Happy

Reads: 130  | Likes: 2  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 2

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
This is basically like a diary entry for me... Please leave a comment, I'd appreciate feedback. Maybe even advice?
(Side note, I realize it's odd having depression AND happy as tags)

Submitted: March 30, 2017

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Submitted: March 30, 2017

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I almost can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm happy. Not in the pretend way, either. You know, where you plaster on a smile, act engaged, etc. No... I feel like I've emerged from a fog. My head is clearer. I've been genuinely laughing and smiling quite a lot more. And you know what? It feels great! 

When any of my friends are feeling down, I try building their confidence up as much as possible, being encouraging and whatnot. Since I've been feeling a bit better, my delivery has been so much more enthusiastic, and I think that actually helps them more. Does that even make sense? Frankly this whole "entry" is a bunch of rambling that I can only hope you can make sense of.

Overall, I've been trying to make efforts to better myself. I've been eating better, drinking more water, giving my body the nourishment it needs and deserves. That has to be helping, right? It's the little things, too. Like keeping the lights on in my room rather than laying there in the dark. Waking up earlier. Being more engaging in conversation. 

For almost 4 years now I've been having suicidal thoughts, and for several weeks I've been virtually free from those. I know a few weeks of happiness really isn't a lot, but it's such a relief. I wonder what sort of "switch" went off in me to make me feel more content. I'm hoping it lasts. I'll just continue to steer away from self destructive thoughts and actions. 

Thank you for reading, not my best "work" but hey it's all good

~Lily :))


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