a devilish fool

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Young Adult  |  House: Booksie Classic
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Submitted: March 15, 2017

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Submitted: March 15, 2017

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I asked her how she was able to move on with her life, how she was able to find happiness in the darkest part of it. She sat across from me, looking at the ground, trying to come up with an answer. I noticed she was shivering because of the cold February air, but she didn't want to go inside because she rather physically suffer than mentally. She said the cold takes her mind off of the bad things. I didn't know what she meant by "bad things" so I just sat and waited for my answer. She finally picked her head up and looked at me. Although her eyes were the warmest color of brown, you felt the temperature in your body drop when she looked at you right in the eyes. She looked at me and said, "I know people say that in order to find happiness you must love yourself first but maybe if you let someone love you they will show you what happiness actually is. Sometimes you don't have the strength to try to make yourself happy and that's okay. Even if the person who loves you leaves you, they made you feel what it was like to be genuinely happy." She paused with tears in her eyes and a smirk on her face, "It's so beautiful to see someone smiling because of someone else but sometimes you have to feel pain to know what happiness is." I began to understand what she was talking about. People in your life should only make you want to do better for yourself. Find the beauty in your  suffering. Instead of thinking about all the happiness you had in those moments with your significant other, try to carry that happiness into your life when you are by yourself. She snapped her fingers in front of my face, asking if I was still with her. I nodded for her to proceed. "Maybe that is how you get better. Because even though you have loved the devil, he was once an angel and was trusted by God. Same goes with making people your happiness. You have the decision to trust them and to count on them to be there for you. They have the power to want to stay or not. It's the reason why you should trust actions instead of words. Because although they make you happy, they can become the most horrific person you have ever met." I stared at her with a blank expression. Tears were now rolling down my cheeks and the salt from them burned my skin. I understand what she means by wanting to physically suffer than mentally now. You were once an angel that I trusted so I gave you my heart. Now, you are the devil who has no heart and has broken me apart. I now physically suffer because you took my heart and I understand why she has fallen apart. The last thing she told me was to not let this hurt me but only let my suffering become a work of art and that is how you get better. 

 

 


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