a mothers pain

a mothers pain

Status: In Progress

Genre: Memoir

Houses:

Details

Status: In Progress

Genre: Memoir

Houses:

Summary

loosing a child is something no parent should ever have to go through. the journey of this is different for every person but this is my version of my own journey.
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Summary

loosing a child is something no parent should ever have to go through. the journey of this is different for every person but this is my version of my own journey.

Chapter1 (v.1) - The Start

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 29, 2017

Reads: 21

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: March 29, 2017

A A A

A A A

So there comes a time in life when sometimes there's not enough words that you can say out loud to describe what you're going through so you just have to get it out in your own way wether that art, music or wiring like I've chosen to do tonight.

The reason for me writing this is that through the last couple of months I've been through something that not only breaks a person but something that I can never recover from in any way.

I lost a child. Now as a single mum of 2 I work my damn hardest every single day to make sure my girls have a smile on their faces each day which I'm sure many can relate too. I've always thought my only reason for being here and the only explanation for all the things I've been through is to make me into this person I am today a mother with the knowledge of what I wouldn't ever want for my children to go through. As a mother you protect your children at any cost but this time I couldn't do that not for my second born Ruby, and in the worst possible way I was shown that.

It was February 6th 2017. A normal day so I thought. I'd woken up to the cooing and agoo noises of my 4 month old Ruby and the talking of my 1 year old elena and hearing them both just filled me with the love I'd feel everyday hearing their voices. Everything was at it should be ruby had a play elena was sat talking away to Ruby whilst dancing to the music on the tv when it was time to feed ruby and put her down for a nap. As ruby was asleep me and elena continued to watch and listen to the tv have a little dance and a couple hours passed by until it came to Ruby's feeding time again so I'd made her a bottle of milk left it on the side whilst I went into the bedroom to wake her only to find she was very still and silent, straight away my heart was racing my thoughts running wild. I'd walked over to the cot pulled the blanket and the sight I saw was something I would never ever wish on any parent nor person to ever experience in their life.

My little girl wasn't breathing. I grabbed her pulled her out of her cot ran for my phone left elena watching tv dancing away so she didn't see her sister the way she was. Lifeless. Still. Cold. I'd rang 999 explained she wasn't breathing they'd got an ambulance on route straight away in the meantime the lady over the phone was asking me these questions and all I could think was she'll be okay, they'll wake her up. But deep down I knew looking at her she never stood a chance. That's when I realised what was going on the operator told me I had to do CPR so as I'm doing chest pumps, mouth to mouth I'm getting nothing that's when panic starts to set in and I realise she's not coming back from this. After what felt like a lifetime the ambulance arrived pulled out the oxygen mask tried giving her that but still no luck as I'm rushing round getting elenas things and mine and a few of Ruby's in hope that they could save her but then I saw the ambulance worker carrying her and that's when I knew fully she was gone


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