Sonnet attempt 1 (Love theme)

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Romance  |  House: Booksie Classic
I'm working on something at the moment and this is just a small part of it. Sorry you're not getting much context but it should speak for itself. Please comment on how it can improve.

Submitted: March 24, 2017

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Submitted: March 24, 2017

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This has been edited because of suggestions in the comments.

 

My love, my love, I will give you my love,

Let go of your man and fly like a dove,

Break loose your bonds and let yourself be free,

Come on my darling, fly away with me,

Now let me speak about your great beauty,

Your face is sweet and your body fruity,

Your eyes are pathways into a dreamland,

Magic I feel when I take your soft hand,

Your hair needs praising like the golden sun,

Radiant, pure, better than anyone,

Which is like your spirit and your good heart,

We shall share a meal, for dessert a tart,

My love for you is undying and true,

Come with me and please love, don’t make me blue.


© Copyright 2017 Lucas Barstow. All rights reserved.

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