The beginning

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
How Alesha, a 23 year old beautiful Irish girl, finds happiness despite putting both feet in it

Submitted: April 01, 2017

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Submitted: April 01, 2017

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'Feck!' 

'Alesha mind the mop bucket - I left it on the floor cos I... oh you ah, ok, Il leave you too it' Alice quickly backed out of the kitchen her guilty face not as guilty as I'd like it to be as she spotted me hobpping like a demented spring with what I'm sure is at least every toe smashed lindeed I'd probably need a toe-ectomy or a prosthetic toe.

Hmm. I wonder if I could get  swakowski crystals for toenails? As I daydreamed about toes that dazzled people's in their tracks as I wore my favourite Nine West flip flops down Main Street in my childhood village Glenmare where the gripping drama that everyone was not whispering and not rumour spreading over cups of tea and Mrs Hamleys spiced lemon tea cakes was the wait-for-it.. murder/accidental death/ natural causes/ assassination of Mr Ryan, our local postman.

Alice slowly poked her head around the corner with a box "Lemon spiced cakes anyone?"

I mean how could I stay mad with my best friend when last night after two bottles of red wine, copious bags of cheese and onion crisps, we solved Mr Ryan's  passing, Lord be merciful on him. Now we just had to figure out how to hide the truth because if we don't we will be next and those lemon spiced cakes makes life worth living.

" We could tell Fr oToole in that confession box thingie and he could do something about it!"

"Are you mad Alice? Sure that man hasn't looked anyone in the eye since he burst forth from his mother's loins!" 

"Alesha you know I hate that word. It's so.. so..."

"Vaginal?" I ducked laughing as she threw my beautiful velvet cushion embroidered with a peacock at my head. 

"Ok ok" I held up my hands in surrender.

The doorbell broke through our giggles. Alice enhaled sharply. We made eye contact, neither one of course able to say a word.

"I'll go" I whispered.

i walked across our oak timber floor to the hallway. The wood there shone with a pink hue from the morning sunshine pouring through our unique stained glass front door. My father who had passed away three years ago, the nicest man I'd ever known' was one of five superior stained glass craftsman in Ireland. Three of those he had taken on to train. I looked at the shadow behind the verdant green glass tree. 

  My brain was shouting "What the hell are you doing! You know this is the part in all those crime shows you watch, you scoff at the silly woman answering the door when she knows there is a killer on the loose!"

"Shush" I said. My heart was beating so fast. 

"Who is it?" I croaked  as my heart moved up to my throat.

"Its Billy. Alice is that you? I forgot my key". 

Billy, Alice's boyfriend. I sagged against the wall in relief. In a supersonic movement Alice had the door open and threw herself at Billy.

"Nice. I must forget my key more often". Billy was grinning and looked over to wink and then he saw my face. 

'Alice?' he looked down and tried to lean back to see Alice's face but she held him so tightly.

"Alesha what the feck's going on?!"

He maneovered Alice to under his arm, stepped in and shut the door. I stared at him and said, quite melodramatically I might add. I should have auditioned for our local play when Billy's gorgeous brother Kieran suggested it. I was languishing in a pool of melted chocolate when he was asking me so I didn't pay attention. Sigh, imagine turning over each morning to be greeted by those liquid eyes. I'd do all those things gladly to him that really we are not always glad to do.

Ok I digress. So melodramatically I whisper "We know who killed Mr Ryan"

"You know what? And who?" Billy replied with a very puzzled face.

Alice whipped back her head and lookied up into Billy's sky blue eyes that would have been nearly as distracting as a certain brother of his  but I have a slight penchant for chocolate. Ok ok my name is Alesha and I'm a chocoholic! 

I stared at her with new respect as she didn't inhale until she'd finished "Mr Ryan the librarian who was found dead yesterday at the bottom of his stairs  by Mrs Murphy who had arrived to clean his house and Garda Malloy says was an accident but we all know he won 50000 on the Winning Streak last week and That sister of his Josie is always borrowing money from him due to that lazy good for nothing husband of hers and she killed him by hammering a nail into the top step so poor mr Ryan fell over and broke his neck and then came back and remov d the nail and we know this because we were at her house yesterday evening to pass along our condolences and Alesha saw the book on the side of the chair she was reading was that bestseller How to DIY Better in 3 easy steps and Alesha and I thought when we saw it last week in the paper that it great craic that it was like saying "how to die in 3 easy steps" like a murder manual and on the cover was a hammer and a nail and Mrs Murphy told Mrs Hambly that she overhear Garda Molloy that there was an unexplained hole on the top steps and Mrs Hambly told us and then when we saw that book yesterday we both put two and two together but  we think Josie so the look we gave each other and now.. and  now.." 

Alice hiccuped as she finally drew breath and I finished as Billy looked perplexedly at Alesha "And now we are next!" Billy burst out laughing and stepped back. He took out his phone dialled a number holding his flatter than my hair on a humid day stomach and pressed a key. 

 


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