DAWN

This one is absolutely beautiful!

Well written with a good, but different sort of flow. You could have crafted two poems from this. Well done and thanks for a well crafted read.

The poem was PURE BEAUTY....
Small elements that make a big difference in making it touch.

WOW! TR's, this is your best yet. The flow of your lines and the passion within each sentence, it's just so majestic, so subliminal. Your wording and your metaphors, they are captivating. I am definitely adding this to my shelf.

I'm making my way through all the poems for the 'Bare Your Soul' contest for voting, and decided to of course, comment on them all as well, even though I'm not much of a poet, therefore, I can't really offer much of a thoughtful comment, but I thought people would appreciate it anyway, haha. This one is different from the usual poems I read, but I liked it more and more as I read. It's quite beautiful, the setting and way it's worded.

Excellent painting with word, Rehmat!

Wow, I really love how unique the flow and structure of this is-- so richly described and detailed. Liked this a lot! :)

It is almost a hymn of praise to the sun...and speaks of dawn and dusk as one...but dusk ushers in the night's sweet song, while dawn begins the day...This is a unique pairing...
The poem has an upbeat message of promise..

Rehmat,
How amazing this is! No wonder it won that contest! You obviously read a lot of poetry because you understand how to use repetition to emphasize and summarize theme. Your first line is your last, and it brings us full circle to the hugely significant point that we can't know 'dawn' from 'dusk' at just a glance. This is literally true in photography or paintings and it's figuratively true in life where dawn is a metaphor for new beginnings and dusk an analogy for the final moments.

As the speaker, you are omniscient to this, and you walk me through metaphor upon metaphor, convincing me that this is not the end, but the beginning! Your imagery is beautiful. Your poetic intent is encouragement and redirection...dismissal of pessimism and hopelessness.

Technical observations: you really understand alliteration and use it expertly.
I'm talking, EVERY line demonstrates this.
"Dear, the dawn has appeared!" This line demonstrates alliteration of 'd' with "dear" and "dawn" but also shows Internal Rhyme with "dear" and "appeared". Internal rhyme is rhyme within the body of the piece, not restricted to the end of lines. Finally, "dear" and "appear" demonstrates Consonance, which is the repetition of consonant sounds - here you use the 'r' sound at the end of each word. All these things are poetic elements. And you use alliteration at the beginning of your lines, particularly the letter "c". This helps to tie everything together, one line to the other. I like how you directly address your reader.

"Stars have drowned in the flood of fiery beam". Just wow on that imagery, girl! And you see your alliteration in there? (Flood&fiery)...the repetition of 'd' in 'drowned' and 'flood' is consonance. Those elements are everywhere in your work.

"Clouds are pale and pink as a blushing bride"....just wow. This analogy is re-emphasis of theme (new beginnings) as established by your first and last lines in the poem. It's a brilliant image with subliminal significance.

It's an amazing piece Girl! Congrats on your honor!

GG

A beautiful poem. You have great talent and expression, I'll look to the sky's this evening whilst reading it aloud. Also I'll look at other works you have done and review. -- Steve Rowell

a poem is more beautiful than you :)

Very nice. The poem flows nicely!

Great works of art. It really has enticed my emotions. Great use of figures of speech. i am really impressed by this poem.

A beautiful, lush poem that reads like an exhalted hymn reminding of religious songs of India as well as medieval Persian poetry. Power and energy are surging through this!

Wow! It's an amazing,wonderful,awesome,beautiful,and nice poem !!!!!!
I loved it too much !
Keep writing amazing poems TR's :-)
~ sW 12 ~

First off I do apologise for being late getting to this poem. I'm so busy writing my own world that I am a slow reader :p

I love poetry, and the first thing I will say is that I love this poem. You give me the one thing I love in any form of writing, and that is imagery. I don't like description, so I am thankful I can fly to the moon on the beautiful flight of your imagery. I don't like the sun, hate it in fact, but I love the moon and stars, because of the solitary serenity they bring.

Your rhyming is exotic with beautiful placement, and each connects to finish off your sentences beautifully. I feel that when the moon appears tonight, I could read this poem again and be in perfect harmony. I love the interpretation that when the moon departs, it is because of the brutally from the sun, and it wakes us up from that solitary serenity by taking it away.

Your poetic metaphors of the moon are a journey, and you understand that about poetry. Each word and sentence has meaning, so each part of that journey you paint beautifully with meaning. You describe the moon as our friend, and that we can have our most beautiful moments together under her light, and when the sun comes out, she can't offer that.

Rehmat this deserves to win any poetry contest. So beautiful with its contrasting meaning of the moon and the sun. I absolutely love this, and you are quite special when it comes to poetry. Keep up the beautiful work :)

Wow I can see why you won with this it is really good I wish I could write words that flowed as easy as yours just did excellent -:)