The Man with the Piercing Blue Eyes

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
When I was fourteen, I would run away from home. Here is a story from one of those times.

Submitted: March 16, 2017

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Submitted: March 16, 2017

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Running down the cracked and risen sidewalk, I pass by the people of the streets. I see them staring at me, all the moms walking with their kids, groups of men in their work clothes gathered in a circle conversing, the neighborhood crack head with bug-eyed glasses and raggedy clothing, lost in his own mind, the cholos walking down with their heads up, and the kids walking home from school. My life is crumbling beneath me. I need to get away from this place. I am looking for the bus station that isn't too far but the journey always feels forever to me. I feel enraged with my parents for messing up my plans to leave to LA with my friend. I rush because I know she is waiting. We are going to leave this Valley. Every day I feel sadness and anger in my heart. I am lost. In my house, it is a constant argument and a reminder that I lost my virginity. I never want to be there. At times, I feel like dying. I see stairs and imagine how nice it would be to just let myself fall down them. I can't remember a recent time when I felt happy. My boyfriend said he was going into the army after he had my drunk best friend on top of him. He left me there bawling my eyes out in the park. That's another story for next time. I felt the world against me. I needed to leave and get away from my problems. It was easy just hop on a bus and forget about the world.

I finally got to the metro station and I waited. I waited for my friend to come. I sat down on the floor and rested my back against a board of a map. I looked out into the street as tears streamed down my cheeks. I just need to leave. A tall, broad, bald white man in his 40's or late 30's with piercing blue eyes came up to me. He asked me what was wrong," Are you alright?" I was hesitant to answer at first but I told him, "Yeah, just going through a lot of stuff right now." He had a brown paper bag with a bottle of alcohol in it. He offered me some and I refused, " Mmm... Na I'm ok." I didn't really trust him. He continued talking to me and tried to comfort me, “Everything will be alright." He explained to me that he was in jail for 20 years for something he did as a kid and that he has a daughter around my age. I ignored the fact that he had just gotten out of jail. I trusted him a little more when he said he had a daughter. I told him how I didn't want to go home and I was waiting for a friend to go to LA. He kept talking with me. He listened to me. It felt nice to have someone to talk to. I let my guard down. I told him I had a phone but it did not have service. He told me that he knew a way to unlock it, so I can use it for free. He told me he would unlock it for me. I was excited; I wanted a real phone to use. He asked me,"Hey, I got some weed, you want to smoke some with me?" I hesitated but then I thought, "Why not? He was going to fix my phone.” I agreed and we walked to the park next to the metro station.

I follow him down to the street to a little golf park that wasn't very populated. He led me to a bush and some trees. We are hidden from view. I start to panic but relax myself down. I think, "Everything will be alright." We sit down on some stumps on the ground. He takes the weed out and we start smoking it. I think to myself, "Ok, he isn't acting weird with me, I'll be fine." I’ll just wait until he unlocks my phone. We get high and then he takes out a baggy that has a big clear rock. I've seen that before but not in that form. He crushes it up and made it into dust. He rolls a dollar bill and separates the powder with a card. He makes a couple of lines and asks me if I want any. I think about saying no but my boundaries between right and wrong had faded. I took a line. He took a couple of lines. I kept staring at his eyes when he would talk to me. He got really close to me and reached for my virgin mary necklace that I had around my neck. He held it and gazed at it. He said, "Such a nice necklace."  He told me how such a pretty girl did not deserve to be going through all those problems. I felt uncomfortable. The sky was red and orange. Night time was about to fall. I wanted to go already. He was around 6 feet tall with a built physic. He could definitely out power me if he wanted to. I felt scared. I didn't want to be in the park alone with him in the bushes, where no one can see us at night. He kept staring at me. He leaned forward and asked me," Can I have a kiss? Your lips look so nice." I replied," No, I have a boyfriend and I am 14 years old." He kept insisting on kissing me. I was terrified. I told him,"I have to go home now, it is getting late." He told me,"I thought you said you didn't want to go home. remember your parents treat you like crap. He didn't want me to leave. I told him, "No, my parents are going to get mad at me if I don't go home." He kept insisting for me to stay and promising to unlock my phone. I was convinced to stay for a little longer, It was almost dark. He wasn’t unlocking my phone and he kept staring at my lips, wanting to kiss me. I got up and told him,” Ima go. Thank you, though. He said, " Just stay with me. We can go down to Hollywood. I know some way you can make some money and be independent. Don’t worry I’ll take care of you. We can rent a hotel room. I know you don’t want to go home.” As soon as I heard that, “ I got my bag and walked away from him. I know what this man wants. If I stay here any longer he is going to rape or kill me and no one will ever know. I started walking as fast as I could without running, out of the park. He is following me telling me,” Stop don’t go Ima fix your phone remember. Just stay a little longer, come on. Don’t go.” He tries to grab me but he sees a cop are parked outside of the park. He disappears and I walk out of the park.

I nervously pass by the cop car and head down the street. I feel anxious and paranoid. I am scared of my own shadow. I look behind my shoulders to make sure no one is following me. I walk as fast as I can back to my house. “I could have gotten raped. What if he is following me? What if he is seeing where I live?” I thought. The street is dark and the orange lamp post light illuminate the sidewalks. The bright headlights of the cars flash past in my face as they pass by me. I reach my house. I open the door I can hear my dad in the kitchen so I quickly run to my room to strip down my marijuana stinking clothes. I put on some shorts and a tank top. I run into my brother's room without getting noticed. I get on the computer and start playing “The Door” and turn off the lights. I turn on the black light and let my mind wander to the song "The Crystal Ship" by The Doors. I am trembling and I curl up into fetal position. I repeat, “I am so stupid! I could have gotten raped or killed. Why am I so stupid!?”? I sit quietly in the dark room thinking, "I am going to die soon."

 

 


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