Dystopia Episode 2

Reads: 23  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Google+
We return to Dystopia to view budding adventurer and Spongebob fanatic Mike Feedback as he attempts to stop a killer rainbow destroying his city. It's up to Mike to save the world from this spectrum of chaos.

Submitted: March 22, 2017

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: March 22, 2017

A A A

A A A


Dystopia Episode 2: The Colors of Destruction

Jay Avery

Mike Feedback woke up at 5 AM to the sound of a crow squawking in his ear, giving him the headache of a lifetime. “Alright, I’m getting up,” mumbled Mike as he sat up. Jibbles, his pet Ukrainian Death Crow, functioned as his alarm clock, if a very unpleasant alarm clock.

 It was going to be a long day. School was starting again, much to Mike’s dismay. He dreaded another eight hours with Mrs. Droan, the mind-numbing lecturer who taught Math, Social Studies, Science, PE, Electives, Physics, Art, and Nose and Ear Care classes.

He trudged sluggishly into the kitchen for some cereal and orange juice. He poured the milk into his cereal and flicked on the kitchen TV miserably.

“…Ted! This Ultra-Rainbow is tearing havoc all across our beautiful town of Dystopia! Illusionist Experts are classifying it as a Category High- Five ‘bow! It’s destroying everything in its path, leaving behind a trail of multi-colored destruction! Viewers, here is some live footage from meteorologist Willy Wownado.” Mike sat up curiously.

“Howdy Ted an’ George! As ya can see, all ‘round me multicolored rubble litters them suburbs, y’know! Millions o’ color-sprayed families are left withou’ a home! The houses that’re still intact are littered with crayons and stuffed unicorns thrown from the galdern rainbow! It’s a colorful nightmare!”

“Thanks a bunch, Willy,” said George. “So now you have a picture of the spectrum of chaos that thousands are suffering from. The Ultra Rainbow is said to be originating from a mysterious fantastical cave up on the AppleBelchin Mountains! Armies trying to stop it are being driven out by unicorns and stuffed animals who insist on snuggly destruction. “

Mike sat there, unable to speak. What was the point of going to school if it would be destroyed anyway? He was always an adventurer. Now it was time for his first quest.

He packed his Spongebob bag with necessities (toothbrush, food, water, Spongebob bobbleheads, etc), and set out the front door toward the mountains.

He had expected trouble, but not this early. He had come face to face with Mrs. Frills, the elderly, eccentric widow who lived across the street from him in her little Victorian cottage. “Oh DAHLING!” Uh-oh.

Ms. Frills smiled her tight-lipped smile. “Oh dahling, you must come in for some tea and biscuits. No, I insist!” Sensing no escape (and Ms. Frills’ iron grip on his arm), Mike had no choice but to postpone his adventure for a… tea party.

He soon found himself chained to a table, with a newspaper, some china teacups, and some stale crackers in front of him. The house was stuffy and filled with the lawn ornaments that Ms. Frills had brought in for the cold weather. Everything in sight was covered in layers of lace.

While Ms. Frills went to grab the tea, Mike miserably read the cover articles about Buck Money’s defeat, an interview with the Wizard of Odd, and a useless piece about how to escape from being chained to a chair during a tea party.

Mike looked away from the paper. The city depended on him, and he needed to escape fast. But how?

“I’m back, dahling. We’ll have a nice, decade-long tea party with my bingo friends! They’ll show up soon!” Mike panicked. He had a deathly fear of Bingo. He had to get out. And then he saw the key. It was taped to the table, with a flowery-scented sticky note next to it reading “Please do not touch unless you are Ms. Frills or my clone. Te-hee!

The next step was obvious.

Mike grabbed the key with his mouth and put to use his lockpicking skills, obtained from a very unsuspicious course operating through a P.O.  box. He freed himself as Ms. Frills was staring out the window. Now I just have to sneak out back…

He tiptoed over to the little white door in the kitchen. Almost there…

CROAK! A motion-detecting stuffed frog alerted Ms. Frills of his escape. “Dahling! What the kittens are you doing? Get back here NOW!!!!!!!”

Her fingers expanded into long claws, and her mottled face got pink and leathery. Spines poked out from the back of her dress. She lunged at Mike with a mouth full of fangs. Mike jumped out of the way, and she crashed into a china cabinet.  She got up surprisingly quickly, and lunged again, barely missing him. Mike ran so hard at the door that it smashed to pieces (which is a major flaw with porcelain doors) and didn’t stop running until he was at the Kruddy Kiddie Park nearly a mile away. He leaned on a jungle gym, gasping for breath like a fish in a black hole.

