It is dawn though looks like dusk
Has filled the Jasmine with a musk
Come! Let us fuse into the serenity
Come and dance our ways to eternity!
Seems like dawn has dawned on the earth
Let's see how it celebrates its birth!
Did you notice the sky's necklace being taken off?
Or reckon there's no wink and no cough?
Come! Let us think the matter over
Come and search the culprit. Hover!
Listen to the victim patiently
For it has lost its pearls suddenly!
Here see the sun that unveiled the shawl of night
Is now filling its folds with diamond bright!
Come! Let us witness this mischievous game
Come and observe it's nothing the same!
Curtains at the top are drawn aside
Clouds are pale and pink as a blushing bride!
Stars have drowned in the flood of fiery beam
Moon has disappeared with a smiley gleam!
Come! Let us uncover the convered reality
Come and see that sun's sweet brutality!
No moon seems blinking no star throws a wink
No clamor no clatter not even a clink!
Dropping the droplets of the dew
Night angels depart with their crew!
Come! Let us bid farewell to the notion of dearth
Come and greet dawn with warmth and mirth!
Blades of leaves are bathed and wet
As the dew drops licked and left to get them set!
Dear! The dawn has appeared
Cup your hands; erase the thought of being impaired!
Get determined to vanquish at every step
Do not think of the consequence; nail the husk!
Because,
It is dawn though looks like dusk!
Submitted: March 04, 2017
© Copyright 2021 Rehmat Tanzila. All rights reserved.
Comments
Well written with a good, but different sort of flow. You could have crafted two poems from this. Well done and thanks for a well crafted read.
Sat, March 4th, 2017 6:03pmThe poem was PURE BEAUTY....
Small elements that make a big difference in making it touch.
WOW! TR's, this is your best yet. The flow of your lines and the passion within each sentence, it's just so majestic, so subliminal. Your wording and your metaphors, they are captivating. I am definitely adding this to my shelf.
Tue, June 20th, 2017 5:04pmI'm making my way through all the poems for the 'Bare Your Soul' contest for voting, and decided to of course, comment on them all as well, even though I'm not much of a poet, therefore, I can't really offer much of a thoughtful comment, but I thought people would appreciate it anyway, haha. This one is different from the usual poems I read, but I liked it more and more as I read. It's quite beautiful, the setting and way it's worded.
Thu, June 29th, 2017 11:15pmExcellent painting with word, Rehmat!
Tue, July 4th, 2017 4:41pmWow, I really love how unique the flow and structure of this is-- so richly described and detailed. Liked this a lot! :)
Sun, July 9th, 2017 4:57pmA beautiful poem. You have great talent and expression, I'll look to the sky's this evening whilst reading it aloud. Also I'll look at other works you have done and review. -- Steve Rowell
Fri, July 28th, 2017 10:40ama poem is more beautiful than you :)
Fri, July 28th, 2017 11:39amVery nice. The poem flows nicely!
Sat, July 29th, 2017 6:51amGreat works of art. It really has enticed my emotions. Great use of figures of speech. i am really impressed by this poem.
Sat, July 29th, 2017 7:48pmA beautiful, lush poem that reads like an exhalted hymn reminding of religious songs of India as well as medieval Persian poetry. Power and energy are surging through this!
Sun, July 30th, 2017 4:32pmWow! It's an amazing,wonderful,awesome,beautiful,and nice poem !!!!!!
I loved it too much !
Keep writing amazing poems TR's :-)
~ sW 12 ~
First off I do apologise for being late getting to this poem. I'm so busy writing my own world that I am a slow reader :p
I love poetry, and the first thing I will say is that I love this poem. You give me the one thing I love in any form of writing, and that is imagery. I don't like description, so I am thankful I can fly to the moon on the beautiful flight of your imagery. I don't like the sun, hate it in fact, but I love the moon and stars, because of the solitary serenity they bring.
Your rhyming is exotic with beautiful placement, and each connects to finish off your sentences beautifully. I feel that when the moon appears tonight, I could read this poem again and be in perfect harmony. I love the interpretation that when the moon departs, it is because of the brutally from the sun, and it wakes us up from that solitary serenity by taking it away.
Your poetic metaphors of the moon are a journey, and you understand that about poetry. Each word and sentence has meaning, so each part of that journey you paint beautifully with meaning. You describe the moon as our friend, and that we can have our most beautiful moments together under her light, and when the sun comes out, she can't offer that.
Rehmat this deserves to win any poetry contest. So beautiful with its contrasting meaning of the moon and the sun. I absolutely love this, and you are quite special when it comes to poetry. Keep up the beautiful work :)
Author
Reply
I'm bound to say I didn't write that beautifully but the comments I've received are breathtaking. I really appreciate your appreciation AND that you have so beautifully described my poem. Thank you so much for such beautiful amazing comment and study of the poem. It really means a lot!!!!
Wed, September 6th, 2017 10:22pmThis is just absolutely beautiful. I love the imagery here. It pulls my mind in and I can see all of this. I hit the like button. Very very well written. It gives the subject such poetic justice. Two thumbs way up. Bravo.
Tue, February 6th, 2018 1:03pmBeautifully expressed the nature very deliberately and hit the amazing ideas. Stunning job.
Thu, February 8th, 2018 11:52amexcellent writer,,,,,,, wonderful
may you live long life, be happy always...
Mesmerising!
Fri, March 15th, 2019 3:59pmWow...i love your expressions...very powerful
Thu, June 18th, 2020 9:50pmYou clearly have talent. There were a few forced rhymes, but nothing over the top. Otherwise, it flowed nicely and painted the word picture..
Thank you
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sappy
This one is absolutely beautiful!
Sat, March 4th, 2017 4:31pmAuthor
Reply
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Sat, March 4th, 2017 9:24am