Fear of the Ground

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Poetry  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Growing older never meant getting wiser.

Submitted: March 10, 2017

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Submitted: March 10, 2017

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As I’ve grown up I’ve realized that the ground got lower and lower.  Almost making me dizzy if I stare down. I know this means that when I’ll fall, it will hurt much more than it did when I was younger.  

Is this the reason I’ve grown to fear falling?

Why I attach pain to failure?

Am I afraid of the potential pain or is the freight of not being able to get back up crippling me?

 

When the ground was closer, I certainly took more risks. Now that I’ve grown older, I’m prudent, careful of every step I take. Ashamed of every time I stumble. Looking down, hoping no one has witnessed. I was not always like this. When I was younger, I fell all the time. But no matter how many times I met the ground I’d always get right back up.

It’s as if, as an adult I’ve lost my trust in the ground’s ability to catch me. As If I’m convinced I’ll just keep falling forever and ever. Now that’s a silly thought.

Falling,

getting hurt,

pulling yourself back up.

It’s the normal cycle.

I think growing up makes us doubt our own abilities to get back up and to stand up on our own. When I was younger, I’d intentionally make myself fall all the time. Getting myself stuck in mud, going up a tree, slipping on ice, being lost in a forest just so I could first my way out of a sticky situation.

 

I loved the struggle.

I felt strong.

I felt capable.

 

What happened as a got older?

 

Did I forget who I was?

 

Did I forget that getting back up was something to be proud of?


© Copyright 2017 Corine Pelletier. All rights reserved.

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