He had left his bag behind, but there was no going back now, the fate of the city itself depended on him.

“Hello, darling,” said a little old woman on a bench. Mike screamed and ran far away.

OOO

Here I am.

Mike was finally at the base of the strange AppleBelchin mountains. He took a deep breath, and started climbing.

He climbed and trudged for what seemed like hours (possibly because it was hours),  finally stopping at a cliff overlooking Dystopia. In the distance, he could see a giant, pulsing arc. The Ultra Rainbow was causing mass destruction, flinging rubble in the air and setting multicolored fires. Mike started walking again.

Some miles the hill, Mike and the Lord Shrek Cult had an unavoidable argument and a very… strange battle. Mike thanked his lucky stars he was a fast runner, and he luckily managed to make it out without a scrape or a onion branding.

The hill got steeper and steeper, and more and more dense. Eventually, after another thirty minutes or so it began to even out (a bit), and Mike slowed down.

The next hiccup in the journey began about halfway up. He was in the middle of a clearing beside a creek when he heard a growling from beside him. He nearly had a heart attack when he found himself face to… face-like body part with a Minnowtaur, wearing a shirt. A water-dwelling creature with the head of a minnow and the body of a bipedal bull, this was a vicious creature feared by all. Mike rolled over just in time to miss being squashed by a giant, solid piece of plankton.

Mike grabbed a sparkly rock and threw it at the Minnowtaur’s head. The minnow head was knocked clean off, only to be replaced with one of a frog. Mike swore and ran uphill as fast as he could. The Minnowtaur followed him, being pelted by fallen apples along the way.

Mike was slowing down. He felt in his pockets for something to save his life, but found nothing but a ball of string, his MP3 player, a Spongebob paintbrush, and a small package of ground beef. In desperation, he threw the beef package at the bull. The bull looked at it and stopped. “O-Ophelia? Wifey? Theseus did kill you! NOOOOOOO!!!” the bull sobbed. Mike was confused, and stunned. Did the bull seriously think it was his wife? But Mike wasn’t complaining. Feeling a little guilty, he moved on.

Five minutes later, he could dimly see the source cave of the rainbow. He hurried on with determination, and stopped dead in his tracks, horrified.

A sinister clown was standing a little ways from him, holding a long, lethal machete. He slowly turned to Mike, and started waving silently. Mike hastily circled far around the clown.

Within a few minutes’ time, Mike had to battle a many-legged spider-monkey, a villainous boy band, and a corrupt Pac-Man cosplayer. But at long, long last, he was just below the cave, and ready to face the machine.

But the battle had just begun. A huge army of unicorns, teddy bears, and Little Mafia Barbies® were guarding the entrance with plush axes, plastic machine guns, and multicolored horns. Nauseating, overcute synthesized music was playing.

This wouldn’t be easy. But he had an idea. He climbed up the glittery rocks and cliffs and stood right in front of the shiny army.

OOO

“Hey, you!” Mike yelled at them. “You like music? Listen to this!” He cranked up his MP3 player to full volume at cuteness’s least favorite song: Goth Shadow’s top alt song “Life is like a Depressing Void of Miserable Blackness,” a violent, dark rap/alt song. This did the trick. The adorable army ran in all directions from this anti-happiness music; the worst song a unicorn, stuffed animal or Barbie could listen to. Their screams echoed in all directions even after they had left.

Straightening his glasses, Mike pulled out his luminous Seizure-Inducin’ Green Spongebrush from his pocket and walked into the dark, dank cave.

Mike clicked the glow button on the brush. The bright green light from the paintbrush indicated that the only possible direction was straight-forward. So on he went.

Five minutes later, the passage began to shrink, and he was forced to crouch. Then crawl. Then slide. Finally, after a very painful passage was cleared, he found himself in a cavern filled with light of every color of the spectrum.

A colorful machine was shooting out the end of the rainbow from another cave opening. The ear-splitting pulsing made Mike feel like his head was exploding. But he walked confidently toward the conveniently-placed Self-Destruct: Don’t Push button on the side of the bow-shaped machine of chaos.

