The Girl in The Blue Dress

The Girl in The Blue Dress

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Houses:

Details

Status: Finished

Genre: Romance

Houses:

Summary

The one I loved was in a blue dress
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Summary

The one I loved was in a blue dress

Content

Submitted: April 09, 2017

A A A | A A A

Content

Submitted: April 09, 2017

A A A

A A A


 

As far as I'm concerned

The world around me falls apart. So fed up, I can't even stand the air surrounding me I live in the shadows of my own light, I live through the cracks of my damaged wall, hanging from corrupted ceilings and here I go again waiting so desperately for shadows to melt into blackness. We define nocturnal, we are the side line, and we are the borders of a monochromatic world. Cold, it feels so cold the world we are living in. Everything I see is grey, everything I feel is black and everything I ever wished for was simply white.

Someone once told me that we live in a beautiful world, I laughed sarcastically because I knew that our world ain't beautiful. But days passed and what I realized is the world is really beautiful. She was the beauty I found in the world. Here's the reality of life, it isn't as beautiful as we think it is, yet it has its beautiful side. When the clouds of happiness drift away, sadness follows, you can't do anything but to feel it. To feel it isn't enjoyment, not like gentle sunshine of spring time that drives into your world, yet it's a part of you and you have to feel it somehow.

What I want is to be in between the sunrays and rainy clouds, I need to be in this chaotic and wildness just like my soul and mind, like nature looked right into me and pulled the weather out. Inhaling the happiness on the saddest days. As I saunter in the soft rain all I can hear is the pitter-patter of the rain creates the tones that fills your soul with hope that we may actually live one day in no vain. Maybe there's only love and hate and some sort of feeling in between. That 'in between' the space of mystery is a place that I love. I wonder what goes on the outside of my melancholic world of grey.

Dear Diary, today is the day I finally open up for myself and honestly I don't feel like myself. She walked into the room, she walks in beauty. She's beyond perfection, from her gorgeous eyes and amazing smile to her fashion sense and pretty style. Everything about her is a drug I've been craving for so long. She reminds me of a reflection of my own dreams. Seems like she has lost her wings as she was the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. I tried to give her this letter; she was that girl in that beautiful backless blue dress whom I never thought would be real to exist in such a world.

The way my hands felt when I touched her skin, the way my blood flow though my veins when I grabbed her waist and held her closer to me .It felt like a supernova inside of me. Refreshing feeling bumped my heart with golden roses and silver tulips. She was the hope in my hopeless eyes She stole my heart and left, that was the day I dropped a tear. A tear that held thousands of words. One tear was enough to burn my skin while falling on my cheek. It was enough to burn as I was the most fragile.

I could forget about you in my imagination but reality forbids me from forgetting every inch of you. My heart has always been empty from people but it's so crowded by you, sitting in the corner of my life, trapped in a universe of despair suddenly out of nowhere everything changes, right here 31.949233, 35.927701 I felt myself again, and right here I felt what love means.

U asked why haven't I told her my feelings when I knew she was the one, simply because throughout my life I've been tossed aside by the ones I love and care about without even considering what would happen to me and as a result I'm afraid to move one step closer and tell her how I feel. Just one step between me and that girl that lit the fire inside of me causing that desperate heart to relive again.

She's the silky veil between me and reality, when she looked at me; I hid into her arms so all I can see was her beauty that filled my world. She's like my own poetry that I'm afraid to write every inch of her is a single letter that takes the deaf and mute to sing. She sounds like music that calms my soul and when she's around, her presence brings serenity no matter the chaos in my life. I'm aware of the chaos inside of me and also aware of the dead rose that rested in peace in my agonized heart. Yet I'm not fully aware that I've found the girl that erupted all these feelings back to sanity.

She's two steps in front of me and all I want in this world is to die right into her arms because I'm not feeling anything anymore, nor I will ever again for that matter.

If you're going to love me for my humor, don't, if you're going to love me for my looks, don't, if you're going to love me for my good side, just don't. Fall for my flaws, for my insecurities, fall for my worst side not the best one, because that would be real love. Who doesn't fall for the beauty, personality and looks. No one falls for the things that make us and define who we really are.

It comes to a moment when the pain and sadness feels okay; you just don't wanna get any better because you know nothing will change. You just don't care anymore. I loved her till my passion consumed me, even though I know she won't be mine and I was just postponing the inevitable. I've been thinking about her all day, sleeping and waking up from dreams of her pretty face and all I do is worry about her as long as she's away.

We live in a dark paradise and your light broke through my darkness. They say that behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain, yet the only pain I cared for was the day you left, does that makes me beautiful?

You wanna know something about pain? Pain is the thing that changes and creates us. You ask why I'm so calm and quiet. My pain, though quiet, is never quite silenced. Calm as it may be, it waits patiently for a reason to wake and crawl back in my life. Why so calm? Because those who escape hell, however, never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that. I don't mind the pain because if the hurt and pain comes, so will happiness and joy, not now, not today but eventually.

- Undelivered letter from
the photographer to A.A.
(31.949233, 35.927701)

 


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