DAWN

Reads: 1199  | Likes: 11  | Shelves: 6  | Comments: 24

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Fantasy  |  House: Booksie Classic

Brief story of night's departure!

It is dawn though looks like dusk
Has filled the Jasmine with a musk
Come! Let us fuse into the serenity
Come and dance our ways to eternity!

Seems like dawn has dawned on the earth
Let's see how it celebrates its birth!

Did you notice the sky's necklace being taken off?
Or reckon there's no wink and no cough?
Come! Let us think the matter over
Come and search the culprit. Hover!

Listen to the victim patiently
For it has lost its pearls suddenly!


Here see the sun that unveiled the shawl of night
Is now filling its folds with diamond bright!
Come! Let us witness this mischievous game
Come and observe it's nothing the same!

Curtains at the top are drawn aside
Clouds are pale and pink as a blushing bride!

Stars have drowned in the flood of fiery beam
Moon has disappeared with a smiley gleam!
Come! Let us uncover the convered reality
Come and see that sun's sweet brutality!

No moon seems blinking no star throws a wink
No clamor no clatter not even a clink!

Dropping the droplets of the dew
Night angels depart with their crew!
Come! Let us bid farewell to the notion of dearth
Come and greet dawn with warmth and mirth!

Blades of leaves are bathed and wet
As the dew drops licked and left to get them set!


Dear! The dawn has appeared
Cup your hands; erase the thought of being impaired! 
Get determined to vanquish at every step
Do not think of the consequence; nail the husk!
Because,
It is dawn though looks like dusk!


Submitted: March 04, 2017

© Copyright 2021 Rehmat Tanzila. All rights reserved.

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Add Your Comments:

Comments

sappy

This one is absolutely beautiful!

Sat, March 4th, 2017 4:31pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Sat, March 4th, 2017 9:24am

JE Falcon aka JEF

Well written with a good, but different sort of flow. You could have crafted two poems from this. Well done and thanks for a well crafted read.

Sat, March 4th, 2017 6:03pm

Author
Reply

Oh thanks for an honest opinion ! I really appreciate the response! ^_^

Sun, March 5th, 2017 9:12am

Doveheart

The poem was PURE BEAUTY....
Small elements that make a big difference in making it touch.

Fri, May 5th, 2017 7:30am

Author
Reply

Thanks for reading ..I appreciate your comment :)

Fri, May 5th, 2017 2:01am

jaylisbeth

WOW! TR's, this is your best yet. The flow of your lines and the passion within each sentence, it's just so majestic, so subliminal. Your wording and your metaphors, they are captivating. I am definitely adding this to my shelf.

Tue, June 20th, 2017 5:04pm

Author
Reply

Oh my God .. oh my God thank you Jaylisbeth ... your comment took my breath away! Seriously I'm so glad you enjoyed it ... thank you

Tue, June 20th, 2017 10:09am

ShadaStorm120

I'm making my way through all the poems for the 'Bare Your Soul' contest for voting, and decided to of course, comment on them all as well, even though I'm not much of a poet, therefore, I can't really offer much of a thoughtful comment, but I thought people would appreciate it anyway, haha. This one is different from the usual poems I read, but I liked it more and more as I read. It's quite beautiful, the setting and way it's worded.

Thu, June 29th, 2017 11:15pm

Author
Reply

Ah well I'm so glad you liked my poem ...Thank you ..hey it's alright your already set comment means a lot ^_^ Thanks ..I appreciated being so appreciated !

Fri, June 30th, 2017 12:15am

Mike S.

Excellent painting with word, Rehmat!

Tue, July 4th, 2017 4:41pm

Author
Reply

Thank you Mike I'm glad you read it

Tue, July 4th, 2017 9:55am

Trishala

Wow, I really love how unique the flow and structure of this is-- so richly described and detailed. Liked this a lot! :)

Sun, July 9th, 2017 4:57pm

Author
Reply

Ohh thank you Trishala ..I so glad you liked it

Sun, July 9th, 2017 10:49pm

S P Rowell

A beautiful poem. You have great talent and expression, I'll look to the sky's this evening whilst reading it aloud. Also I'll look at other works you have done and review. -- Steve Rowell

Fri, July 28th, 2017 10:40am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much it really means a lot! Yes do that and tell me how did you feel! Well! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks, cheers!

Fri, July 28th, 2017 4:22am

Wisal Ahmad (Dwaa Mady)

a poem is more beautiful than you :)

Fri, July 28th, 2017 11:39am

Author
Reply

Lol Well Im glad you liked it!