But sadly, it wasn’t that easy. Something large and plush rammed into Mike from the side, knocking Mike over and scattering the brush across the slimy, color-soaked floor. Mike opened up his eyes and peered over to the object. A pink/white, bigger-than-life-size plush unicorn was standing proudly, staring Mike down.

“Hee-hee-hee. Welcome, brave explorer, to your doom!” sung the unicorn in a high-pitched voice. “Your end awaits! Mwee-hee-hee! Wait, was it Mwo-ho-ho? Or Mwuh-huh-huh? Or-“

“Miss Unicorn, I demand that you shut down this machine NOW!” yelled Mike courageously.

The unicorn neighed irritably. “It’s MISSUS Unicorn, you messy-haired, dull-colored brat! Can’t you see the gold ring on my horn? Anyway, I refuse to give up! The world needs more color, so I figured, what the kittens, why not color it with a fancy machine?”

What the kittens… something seemed familiar about this unicorn. Then it hit him. “Ms. Frills!”

The unicorn cackled. It morphed into the mottled old widow. “Clever, aren’t you, dahling? You see, I am a shape-shifter (which is English for shape-shifter), and can take any living form I want, though an engaged plush unicorn is my favorite. So, how about a tea party before I throw you off this cliff?”

Ms. Frills shifted back into Mrs. Unicorn, and then into a rich businessman with a nametag reading Buck Money, and then into Lady Gag-Gag, and on and on. Mike sat up, bruised and muddy. The Unicorn, now back into its original form, closed in on Mike, who was forced to crawl backwards toward the cliff leading off the mountain.

Now inches from the precipices edge, Mike was trapped. Then, things got worse. Mrs. Unicorn’s army was coming behind her, to help the lightweight toy push Mike off. I guess this is it, thought Mike. He closed his eyes.

Then all Miley Cyrus broke loose. The Lord Shrek Cult, who had apparently been following Mike, had finally caught up with him. But something distracted them. “Unicorn, you son of a Farquaad! My mortal foe! You and your army shall die!” Then an epic battle between the cute army and the ogre army began.

Seizing this battle as an opportunity, Mike ran toward the machine, nearly stumbling on a steaming tea pot. Unicorn caught sight of Mike, and galloped toward him. Quick as lightning on steroids, Mike grabbed the teapot and threw it at the self-destruct button.  “NOOOOOOO!!!” screamed the Unicorn, as the machine began to sizzle and shake. “I used my soul as an ingredient in the machine! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, BO-DAHL-Y 434324-XEXRCXETEOYWAHGZFREQREGQWYR…”

Unicorn began shaking, shifting forms, and gurgling. She flickered one last time, disappeared in a puff of confetti, a large shape crashed through the opening and the machine exploded. Then everything went black.

OOO

Mike opened his eyes, and coughed up a bunch of seawater. He was on the shore of the Serene Sea. A wizened face peered down at him. It was the legendary Wizard of Odd. The old sorcerer grinned a crooked, surprisingly white smile at him, which made up for his potato-like face.

“Me saved your life, m’boy. Also, here is a free toothbrush with me logo on it. Toothpaste costs extra, Me’s afraid. Same for flossers.

“Anyway, you’ve done Dystopia a real service. Me is proud of you, very. Farewell, young lad! If you want help, contact my official messenger, Rhonda Kamikaze, at 1-555-0442! Oh, and use the toothbrush well!” Before Mike’s eyes even finished adjusting, the Wizard jumped on his winged sardine and flew into the ocean with a splash, his cowbell ringing gloriously.

The next few days were a blur. Word got out about Mike’s defeat of the Unicorn, and he quickly became a hero around Dystopia. Everyone was always following him around like an eager paparazzi, clapping and whooping whenever he did so much as sneeze.

Everything seemed absolutely perfect. But little did anyone realize…it wasn’t. Something else was brewing. Something sinister.

Five miles from Dystopia, The Landscaper sat on the top floor of his shovel-shaped skyscraper. He grinned a crooked smile and turned to his muddy computer. “It’s time to give this town of Dystopia a extra-deadly…landscaping.”

And he prepared his superweapon, to which everyone in the suburb was completely oblivious.

Well, except for one person. But he won’t be important until the next sequel, anyway.

The End


© Copyright 2017 jaycbyles. All rights reserved.

Booksie Popular Content

Other Content by jaycbyles

Dystopia Episode 1

Short Story / Humor

Dystopia Episode 2

Short Story / Humor

Popular Tags