Memoirs of a loveless night

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Status: Finished  |  Genre: Memoir  |  House: Booksie Classic
The following is a true story with fictional characters.

Submitted: April 06, 2017

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Submitted: April 06, 2017



To Mr. Tumnus,


We have not seen those lanes beyond our memories after that night

But they still live in your heart and mine.


Endlessly, a companion of that enchanted moment

Lucy Pevensie.





The night has some meaningless avenues scattered randomly for lack of intellect and where the roads keep unwinding into seldom comprehensible destinations, a seeking heart shall find one. It was one of those nights, and many lanes. The memories of any sound seemed to have faded away. I just remember him and me. And the beauty of that darkness that unlocked into a thousand shades of companionship. It had no destiny then.


I had not known him for more than those days when he would visit us during the singing sessions. I was a naive seeker for friendship and his eyes offered it. Although he never bared it in so many words, there was that slight spark of admiration that draws young hearts into camaraderie and I shall ever be grateful to my Creator for bestowing those eyes on him.


When I was entrusted to his care for that night to drop me at the railway station, I could hardly believe my luck. I sat at the back of his Yezdi bike and we rode through those dark unwinding roads in the middle of the night. It’s magical how I can still feel my fingers on his shoulders.


He asked, “Shall we go a little further?”


A little further where it never ends, I thought. “Yes, if there is time.” I replied.


“We have plenty of time.” He said before riding on to yet another bend of that darkness.


It was the most beautiful journey of my life. I have a very fading memory of how it ended but so vivid recollections of those meaningless lanes and collaged chatter. In my heart, I treasure that feeling like the wings of a butterfly, still fluttering with the anticipation of a secret world of endless companionship.


I had no desire of trusting any man as I did him. Did I seek eternity in this unimaginable trust? I don't know. But I will ever be grateful to him for sowing that hope. It was precisely that hope that would propel me into believing the idea of relationships.


Walking midst the lanes of that old college and sharing snippets of those horrifying dreams not much beyond letting off the controllables and masks of rotting skeletons, and yet trusting him completely. His soft baritone was ever so soothing and enchantingly welcoming. Everyday my eyes wandered for the sight of this companion who had so easily made his way through the high walls of my cocooned existence. And he never disappointed me.


Until he walked away. With a promise to meet again. It is so painfully etched in my memory that I almost repressed it for fear of crying out loud. That evening was so bright and yet did not offer any consolation. I wanted those dark lanes back in my life and its author had abandoned me.


I could trace him but he seemed far beyond approach. And very happy. I could not help but think that my presence might create a stench of unwanted times. And so I kept watching from a distance not daring to eclipse what seemed luminescent.


Until, he returned again on a dark night. I can still hear the echo of my laughter dripping with an overjoyed heart.


“So, tell me...” he said.

“What do you want to know?” I asked.


Time is of little value when we collect moments for treasure. How I love to have my menagerie of those bubbles that burst into a thousand beautiful memories at the touch of a sigh!!


Fourteen years passed without a word and nothing changed. I still trusted him completely.


He talked like it was yesterday when we had last met. And that endless, loveless night is resurrected on those dark lanes again beyond every dream.


He asked, “Shall we go a little further?”


A little more where it never ends, I thought. “Yes, but now it is time”, I replied.


I return home to my sweetheart and he has dozed off. I lay by his side, kiss him when he is deep asleep and I know that he is my soulmate, my redeemer, my everything.


He returns home and his pretty wife is waiting for him, still awake because there is a will to redeem that everyday love effortlessly. And she is his soulmate.


And, we know that the beauty of a companionship and camaraderie can be cherished beyond the boundaries of destinations. There is endless beauty in what we seek beyond self-gratification. It is so giving and still never hurts.

Because man’s heart has many voids, and to fill one, the other need not be empty. Joy also, as love, is an effort of will and I seem to have found one too many.


© Copyright 2018 Kalpana Daniel. All rights reserved.

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