Fri, July 28th, 2017 4:42am

Mark Reece Healey

Very nice. The poem flows nicely!

Sat, July 29th, 2017 6:51am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for the read! I appreciate!

Sat, July 29th, 2017 4:12am

M.S. Sagar

Great works of art. It really has enticed my emotions. Great use of figures of speech. i am really impressed by this poem.

Sat, July 29th, 2017 7:48pm

Author
Reply

I'm glad. Thank you so much for taking time to read! Cheers!

Sun, July 30th, 2017 7:16am

Oleg Roschin

A beautiful, lush poem that reads like an exhalted hymn reminding of religious songs of India as well as medieval Persian poetry. Power and energy are surging through this!

Sun, July 30th, 2017 4:32pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much for reading. It means a lot! I'm so glad you loved it! Cheers!

Sun, July 30th, 2017 10:41am

Small Writer 12

Wow! It's an amazing,wonderful,awesome,beautiful,and nice poem !!!!!!
I loved it too much !
Keep writing amazing poems TR's :-)
~ sW 12 ~

Tue, August 15th, 2017 3:01pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much SW ! I really appreciate your lovely comments and your time dear! Love!

Tue, August 15th, 2017 11:08am

LeParadisNoirPoetique

First off I do apologise for being late getting to this poem. I'm so busy writing my own world that I am a slow reader :p

I love poetry, and the first thing I will say is that I love this poem. You give me the one thing I love in any form of writing, and that is imagery. I don't like description, so I am thankful I can fly to the moon on the beautiful flight of your imagery. I don't like the sun, hate it in fact, but I love the moon and stars, because of the solitary serenity they bring.

Your rhyming is exotic with beautiful placement, and each connects to finish off your sentences beautifully. I feel that when the moon appears tonight, I could read this poem again and be in perfect harmony. I love the interpretation that when the moon departs, it is because of the brutally from the sun, and it wakes us up from that solitary serenity by taking it away.

Your poetic metaphors of the moon are a journey, and you understand that about poetry. Each word and sentence has meaning, so each part of that journey you paint beautifully with meaning. You describe the moon as our friend, and that we can have our most beautiful moments together under her light, and when the sun comes out, she can't offer that.

Rehmat this deserves to win any poetry contest. So beautiful with its contrasting meaning of the moon and the sun. I absolutely love this, and you are quite special when it comes to poetry. Keep up the beautiful work :)

Mon, September 4th, 2017 10:56am

Author
Reply

I'm bound to say I didn't write that beautifully but the comments I've received are breathtaking. I really appreciate your appreciation AND that you have so beautifully described my poem. Thank you so much for such beautiful amazing comment and study of the poem. It really means a lot!!!!

Wed, September 6th, 2017 10:22pm

Jim Green

This is just absolutely beautiful. I love the imagery here. It pulls my mind in and I can see all of this. I hit the like button. Very very well written. It gives the subject such poetic justice. Two thumbs way up. Bravo.

Tue, February 6th, 2018 1:03pm

Author
Reply

Awww thank you so much for your kind apprecition

Tue, February 6th, 2018 6:20am

Mehak Shaikh

Beautifully expressed the nature very deliberately and hit the amazing ideas. Stunning job.

Thu, February 8th, 2018 11:52am

Author
Reply

Thank you so much !!

Thu, February 8th, 2018 3:59am

Momina Khan

excellent writer,,,,,,, wonderful
may you live long life, be happy always...

Fri, March 2nd, 2018 2:55pm

Author
Reply

Aww thanks for the wishes and read as well :)

Fri, March 2nd, 2018 10:46pm

Grace 96-M

Mesmerising!

Fri, March 15th, 2019 3:59pm

Author
Reply

Thank you so much!

Sun, March 17th, 2019 3:51am

Paulad Prism

Wow...i love your expressions...very powerful

Thu, June 18th, 2020 9:50pm

Author
Reply

THANK YOU SO MUCH. HEY!

Mon, June 22nd, 2020 5:43am

Jflaig

You clearly have talent. There were a few forced rhymes, but nothing over the top. Otherwise, it flowed nicely and painted the word picture..

Thank you

Mon, June 22nd, 2020 5:13pm

Author
Reply

So kind of you. Thank you so much for your kind consideration and taking time to read and appreciate.

Mon, June 22nd, 2020 10:28am

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