Outsourcing Being a Prick

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic

How long can you pay someone to hate someone else

“Yo, I am so sorry. I didn’t want to be an asshole, but someone paid me good money to be a bully.” Naturally, these aren’t the word you expect to hear after having someone hit you over the head. The worst part of all this, is that I wasn’t sure if he was lying or not. I seriously hoped he was, because when he wasn’t being a jerk, he was kind of cute.

“Wait. What?” was the best response I could come up with

John responded, “Yeah, this guy hated you but didn’t want to get caught being a bully. So his solution was to pay me to do it instead. Honestly, I didn’t want to but I needed the money. I’m sorry.” Wait, he wanted to get to know me. There was no way that John, the terror of my life since freshman year, wanted to get closer to me. There was just no way.

“Which guy was paying you?” I needed to know so I make him pay for keeping John out of my life, because that’s just a dick move. Money can do a lot of things, but it shouldn’t stop you from experiencing something.

“Come on. I’ll take you to him.” John offered out his hand and I realized I was about to hold Johns hand. Now I was convinced this was a dream because there was no way he would be interested in someone like me. Nevertheless, here he was and, dream or not, I was going to make the most of this opportunity. So I grabbed his hand and we started walking.

“So how long has he been paying you? I want to know how hard I’ll have to punch this outsourcing ass-hat.”

John laughed, and I inwardly rejoiced that I made him laugh. “He’s been paying me for about a year and a half,” he started to explain and it made my heart sink a little bit. John had been terrorizing me for a little more than two years.

“So, he wasn’t paying you the entire time?” I was doing my best not to let any tears escape my eyes

“No. he wasn’t, but I wasn’t doing it because I didn’t like you, quite the opposite actually. I really liked you, and I didn’t know what to do. I know you probably don’t believe me, but I’m telling the truth.” This made the whole situation a bit better, but I figured I could make John feel a little bit guiltier. I wanted to get something out of this.

“Sure you are,” and I looked away from him. I could feel him frown, and I smiled a little bit. It’s not every day you get to mess an attractive hunk of man like John and I was going to make the most of it.  I noticed that we were walking toward the admin hall, and not the area with more students. “Wait, was it a student who was paying you?”

I got my answer when one of our vice principals’ jaw dropped when we walked into his office and he saw me holding John’s hand. “John, what the hell? Was the money not good enough, or are you just getting a soft spot for the little dork?” A couple of thoughts rolled through my head at this point: 1, why was this dude paying a student to make my life worse, 2, there’s no way in hell this is legal, and 3, I am taller than this jerk-wad so why was he calling me small?

“I’m sorry Mr. Andersmith, but I didn’t want the money anymore. You see, I’ve been a jerk to Michael for the longest time, and only kept being a jerk because I needed the money. I realize now that I care deeply about this ‘little dork’ and no amount of money can change this.”

Mr. Andersmith smirked a little bit. “You do know what this means, right? If I tell your parents that you like another guy, they’ll disown you. You’ll get kicked off the soccer team, you’ll lose scholarship opportunities, and your friends will call you a freak.”

John laughed, and responded, “God, why are you stuck in the past? My parents have already come to terms with my sexuality, my friends could care less, and any college that denies me a scholarship because I’m gay isn’t a college worth going to. As for soccer, I can deal if I get kicked off.”

Andersmith had become visibly angry now. “Now you listen well. I have paid you good money to make this little faggot’s life hell. Now you’re telling me you want to be a little fairy like him too? I can’t wait to see you burn in hell you little f-“and that’s when Mr. Andersmith got a right hook from the little faggot. I hit him as hard as I could and my fist connected with his cheek, bounced off, and broke his nose. Apparently, he didn’t like blood, because Mr. Andersmith passed out on the floor of his office.


“Yeah, John?”

“I think you’re perfect, “and he smiled

“Thanks, but I think I broke my finger when I hit Andersmith”

John rolled his eyes and kissed me. I suddenly forgot about the pain in my hand.

Submitted: March 11, 2017

© Copyright 2022 Joshua Rowe. All rights reserved.

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