Story of a Victim

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Non-Fiction  |  House: Booksie Classic
My name is Emma Renfrew. I live in Texas. I am 19 years old. and I am a victim of rape.

Submitted: March 17, 2017

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Submitted: March 16, 2017

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Dear reader,

My name is Emma Renfrew. I live in Texas. I am 19. And I am a victim of rape.

Don't worry, it won't have any gory details... 

 

My rapist's name is Brandon. He is the same age as I am, we attended the same school. He was my BEST FRIEND

The first time, I didn't think he'd do anything like that. Everything was normal, then he asked me to walk him part way home since I worked after school at a fast food place near the school. I agreed, I had done it before. Nothing out of the ordinary. Until he pulled me off behind a building and started kissing up on me. 

I'm not a "perfect victim". I didn't hit him. I asked him to stop. I begged him to stop. But he didn't. Next thing I knew, I was up against the wall with my pants down and my so-called "best friend" raping me... we were both barely 16.

 

The second time, we had just about to finish the school year. I still wasn't comfortable around him alone. We were in a group walking in the same direction. I had turned around before passing the place Brandon raped me. He noticed I was gone... and found me heading back to the school... to where it was safe. 

He stopped me and pulled me off to a hidden area and started groping me, kissing me. I tried to fight back a little more, but he kept that from happening. I tried, but I ended up against a stone wall with that same... with him raping me once again... I wanted to die. I couldn't tell anyone without backlash, without my boyfriend thinking I cheated and then lied... I kept quiet. 

 

Junior year starts, I'm still dating the same boy. He still didn't know what happened to me. 

October 10th comes around. Half day at school and none of the teachers were teaching. I sat in the back of the room with some friends, having a good time. Then HE shows up next to me with two of my really good friends. The three of them wanted to go play piano in the upstairs room of the band hall. I, reluctantly, go. The two other friends had no idea what was going to happen later that very day. They hadn't known of what happened to me with HIM in the past. But I couldn't say 'no' without having to explain myself...

They all do their thing. I hover around the two friends closely, not wanting to stay with Brandon. I stand at attention when I hear the two others announce that they have to leave. The bell had just rung. I hurry to grab my stuff to follow but am to slow...

The door closes, leaving me alone in a locked room with my rapist... He asks why I'm in such a hurry. Why I can't look out and wait there for my ride. I stammer trying to say that my ride will be here so soon. He grabs my wrist as I try to leave from the window and pulls me to the ground. He groped me and tries to get his hands in my pants. I slap at his hands and tell him 'no' that I didn't want to do anything. That I wanted to leave. He grabs my hand and forces it away. Next thing I know, he is on top of me. He is inside me... he's raping me... again... I fought back tears. He finally stops because he finished. I get dressed and grab my bags and leave. I go wait for my ride who is now 15 minutes late. I try calling my boyfriend. No answer. I try again. No answer. I text my friend and my drill commander. Both answer immediately after I send "I need help... idk what to do..." both insist I tell someone. Both suggest the NJROTC instructor. I grab my stuff and go to the ROTC room. My CO and PA officers are in there too. I lean against the door to the teachers office. 

"I saw you come in with your instrument and was worried you would start playing too, Renfrew" he said, joking because my PA officer was playing the flute. 

He stops smiling as he looks at my face. "Whats wrong Renfrew?" He asks, immediately worried about what was upsetting me. 

I started crying the words "I don't know what to do, Master Chief..." I try to explain what happened to me to him. He didn't say a word as he got up and took me to find my vice principal. She was easy enough to find. I stood awkwardly in the commons as he interrupts their principal meeting, whispering what had happened in my VP's ear. She looks at me as I fight tears and dispenses the meeting sending one to get the liasons, one to phone the police and one to find anything as physical proof in the room he raped me in. All my 5% battery could let me do was text my father "go to the office". And it died

Pictures were taken of me by the liaison. My father finally shower up while I'm in my VP's office having all this done. My little brother is in the front office, unaware of what was happening to me right that moment. A police officer shows up at the school, talks with my father and tells him that he will take my to the emergency room. My father grabs my stuff from the ROTC room and takes my little brother home. 

 

I go go through all sorts of questioning "when? where? how long ago from now?" So on and so forth. It was 12:30 when I gathered the courage to tell Master Chief. It wasn't even 20 minutes before I told him that Brandon finally stopped...

 

At the hospital, I got tested. I had a rape kit done and my clothes were taken as evidence. I sat with a Family Crisis Councilor who was assigned my case. She was very sweet... I only spoke to her once. I finally left the hospital and went home. Charged my phone as I showered to get the disgusting feeling off of me. No matter how much I washed myself, I still didn't feel clean. I got out of the shower and texted my boyfriend that I was on my way to pick him up. Didn't explain what had happened yet. It was around 3 or 4 when I finally contacted him again after the first attempts to reach him. 

All I could ask him was "why didn't you answer your phone?"

He gave some bull shit excuse and I sat silently. My father didn't say a word as were drove back to my house. My father had already called my work and told the manager who were trusted most what had happened. I had the weekend off because of it. She promised not to tell a soul what had happened to me that afternoon. 

We finally get home and my father goes inside while I stay in the car. Logan, my boyfriend, asks me what's wrong. I finally get out of the car and he follows my lead. I slam the door shut and look at him, tears welling in my eyes. He hugs me and I tell him what happened. 

 

Brandon is arrested and held for who knows how long. 

He is temporarily suspended from the school.

 

I am called into my councilors office to talk about what had happened and who I had told and so on. She informs me that there is a rumor that says I lied about it to "get back with Logan" when we never broke up... got in a fight, but not broke up.

 

I ask to pull my transfer and return to my home school. I leave that school at the end of October. 

 

I left just in time for him to return to school. 

I don't regret pulling my transfer.

I regret not admitting to the past two times.

I regret hiding the past from my friends and family and even Logan until we're had been broken up for a year. 

I regret not pushing the police to press charges.

I don't regret opening up now.

My name is Emma Renfrew. I live in Texas. I am 19 years old. And I am a survivor of rape.


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