Interview with a Politician

Reads: 98  | Likes: 0  | Shelves: 0  | Comments: 0

More Details
Status: Finished  |  Genre: Humor  |  House: Booksie Classic
The information given here pertains to a series of interviews conducted to verify and validate the claim of a pharmaceutical company about its new invention, a drug named 'Truth-Out'.

Submitted: April 07, 2017

A A A | A A A

Submitted: April 07, 2017

A A A

A A A


The information given here pertains to a series of interviews conducted to verify and validate the claim of a pharmaceutical company about their new invention, a revolutionary drug named 'Truth-Out'. According to the manufacturers, anybody who takes a 500 mg tablet of this drug will speak truth and nothing but the truth for one hour.

A diverse group had volunteered for this research. Here is an excerpt from an interview with a politician from country 'X' (This subject was an exception and was rather forced to participate in this research because no other politician agreed to volunteer for this study (in fact they all ran away when the purpose of the research was revealed to them).

It is not our policy to disclose the identities of volunteers who participate in our surveys and research projects.

BEFORE THE DRUG WAS ADMINISTERED

Q. How long have you been in politics?

A. It's been a long time, since about 10 years I have been serving my constituency with utmost dedication and sincerity. We truly believe that it is our prime moral obligation to help our community members. We also believe that the people of our community are like our family members.

Q. There were some serious allegations of heavy rigging done by your party in your constituency to help you win the seat.

A. Sorry? A pause, that is a totally false allegation. It was a desperate attempt by those who lost just to tarnish our impeccable image that we have so arduously built, you know.

Q. Your rivals claim that you tweaked results in your favor.

A. That's a baseless allegation by the opposition parties. We believe that it is our utmost responsibility to be honest in all respects. Our party lives up to the highest expectations in terms of transparency and personal integrity.

Q. The opposition parties accuse you of embezzlement and misappropriation of funds. What is your reaction to such a serious allegation?

A. That is not true. That is not true at all. As I have mentioned earlier, we are an extremely honest political group much to the envy of our rivals, let me say... a chuckle.

Q. You were a poor man 10 years ago now a millionaire, or perhaps a billionaire. How would you explain that?

A. I thank God for all His blessings. And I also thank the community members who prayed to God for my success. And I humbly take a little part of the credit myself, if you allow me, sir. Yes, I made ambitious plans in life and I worked very hard to achieve those plans. I firmly believe that honesty and hard work eventually pay in the long run.

Q. Your rivals say that you support gangsters in your area and there were some disturbing reports in the media about such incidents.

A. Well, they all belong to the opposition parties and let me be very honest with you. They did that to malign our party. When they failed to defeat us in the political arena they resorted to such childish tactics. We have a broader perspective and vision and urge all our rival groups to please pull along together for the greater national interest. We must rise beyond ourselves to serve our country. That is my humble request to the general public and all the politicians of our beloved country.

AFTER THE DRUG WAS ADMINISTERED

Q. How long have you been in politics?

A. 10 years. In fact I had been trying for very long to get into a political party but nobody was prepared to let me in. Then I had to implicate a big gun in something, you know, that blackmailing stuff, and that bugger helped me become a member and eventually got me the ticket.

Q. There were serious allegations of heavy rigging done by your party in your constituency to help you win the seat.

A. Are you kidding? What a stupid question! Can you tell me about any political party that does not rig polls?

Q. Your rivals claim that you tweaked results in your favor.

A. It seems that you have no brains at all. What have I just told you, you spineless moron?

Q. The opposition parties accuse you of embezzlement and misappropriation of funds. What is your reaction to such a serious allegation?

A. What an idiotic question again! OK, you tell me. Who would like to come to this dirty shit pond called politics, if he or she doesn't make big bucks?

Q. You were a poor man 10 years ago now a millionaire, or perhaps a billionaire. How would you explain that?

A. Well, that is simple. There are sellers and buyers called market dynamics, supply and demand. Now, where stakes are high so are big monies involved. We simply help that process flow without any fuss. OK..., since you are a bloody idiot and may not understand what I am saying, we work as broker in big deals, understand, knucklehead!!!

Q. Your rivals say that you support gangsters in your area and there were some disturbing reports in the media about such incidents.

A. Yes, we have people on our payroll who do anything for us that we tell them to do. You are right. Initially there were some reports in the print and electronic media and then we straightened out things. OK..., since you are a complete fool and will not understand what I mean, yes, we employ gangsters. We support the local mafia, drug dealers, sectarian violence, ter...

Sorry, we have to end this last paragraph at this point.

Most of the research work has been compiled and the results of this study will be published in leading scientific journals. The drug will be available for commercial sale after obtaining the necessary FDA approvals.

Cheers!


© Copyright 2017 Razi Akber. All rights reserved.