I wish

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
"i can tell you all these things because i know you'll never read it."

Submitted: March 18, 2017

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Submitted: March 18, 2017

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 I wish I could tell you the day we met you may have saved my life.

I wish you could understand how empty I was, a mere shell of a human.

I wish I could tell you I was an alcoholic.

I wish I could tell you that under my jeans lay a war zone of torn flesh I had cut myself.

I wish I could tell you I was planning to not make it to 2016.

I wish I could have told you I had resigned on life till the day you brought color into my world. 

I wish it could have started differently.

I wish you could have understood who I was.

I wish I wasn't so afraid of you and the inevitable heartbreak I knew would only come in time. 

I wish I could tell you I was to scared to let you in.

I wish you knew how inadequate I felt next to you.

I wish you knew how I never felt good enough.

I wish you realized how small I felt around you and anyone you knew. 

I wish I could explain how that tore me up inside.

I wish I wasn't so afriad.

I wish that I let my fear go instead of holding onto it till it broke me.

I wish I showed you my love in bigger ways.

I wish I could have given you anything you wanted out of life. 

I wish I never let our love slide.

I wish you knew that even if it didn't seem like it I never stopped loving you.

I wish I could explain my complicated mind, as if I really could.

I wish I didn't shut down when things got hard.

I wish I was emotionally available.

I wish you knew I never really blamed you for anything.

I wish you knew I blame myself for everything. 

I wish you knew how much that haunts me. 

I wish you knew that having to be "friends" breaks my heart every time I hear it. 

I wish you knew that I would let you break my heart one million times if it meant I never had to loose you. 

I wish I never had to find out what real heartbreak felt like. 

I wish I could tell you I never lost the butterflies.

I wish you knew the depth of my love.

I wish and I wish on every star to go back to September, to the start of it all. Just for a redo or maybe a new start.

I wish for one more year with the only man to fully hold  my heart. 

I wish that this mattered but I know you'll never read it. 


© Copyright 2018 Arie Loston. All rights reserved.

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