday News now greatly depends on Billybob Joe, because he is the most active journalist, and the only one who makes articles any more. In fact, you can make articles in my Absurd Article Competition, and you could be featured on our website! Read Chapter

This Undefined Cornstarch

Submitted: March 25, 2017

Still featured in issue 11, this story shows that Yesterday News reports on mainly the absurd. Read Chapter

Burger Strikes Back

Submitted: April 19, 2017

This was featured in Issue 12, or the "Drink Advertising) issue. Read Chapter

Die-Hydrogen Monoxide

Submitted: April 19, 2017

This was also featured in Issue 12. Read Chapter

Yesterday News Makes Magazine, Public Outraged

Submitted: May 06, 2017

This is a leak of one of the articles in the very first Yesterday News Magazine, still under its planning phase. The magazine might not even be published until 2017, so you should feel exclusive. Booksie will be the first people (besides me, the editor, and Billybob Joe) to see this article.If you want to be in the magazine, just enter my Absurd Newspaper Article Competition, and you will most likely win your way into the magazine. Read Chapter

Ministry in Lifting Fines Started Using Heavier Fines

Submitted: May 30, 2017

This is an article made by the best journalist featured on the profile of the best person on the best writing website. In other words, this article by Billybob Joe was featured on Bruvton's "News" on his profile. It was a protest against boring news on other accounts, and promotes putting absurd news in the "News" section of your profile. This is in hopes of the world being slowly and systematically taken over by Yesterday News. If you want to receive more of this awesome news, smash that "Shelfit" button, and become my fan. If you decide to participate in this protest, just post in the comments, and I'll become your fan in hopes of good news at least once. Read Chapter

The Truth About Boredom

Submitted: September 02, 2017

This is a factual article about the negative and positive effects of boredom. Read Chapter

Beach Store Frauds

Submitted: September 07, 2017

As a journalist, you need to put yourself in the worst of the worst situations. Billybob Joe did that by working at a difficult Beach Store. This article was written on-location taken by a
first-hand research attempt. Upon reading, you might notice the angry tone in which it was written, and many personal-attacks will be removed from the final draft.
Read Chapter

Chicken Nugger Causing Millions to Starve

Submitted: October 02, 2017

Billybob Joe has used his experience in this low-budget newspaper to actually get good at writing and is hoping to get a job that actually pays. This article was featured in issue 13 of Yesterday
Read Chapter

Donald Trump President of Zimbabwe

Submitted: March 03, 2017

Donald Trump President of Zimbabwe by: Billybob Joe Kim Jong Un was outraged when the people of Djibouti elected the previous Min... Read Chapter


Submitted: November 14, 2017

This will also be featured in Issue 14 of Yesterday News. It is an attempt at yellow journalism.
Read Chapter

Tek Bin Campaign Poster

Submitted: November 18, 2017

Vote Tek Bin, everyone!
Read Chapter

Worldwide Birthday Day Announced!

Submitted: November 13, 2017

SPREAD THE WORD! Birthday day takes place on November 21st, and this article will be featured in Issue 14 on the same day.
Read Chapter

Anti Yesterday News Poster

Submitted: January 27, 2018

This poster was originally created for Birthday Day, and shows Yesterday News' "Hater Equality".
Read Chapter

Amputees Marked “Partially Absent” in School Attendance Reports

Submitted: February 15, 2018

This article is planned to be in issue 15 of Yesterday News, but might be removed if we receive too many complaints about it. It might be the most offensive article ever written by Billybob Joe.
Read Chapter

New Rules Announced

Submitted: November 25, 2017

This was featured in issue 14 of Yesterday News, but this edit was specially made for the magazine. ADEC may or may not be the local education council where this was written...
Read Chapter

Donald Trump Comments on The Mildly Catastrophic War

Submitted: September 29, 2018

This article was also made with Havva Sandvich.
Read Chapter

Rich Businessman Donates Millions to Charity

Submitted: September 30, 2018

Written in collaboration with Havva Sandvich.
Read Chapter

Assimilation in Schools

Submitted: September 15, 2018

Children and teenagers have been outraged lately due to an elevated level of assimilation in their schools. “First they convince us to ... Read Chapter

Man Arrested for Committing Suicide

Submitted: March 03, 2017

This is one of Billybob Joe's early works, and as you will see from this book, he has improved drastically. The previous chapter was one of his more recent ones. Read Chapter

Group of Children Caught Playing Illegal Hide-And-Go-Seek

Submitted: March 03, 2017

Still one of his early works, this story was featured in the very first official Yesterday News from his region. Read Chapter