32502: Buddy Ray's Mercanized Booreetos

32502:  Buddy Ray's Mercanized  Booreetos

Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor

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Details

Status: In Progress

Genre: Humor

Houses:

Summary

The hot sauce that Buddy Ray uses comes from the Meskin rest-rahnt that that Meskin Melchor somethin somethin somethin bootlegged into the back room of that layteeno grocery store or, as he says, tenda that he snuck into to the work bay of old man Bonifay's old auto repair shop over in Beulah. I swear those people are taking over the world. Buddy Ray stole his from the Meskin rest-rahnt. He poored the contents of those littal bowls into a zip lok bag and hid it in his pants. The bag itsef smells lak derty crouch, his hi gene ain't thuh best, but it didn't get through to the sauce.
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Summary

The hot sauce that Buddy Ray uses comes from the Meskin rest-rahnt that that Meskin Melchor somethin somethin somethin bootlegged into the back room of that layteeno grocery store or, as he says, tenda that he snuck into to the work bay of old man Bonifay's old auto repair shop over in Beulah. I swear those people are taking over the world. Buddy Ray stole his from the Meskin rest-rahnt. He poored the contents of those littal bowls into a zip lok bag and hid it in his pants. The bag itsef smells lak derty crouch, his hi gene ain't thuh best, but it didn't get through to the sauce.

Content

Submitted: April 01, 2017

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Content

Submitted: April 01, 2017

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Buddy Ray and me was havin our mornin coffee with the fellersf over at Bertha's Coffee Shack in Beulah, just catty corna from the Starbucks.  We like Bertha's.  Great coffee and great peepul and we can wear our guns without offendin no body.  On this day, I was carrying a traditional Brownin M1906 model 45 caliber semi-automatic pistol with a  a flared and lowered ejection port, beveled magazine well, and a short trigger with a mode rate but crisp trigger pull and double diamond walnut wood grips.  For my holster, I was wearing a fashionably stylish tan premium saddle leather with double-stitched seams, with a hand-molded fit to create a holster of exceptional quality. The open top design offers a swift draw and presentation, while detailed molding provides secure retention. The butt-forward cant allows effective concealment of even a large defensive handgun. This holster has an open muzzle and I wear it on an equally magnificent premium saddle leather, double stitched belt. 

Buddy Ray was packing a GLOCK 21 Gen4 in a GLOCK Sport/Combat Holster similar to the one he carried as a personal security contractor in Iraq.  This sidearm delivers the legendary stopping power of the .45 AUTO round with 10/13 round magazine capacity. . The Modular Back Strap design on the G21 Gen4 lets you instantly customize its grip to adapt to an individual shooter's hand size and that is important to Buddy Ray because he has kinda small hands.

He is a good man even if a misunderstood one.  He enlisted in the Marines just a few days after 9/11 and he was one of the first Marines into Iraq.  He was a good Marine and really enjoyed his work, but the brass seemed ta thank thet he enjoyed it a bit too much and they accused him of murderin a bunch of Irakees by shooting them in the backs of thar heds while lay in on ther livin room floor. I saw thuh pichures.  It was purty uglee.He was convicted in a General Courts Martial by a bunch of PR oriented officers who wouldn't know a real Warrior if one sat in front of them for a few weeks, which is what happened with Buddy Ray, but the President, with the urging of a patriotic warrior lovin vice president and secatary of dafense, pardoned him and set him free. 

 

Like the most of the mornin cowncil at Bertha's, I think it was a setup.  yew know, those peepul hate Mercans so much, they'd gladly take a bullet to thuh head to fuck up a yewng Marine.  Just like all them Vetnamees wehmin in Vetnam did when they used ta booby trap their yung babies to blow up when a yewng Mercan solyer or Marine picked them up.

After this, He was able to get a job with an international security contractor, whose name we will not divulge, but ran into trouble thar becuz of a shootout in downtown Baghdad that killed a bunch of them ragheads who sacrificed themselves as human shields for terrorists attacking the convoy he was defending.  The modern world is not a warm and fuzzy place for warriors so he left thet job and returned home to Beulah, Florida, where he provides personalized instruction in self defense.

People dew thuh damdest thangs.  Buddy Ray is a good friend and, while I wouldn't trust him with my wife or my money, not to mention my life and fer shore not my bird dog, I take his word for it that this is thuh riginal Meskin recipe.

The hot sauce that Buddy Ray uses comes from the Meskin rest-rahnt that that Meskin Melchor somethin somethin somethin bootlegged into the back room of that layteeno grocery store or, as he says, tenda that he snuck into to the work bay of old man Bonifay's old auto repair shop over in Beulah.  I swear those people are taking over the world.  Buddy Ray stole his from the Meskin rest-rahnt.  He poored the contents of those littal bowls into a zip lok bag and hid it in his pants.  The bag itsef smells lak derty crouch, his hi gene ain't thuh best, but it didn't get through to the sauce.

Anyway, I axed Melchor why don't he call the food and other stuff "Hi Spanick" lak the uh-ther Meskins and he said he ain't "ees-panic."  He has a speech impediment and he can't say the aychas.

But, if yew lak Meskin stuff but yew want something a little more Mercan, try it.

Its reel simpal.

Stayp 1:  Burl some pinto beans and when they get real soft, pour the water off and pour some bacon drippins into them and then mash them up real good.  Yore standerd tater masher is grate for this.  yew can toss in some yeller chayse for good measure. Salt to taste.

Stayp 2:  Fry up some salt pork good  n kahrisp, but don't over cook it.  For this example, he cut up a left over pork chop and fried that to a kahrispy finish, too.

Stayp 3:  He laks to add fried pahtaytahs to his booritos, so he fries some up, in this example left over hash browns from brakefast at Denny's Restaurant, in baycan or sausege drippins.

Stayp 4:  Heeet up a torteeya on the burner.  He has ah 'lectric stove, as yu can say in thuh pitchures, so he heets um up on it.  Thay get a nice toastee flaver.

Stayp 5.  Pile everthang on top of the torteeya and poor some hot sauce on it.  Then, fold won side of it an roll it up.

If yew lak, buy some of that Taco Bell hot sauce at the grocery store.  It is dynamite stuff.

I'll tale yew won thang, yew ain't gonna get any more ah-then-tik than this anywhar in Florida.

Bon voyage (that's what Meskins say when thay wont yew to 'njoy yore meal).

 


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