Stuck in the Sand

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Status: In Progress  |  Genre: True Confessions  |  House: Booksie Classic
An event that you feel should've never taken the route it did is unforgettable.

Submitted: April 15, 2017

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Submitted: April 13, 2017



Day to night I gain more understanding of the wonderful components that make up this amazing life. I can wake up with a smile on my face because I'm witnessing another day with the people I love, and the opportunity to meet new people is fantastic as well. However, I can't help shake the feeling of a piece of me I dropped somewhere now wondering off in the wind that I can't seem to find. I go a few months thinking I've completely grown over that piece, and replaced it with something new but nothing seems better than the original. Last night I saw you in my dreams with nothing but despise in your eyes as I walked by into the grocery store expecting forgiveness for the wrong I've recognized me do a while ago. Just that quick thought made me forget what I had gone in there for in the first place. The only thing on my list was you as I wanted nothing more than a simple opportunity to stop and conversate for an hour or two. Tears filled my eyes for the first time in years with the expression of disappointment on my face when I seen you with what used used to be a close friend of mine. I could apologize for everything but that would do nothing with the proven point of you ignoring my past couple attempts.

Opportunity comes in many forms, but opportunity isn't much of any help in a situation where it's mainly one sided. Feels of you and them vs. me rather than us against them world. Hearing your voice when I called  him that day for a weekend out to the movies and even willing to pay for food and tickets because I love my brothers put me in a deep pit when I heard your voice in the background. He spent more than a year lying to me about seeing you even though I was on point I said I trusted him hoping for the truth to come out. Thoughts can cloud the mind with bad pictures of what I think might be going on, but reality hit me soon enough.

I could apologize for the hard ship, sorry doesn't cut it. The realization is I can make myself happy along with other people. Instead of leaning towards the idea that you would come back is what was eating up my spirit. Once I gained enough conscious to see that I had become a monster when I starred in the mirror days after you left. I said to myself if there's gonna be a change it has to start in me. I see the guy who used to be my close to me now and walk past without any acknowledgement of his existence because of the rumors he spreads when I'm not around not just to you, but to others as well. I can finally say I've done all I could to assure you that I was completely wrong. This feeling of satisfaction is what I needed to really look forward to moving on. Like one of my all time favorite movies "Hitman" I can consider this contract closed with a smile on my face. I can look to the other women in my view willing to make me happy, and build a life around the one with the same maturity if not greater than mine. As I grow she will too, loving and respecting life itself as we have both found passion in nature itself to go on living a fun life together. The thought of being able to start a family and remain humble and conscious attracts nothing but positivity on this wonderful journey in life. Although everyone experiences some stressful moments because society is designed to keep the simple man/woman in that state will not affect us as much as we know together anything is possible to overcome. It takes 2 in any kind of partnership, with that understanding the universe is ours.

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