The Diary Of A Silly Old Man

The Diary Of A Silly Old Man

Status: In Progress

Genre: Non-Fiction

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Status: In Progress

Genre: Non-Fiction

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Summary

I am eminently qualified to write this diary. I am old, I enjoy being silly and the last time I looked I was a man.

Are you familiar with the words of Alan Bennett ? I have his History Boys and Lady In A Van on DVD. I have read his diary and feel his style of writing is rather similar to my own. NO, I am not claiming to have his writing abilities, far from it, but we appear to work in similar comfort zones.

I have never actually kept a traditional diary, writing daily into a book, but I do support my story writing with an on-line weekly page and a daily bog. I am not really keen on that word you know - BLOG - an Americanism cyber-speak word which really means web-log. I don't want to write a web-log for goodness sake, sounds like a ship trying to navigate itself through something a spider has spun ! Ask yourself would Bridget Jones's Diary be the same if it was Bridget Jones's Blog ? How about The Secret Blog Of Adrian Mole Aged 13¾ ? NAF isn't it ?

Now speaking of Adrian Mole, he was a right character wasn't he ? I hope that some of my adolescence has not completely faded away and finds its way through the character of a silly old man as he writes what ever dribble falls off his pen into these pages.
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Summary

I am eminently qualified to write this diary. I am old, I enjoy being silly and the last time I looked I was a man.

Are you familiar with the words of Alan Bennett ? I have his History Boys and Lady In A Van on DVD. I have read his diary and feel his style of writing is rather similar to my own. NO, I am not claiming to have his writing abilities, far from it, but we appear to work in similar comfort zones.

I have never actually kept a traditional diary, writing daily into a book, but I do support my story writing with an on-line weekly page and a daily bog. I am not really keen on that word you know - BLOG - an Americanism cyber-speak word which really means web-log. I don't want to write a web-log for goodness sake, sounds like a ship trying to navigate itself through something a spider has spun ! Ask yourself would Bridget Jones's Diary be the same if it was Bridget Jones's Blog ? How about The Secret Blog Of Adrian Mole Aged 13¾ ? NAF isn't it ?

Now speaking of Adrian Mole, he was a right character wasn't he ? I hope that some of my adolescence has not completely faded away and finds its way through the character of a silly old man as he writes what ever dribble falls off his pen into these pages.

Chapter1 (v.1) - For goodness sake President Trump sort out America's inability to spell properly !

Author Chapter Note

TUESDAY 11th APRIL 2017

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 18, 2017

Reads: 128

Comments: 1

A A A | A A A

Chapter Content - ver.1

Submitted: April 18, 2017

A A A

A A A

I am not writing my stories to make money but this morning I wish I was !  
 
There were 53 readers for this blog yesterday - that's my page on BLOGGER. Friends in: USA, UK, Germany, Ireland, Belgium, Spain, France, Croatia, Hungary and Iraq. Yes, I am smiling this morning. But before my head gets too big...................ZERO readers for my stories on Amazon.
 
So why do I want to make some money from my writing ? 
 
I would like to have a secretary !
 
Yesterday I finished writing my teenage autobiography - THE STORY OF A TEENAGE ENTREPRENEUR (FAILED)At 25.384 words it is not a novel, neither is it a short story - I guess the word is novelette.
typo.png

 

Twenty-five thousand, three hundred and eighty four words which have to be checked for spelling mistakes, typos and incorrect grammar. 
 
I now have to carefully read through everything, not once, not twice but three times to eliminate the typos - something of which I am KING - before I can publish the story.
 
This is just about the most boring exercise imaginable and it is so easy to allow one's mind to wander.
 
At a recent parents evening my son and daughter-in-law were told that their son. my grandson, loved writing stories but needed to concentrate to eliminate the mistakes in his writing.
 

"That," I told them wearing my retired teacher's hat," is brilliant. That he makes mistakes when he is writing, I mean. In a clever person the brain works far faster than the hand can write down what it is thinking. The more mistakes the cleverer the writer."

 
That is true. Of course it is and as such I must be a genius. Nobody but nobody makes more typos than I do.  I need a secretary to sort out my writing, clean up the typos and prepare it all for publication. I can then be getting on with my next story.

ENGLISH GRAMMAR. I have a theory that while there are basic rules which have to be followed grammar and punctuation can be used to indicate a writer's style.Nobody understand less than The Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation when it comes to the use of English Grammar.  I am not a fan of the BBC and its misuse of grammar is not so much a style but an abuse.

 
I do not want my secretary to be a former employee of The Bullshit Broadcasting Corporation.  I need to tidy up my raw text not wreck it.
 

I can not afford to employ a secretary so I have an exciting task ahead of me today, to sort out, clean and finalise the text for my story. I really do want to get it on to Amazon before the end of the day.

 
This page, this blog entry, will form the opening entry for my new project THE DIARY OF A SILLY OLD MAN.
 
The country sending the greatest number of readers to yesterday's blog was USA - 20 people. My own country, UK, sent 18.  I have been to America many, many times and enjoyed some happy hours there but there are certain things about America which would make it impossible for me to live there.
 
FOOD - Americans have no idea how to prepare a proper mouth-watering dish. I would miss my Full English Breakfast, Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding, Irish Stew and more to live on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.
 
More than that the American national inability to spell properly would drive me absolutely raving bonkers.
Here's a bit of the text from what I have been writing.  See the red line underneath the word finalise ?  That, according to Google, indicates I have made a spelling mistake.
no.jpg
NO I HAVE NOT.

America as a nation can not spell, Google is American and has probably never heard what spelling is all about.  FINALISE uses an S and not a Z. For goodness sale President Trump sort your people out. I can not rely on an American adulterated spell-checker to prepare my story for publication.  I need a secretary.
 
Well that's it for today's blog entry and my first page in THE DIARY OF A SILLY OLD MAN.


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